Radio Daze : 17 – Shedding Skin (I’m writing again)

I started my blog Stuff from Hsoi – writing about whatever interests me, and maybe you February 4, 2009 – 14 years ago. Not surprisingly, the second post to the blog was So why do this?

I didn’t want to blog because I thought it rather arrogant to think that anyone would give a rat’s ass what I have to say. I still think that. I also know that once you put something out online, it’s extremely difficult to make it go away. In real life if you make a mistake or say something you shouldn’t have, eventually it’s lost into the air and life goes on. But if you screw up online, it can stick around for the rest of your life. What doesn’t help is the world has just enough mean people in it that take great joy in digging up dirt and holding your past mistakes over you. Well, let ’em cast their stones.

I still think that.

Or as I later summed it up:

So what will be in this blog? Whatever the hell I want to write about.

It started as a place to ramble about stuff, but over time writing became a creative outlet. I don’t think I’m a great writer, but I have a Bachelors in human communication, and I enjoy observing how people respond to what I write, including how I write it. The communication cycle is fascinating. The blog’s been a good creative outlet for me in both writing and observing. Humans are… funny creatures.

At one point I had to step away from the blog, and then blogging kinda faded away. I did keep Sunday Metal going for quite a while, but even that I let run out just a little while ago because I was tired and going through some shit. It’s some work to make Sunday Metal happen, including requiring a bit of spark or inspiration as many of my work-sessions of “let’s queue up 6 months of Sunday Metal” desired a theme like “all live” or “all thrash” or “all female-fronted or “all hair” or “shit that’s metal and I don’t really listen to them but they are metal and this is Sunday Metal and I need a content theme so…” or the ever popular “whatever rabbit hole YouTube’s algorithm sends me down”. I just didn’t have the inspiration, gumption, nor cycles to sit down and queue more stuff up. But hey, I published this “Radio Daze” series on a Sunday….

Shedding skin

Hsoi’s Radio Daze started when I was packing my office back in Austin Fall 2020 preparing for our move to Bryan. I dug out a bunch of old memories I’d been lugging around since undergrad and high school. I whittled things down, keeping only a few precious things. I found all of these posters and swag from my radio days. I took pictures of the interesting ones then threw out the posters. I also gave all of my physical music collection (CDs, cassettes, vinyl) to a friend who I knew would give it a good home. As I was packing my office, I realized my office represented essentially a 30-year old me – not the me of now 20 years later. I don’t regret throwing stuff out – physically and psychologically. We shed our skin when we grow.

As I took the pictures, I knew I wanted to blog about them; that’s where it started, wanting to write about the posters. Well, the posters are naturally tied to my time in radio, which is tied to my time in a band. As I wrote an explanation of a poster, it necessarily required additional information for context and understanding. Which made me write about radio or the band, which made me realize the article was going to be too long. So I wrote and edited with the mind of having short single-topic “memories”. That is, it’s not an article or a post – it’s me recounting a memory. My goal is to paint a sufficient picture in the mind of the reader, as eloquently as I am able. I may fail, I may paint an incorrect or poor picture, but I try nonetheless. I strive to help you see AND feel my memory.

It started as a handful of posters. It turned into 18 “memories”. While it wasn’t my original plan, I appreciate just letting it naturally evolve – I think this is better. It’s been a lot of work, especially queuing 18 articles for posting and social media. What’s helped is I have a better outlook in my life, driving more things towards completion. It feels great to get out from the weight of my TODO list, that forever ebbs and flows but I’m seriously getting out of the ebbs and into serious flow, getting ahead of the current. I’m not quite there yet, but I have a better drive these days and shit’s getting done. So just like my black belt may be semi-worthless (or all worthless?), it was more about driving to get it done – showing up, putting in the work, getting it done. Satisfaction.

Even if my writing sucks, I’m still going to write and (probably) publish it. This blog is about what interests me, and maybe you.

Thank you for reading.

Mr & Mrs Hsoi, Sep 2022