Hardcore music saved my life

/ hsoi

My friend W turned me on to Hatebreed… little did he know it would literally save my life.

🤘 Metal! 🤘

Me at Milwaukee Metal Fest ’23 (W to my left)

My default music genre is heavy metal. My happy music is hair metal – give me a good Winger song any day (Reb Beach is a monster and you know it). And to be consistently of-the-80s, I also love thrash metal: Metallica, Slayer, Overkill, Anthrax, Sepultura, Dark Angel – the band I went to Milwaukee Metal Fest 2023 for – more recent bands like Havok, Lazarus A.D., Municipal Waste, and Angelus Apatrida (who I first learned of at MMF23). Heavy Metal Parking Lot was my teenage reality.

A related genre always interesting to me was punk and hardcore. I grew up in the 1980s in the Washington D.C. area. I remember a punk kid in high school with his sky-high mohawk and “Marginal Man” leather jacket. I recall learning about the Bad Brains overhearing a couple dudes talking at the Tower Records over in Tysons Corner. Dischord Records. Minor Threat. I never got deeply into the DC scene at that young age, but I was aware, curious, and influenced.

College radio naturally exposed me to many things. Got see Suicidal Tendencies live a few times. Being Metal Director at WXJM in the early 1990s I got exposed to albums by bands like Agnostic Front and Cro-Mags, and getting “on the list” to see live shows like the New Titans On the Block tour which exposed me to Sick of It All.

Then one day in the early 2000s, my friend W turned me on to Hatebreed and that was it.

Hatebreed – I Will Be Heard

NYHC (New York Hardcore)

Biohazard headlining Friday night at Milwaukee Metal Fest 2023 (📷 me)

While Hatebreed isn’t from New York (they’re from Connecticut) it’s that New York Hardcore sound and foundation. That raw brutal anger from and of the city streets – not just any city, but New York City. Biohazard’s Wrong Side of the Tracks presents the city’s ethos at a mid-way break where Evan shouts: “…and when you’re in fuckin’ Brooklyn, you best watch your back!”. This ain’t L.A., baby.

I was exposed to this music and scene through working metal radio in the early 1990s. Biohazard’s Urban Discipline was released in 1992 and I was drawn to it. The rawness, the anger, the aggression. And there was something more: a morality.

I liked Biohazard (Punishment) and again the Bad Brains (Soul Craft). (Fun fact: Bad Brains got “Banned in DC“, moved to NYC, and heavily influenced the burgeoning music scene that fed into NYHC). Hatebreed is the one that really did it for me. I think it was the heavy crunch of the guitars and “chugga” rhythm – that mixing of punk and metal – Jamey’s aggressive vocal delivery, and the particular direction of the lyrics. 

Hatebreed – Before Dishonor

These days I’ve found myself rediscovering the Cro-Mags (No One’s Victim). Yeah, original band members John and Harley have issues; those are their issues, not mine. I like them both: Harley’s music sings to me, and John’s writings speak to me (I’m reading his book The PMA Effect). It’s about that PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

And you see, that’s the thing. There’s a dichotomy between the music and the message. The music is brutal, but so is life. And the message is about life, about survival, rage, persevering, growing stronger. Some of the NYHC dudes were Hare Krishna, Bad Brains are Rasta, and that came through in their music.

And that’s the difference…

It is positive

The aggression of the music: the loud guitars, the barking vocals singing how you should “destroy everything“, which sounds bad on the surface. However, upon looking deeper one discovers it’s directing ourselves to “obliterate what makes us weak” – it’s very inward. That is a song to (re)build strength by.

Bad Brains would go from manic 30 second songs to stoney reggae numbers like I Luv I Jah, a song about being “cool that way” and how “I gotta keep my PMA”. In fact, the notion of “Positive Mental Attitude” originates in Bad Brains’ song Attitude:

Don’t care what you may say,

We got that attitude!

Don’t care what you may do,

We got that attitude!

Hey! We got that PMA!

Hey! We got that PMA!

Bad Brains – Attitude

Legend has it when H.R. was a teenager his father gave him a copy of Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich. “It was saying, if you do it in your mind, if you get your mind right, you can do anything.” H.R. spread that message through his music.

Back to the Cro-Mags. Drag You Under: 

Sometimes life is a real motherfucker. 

Sometimes it feels like life is going to drag you under.

But you just can’t quit.

Cro-Mags – Drag You Under

Couple that with the juggernaut chugga of the song lead by Harley’s aggressive delivery. It injected me with something. “You just can’t quit” sticks in my head… a lot. A drum beat. A mantra. A drill sergeant (in the best possible way). An external voice always in my ear. In No One’s Victim Harley snarls:

You can’t let your circumstances define who you are.

Cuz only death is certain – everything else optional.

Your happiness depends on no one else but you.

Cuz no one else can live your life or fill your grave but you.

Cro-Mags – No One’s Victim

Very memento mori. “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” – Epictetus

Hardcore-adjacent would be Suicidal Tendencies. You’d think with a name like that their songs wouldn’t be about life and living, but they are – they are about the struggle (How Will I Laugh Tomorrow) but also the triumph (The Feeling’s Back). Behold the epic outro rant by Mike Muir on You Can’t Bring Me Down:

Just cuz you don’t understand what’s going on don’t mean it don’t make no sense.

And just cuz you don’t like it don’t mean it ain’t no good.

And lemme tell you something

Before you go takin’ a walk in my world, you better take a look at the real world; cuz this ain’t no Mr. Rogers neighborhood!

Can you say “Feel like shit?” Yeah maybe sometimes I do feel like shit. I ain’t happy about it but I’d rather feel like shit than be full of shit.

And if I offended you? Oh I’m sorry but maybe you need to be offended! Well here’s my apology and one more thing… FUCK YOU!

Suicidal Tendencies – You Can’t Bring Me Down

That sermon – especially the opening lines – has been a plank in my personal philosophy since 18-year-old John first heard the song. And lately, the whole “rather feel like shit than be full of shit” has held true.

Hatebreed brings it the most for me. The entire Perseverance album, each song and the album vibe as a whole. That’s the voice in my head. The title song:

You can’t accept what you’ve been told. Anchored in sin you must reverse your descent.

Declare the weight of the world has yet to claim you, and admit that your faults will not restrain you.

Glimpses of fate bring light to your despair; realize hope isn’t short of your grasp!

Resurrect every dream that you’ve buried alive – and never succumb to the war that you fight in your heart!

Your world is coming apart? Remain steadfast!

Perseverance!

Against all opposition!

Crushing all limitations!

Pure strength through solitude!

Discipline and determination!

Hatebreed – Perseverance

Because we must persevere. That song is a sonic reminder – the music becoming a functional ear-worm, constantly beating important words into my head. That drill sergeant telling me to: “Keep. Showing. Up.”

Recently I found myself drawn to the title track from Hatebreed’s eighth studio album Weight of the False Self:

If you want to make a difference in the world (it means) you have to be different from the world (you see).

No victim mindset, raise your standard. Your true self calls and you must answer!

Lift the weight of the false self crushing you

Lift yourself up from malevolence

Lift the curse of the fatalist haunting you

Lift yourself out from the death grip

Lift the burden upon your shoulders

There’s a challenge that’s begging to be risen to! There’s a voice and it’s your true self calling you. End the cycle, kill all willful self-abuse. Never justify another excuse!

…

Lift the weight of the false self and you will be set free

Hatebreed – The Weight of the False Self

I wasn’t deeply familiar with the concepts of “true self” and “false self”, so I started reading about them, learning more. So THIS is where my imposter syndrome comes from! Learning about the notion of false self has given me much to consider. I’ve found myself doing a lot of inward examination, seeing how I have been living my false self. It’s been sobering… it’s been ego-crushing to learn how I have been living my false self; in fact, I’ve been living a number of false selfs. And while hard to accept that ego-crushing pain, I know it’s good for the false self to be crushed so I can bring my true self forward. It’s like a phoenix: “rebuild and start again, obliterate what makes us weak”.

Saving myself

I am human. I am an imperfect and flawed creature. I am just trying to get through this life (in my own way). I need ways to let off steam. I need ways to draw strength. I find both through hardcore music.

The obvious aggression of the music is motivating and fueling. As you might expect, my gym playlist has numerous songs by hardcore bands, especially Hatebreed. Loud music cranked in my AirPods while I crank out reps with heavy-ass weight? A zone of happy. 😄 Or simply just cranking loud music and air guitaring around the house! There’s motivation, but there’s also release. The music fuels a release of that energy! As a table once said, “I want my anger to be healthy.“

The lyrical content provides another angle. It provokes me to examine myself, finding where I am weak, pushing me to build myself into something stronger. The lyrics provide me with oft-needed reminders, especially as life’s journey has taken me through dark roads. I wanted to quit – really quit – a number of times. I’ve battled depression since I was a teenager. I kept telling myself to just keep showing up. All storms pass.

I hear Harley barking in my ear: “…but you just can’t quit“.

Truly. Hardcore music saved my life.

Same time

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

Yesterday I had a good cry over Sasha. It’s been a few days… gap increasing as time marches on.

I was walking out of the office, prepping for my day, taking the towel off my hair. And for a moment I looked for Sasha to put the damp towel on her head.

She wasn’t there.

And it hurt. A day later it hurts to remember and write this.

I miss my puppy so much.

Miss Potato is here. She’s settled into the household pretty well this past week. She sleeps a lot now. Eating well. A little hiccup with the first poop, but litter box seems to be well in hand now. Very playful. Daughter brought home this tunnel/tube thing – Potato loves it. There’s some sneezing, which we’ll speak with the vet about at her upcoming appointment. All in all good.

She’s very much a people person too. Wants to be with a person. Likes it when a new person enters the room. Flops around to each of us – round robin, likes all the attentions. 😄 Sleeps on my head. Very much cuddle.

Name puns are plentiful. She’s technically a brown shorthair so she’s a (hash) brown potato…

The coexistence of the happy and the sad – that is life.

I need to change up

/ hsoi / 1 Comment

My body is telling me I need to change up on my lifting. I have progressed well here, but now it’s just beating me up. It’s been 7 months and a very good run. I was expecting this would run a little longer, and I think it ultimately will – it’s more about principles and “maximizing my gainz, bro” than a specific routine. I learned a lot too. I do find something to the effective/stimulating reps theory. I need to adjust how I approach “volume” (see below). One thing is that while my muscles respond well to this, my knees and some other joints are getting a little too beat up. It’s frequency (and “volume” as a matter of).

Frequency

The upper-lower-a/b-split that has me doing a 4-day cycle going 3 days a week, thus you hit the same workout (e.g. lower-b) every 9-10 days, but you hit the same body area every 4-5, and because I wanted to “bring up weak points” (shoulders) I did them even more often. Soooo… 

If volume equated over the week is all that matters, i.e. 6 sets once a week results in the same as 3 sets twice a week all other things equal, broadly stated and oversimplified – it seems I can go hard, I just need more recovery time well… going to go to a Push (Mon) Legs (Wed) Pull (Fri) may be the way to go. It’s every 7 days… a little more, but not too much – esp. “if I hit it hard” on its day. And just keep it to it.

Top set(s)

I’m going to change how I work up: generally speaking, every set goes up in weight until I get a set that’s like 5-7 reps. Done. It’s not about working up to a known-beforehand weight for x-reps (my days of percentage-based training; or the 3×8 means: 8,7,6; 8,8,6; 8,8,7; 8,8,8; increase weight; 7,6,4; 8,6,5; etc.. Instead, it’s about working up to a # of reps to true failure. And if I do more than one set, I might drop the weight to make sure I hit the reps. Everything depends on how things feel (which takes some time to learn).

First week: just work up to 5 reps (the bottom of the range); keep doing sets of 5 increasing the weight. Eventually you hit a set where 4-5 is all you can do. You’re done. Work until I truly fail. I expect the work-up will take longer and be more fatiguing than it normally will as I work to figure it out and dial it in. Second week, week 1 gave a rough idea of how much I can do so I can make better jump selections, and I likely will slay last week’s top weight&reps, which is fine because getting dialed in. Make needed adjustments. Third week, should be tighter. Fourth week, rollin’. The goal is as few warm-up sets as needed to get warm, grease the gears, etc – not add fatigue, just get things up and ready for work, and then really good top work set(s). It might take 3 sets, it might take 5, I might do the empty bar 3 times because something wasn’t feeling good. Whatever it takes. The ease-in is fine (“start light, progress slowly”). There will still be novel stimulus.

Overall volume

The grail is maximum benefit from the smallest dose.

Volume does matter, to an extent. You gotta do enough work, but no more (“Stimulate, don’t annihilate.” – Lee Haney). If we look at the stimulating/effective reps model, you need enough stimulating/effective reps. No matter what sort of programming you do, it is ultimately about the # of those to make you grow (we’re talking hypertrophy here). Maximize that! Some Mentzer throwback. That is, volume (that we want) is more about the # of stimulating/effective reps than simply total reps. Always has been, really.

I’m going to pare way back and see what happens. It’ll be like “5 total sets” for back: 1 pulldown to a peak set, 2 incline db rows, 2 kelso shrugs, 2 supinating db spider curls. And 5 for “push”: 1 seated barbell overhead press, 2 machine incline chest press, crab flies, cable lateral raises, some cable for triceps. That’s it. If I need more, I can add more, but let’s start small. And very very intense, like 2×5-7 to failure (0 RIR, 10 RPE). First exercise of the day gets a good work up, others MIGHT get 1 warmup just to get into the groove of the movement.

Selection around very stable exercises, and also some fun. I want to do the OHP because why not: there’s the equipment at the gym, seated will be more stable than standing, and I can move a little weight. The spider curls are because I’ll have been sitting backwards on an incline bench for a while, might as well stay there. It’ll be fun!

HARD work. Less time at the gym, more time between “hitting it”. Let’s see how the body responds to this.

I will not break

/ hsoi / 4 Comments

I will not break.

If I break, it’s my own damn fault.

I have been strained. I mean let’s be real… I might be biggest and strongest I’ve ever been, but muscles are one thing – the mind, the heart, the soul, they are another.

I am older. I am tired. I just can’t – and won’t – put up with as much bullshit, consternation, and drama. And simply enough, I have only so much energy to expend (less than I had when I was a younger man). It’s part of why I made the day job switch, because it was draining me.

I’ve come close to my literal breaking point a few times. I don’t like it. I wouldn’t recommend it. Still, it has happened, and it may well happen again.

I work to strengthen and build my body. I need to work to strengthen my mind and soul just the same. They have been neglected.

When I did my 100 Day Challenge, I was a better me. And I wanted to ensure I kept up my effort with: read, “yoga”, workout, eating (being less fat) because it’s a good thing. 

I continue to struggle with it. I guess it’s day 458?

I haven’t read much

I have studied new things due to the primary day job change. But reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry was something (and I’ve been thankful. Daughter is reading it now at my recommendation. I need to re-read it.) I just finished Brian Slagel’s 2nd book. So that’s something.

As I looked at my shelves, I realized something. I’ve been mostly a non-fiction person in my life. My books reflect that: firearms, lifting weights, programming, some old college texts, martial arts, business and management, leadership, Harry Potter. I mean, it’s good, but I realize that NOW when I read, I want it a little less for strict education and more… not sure how to phrase it. I want to just read, enjoy things from the world. Could be fiction, could be just good non-fiction like maybe a biography or I dunno. Often my reading/book selections are because I’m trying to learn something or improve something. Here… I just want to enjoy, to soak it in. I don’t want it to be heavy and involve engaging my brain because right now I need something that helps me disengage. I mean, reading a good biography I’m sure will spur some thinking, some inspiration… that’s cool. It’s then at least pontificating about something different than my dailies, y’know?

I did clean and rearrange my desk this past weekend (more below). I opted to remove the pile of books because well, why let it be a pile on my desk? Keep the desk clear, put the books in the bookcases – it’s why I bought them. I can go back to it later. I think I need to go to the store and branch out… biography does sound like a good idea of a place to start.

Yoga

Flat flail. I have a Reminder. It pops up on my phone and computers. I just clear it and don’t do it. Why the fuck am I doing that to myself? I sit all fucking day, and it’s killing me. I have started recently standing more, but still you can stand and have shitty posture too. I am trying to keep one cue in mind: “put my shoulder blades into my back hip pockets”. I also noticed some months ago I started to bounce my feet/knees again… that’s not a good sign. I need to catch myself and just… stop doing it. I did that a number of times while writing this up…  I must do these every day. Even just crucifix stretch like 3-5 times.

One thing I need to do is update my primary work environment/desk/computer setup. When we moved I used that as an opportunity to pick up an UpLift desk. But I still held to the laptop primary and external monitor as secondary – legacy and inertia reasons. This is killing me, because the laptop camera vs. room lighting vs. heights vs. typing… it’s too much stuff that’s not… good, especially for posture. So over the weekend I finally redid some things putting my secondary monitor on the arm, floating way out there, a hint below and angled upwards (hits my progressives just right, keeps my head at a mostly neutral but slightly downward angle). Can put arms and desk height a little lower. Camera should arrive soon. I’m just starting to play, will see where I land in terms of setup and equipment, but this should be a good step for my posture.

Need a stool…

Workout

Hitting the gym is life. I lift to maintain my sanity… not improve it, just keep it from being sucked down. It’s all because this is the one true and only thing I have in life that is purely for me (well, Mrs. Hsoi likes the big pecs, which is awesome; but I don’t do it for her, I am doing this for me and her liking it is a wonderful and welcome side-effect).

Dry fire tho? Same Reminder problem – I just keep clearing it. Why the fuck am I doing that to myself? My wrist is still beat up. I was thinking “let’s try shooting my P365 again”, and I still should… but I got down and up from the floor the other day, wrist reminded me it existed. So… I dunno. Still, I dug the LCR .22 thing. I just need to keep doing it so I can actually get as proficient as I can with it. I picked up a second one to lower the barrier of excuses for skipping dry practice.

Eating

Well, I’m still fat. I need to unfuck my diet – my longest and biggest struggle. I see what I need to do, it’s putting it in motion: because time in a day. Hrm. I am working to not get fatter, yet still properly support my day, life, workouts, etc. But yeah…  I have thought about using a meal-prep service or something (ready-made meals, basically). It’s a time situation still for both me and the Mrs. If that’s what it takes, given the totality of my operating context, then ok I guess… So I am going to look at various prep options, because I struggle due to “delivery” issues; if I can work on those, let’s see how it affects.

I’m wanting to finish up a heavy 3rd week at the gym, then reset my training so I play the psychological games with myself… and start anew.

My fault

So yeah… what’s happened is I’ve given up control of my life to outside forces, because they demand so much and I’m a giver. That’s never good for me to give up that control. I of course need to serve numerous outside forces, but I need to be better controlling that flow – it’s (supposed to be) mine to manage. And that means even simple and small things like hitting a crucifix stretch 3-5 times a day. Or sitting with less shitty posture and not bouncing my leg. Or reworking my office for a better environment.

I can also clear things off my TODO list. In fact, I did that just this past weekend. Nothing like writing down a list of things to do, checking them off, and seeing a big list of completed stuff at the end of the day.

Anyways, I need to stop sucking. It’s on me.

Once Upon a Time, There Was a Lady Named Tipper Gore…

/ hsoi

April 29, 1993. John C. Daub. Human Communication 441, James Madison University. Senior-level rhetorical studies course, final paper.

If you know me, you know my primary genre of music is heavy metal. Being a teenager in the 1980s, of course Tipper Gore and the PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center) was a thing.

That sticker is how you knew it was going to be a good album, thank you very much Ms. Tipper.

It also hit near to my heart. One day I came home from school to find all my music (tapes, etc.) gone. Just… gone!

My mom had thrown them out.

I confronted her. Dad chased me off. “YOU BITCH!”. I got one across the jaw (deservedly so). Yeah… not good. Dad did salvage the tapes. All cool in the end.

Mom had watched the PMRC’s video Rising to the Challenge and also read their book. She had to take action to save her son from the evil. And so… here we are… me still basking in the afterglow of the 2023 Milwaukee Metal Fest…

Sorry mom… it’s not a phase. 😂❤️

Back to my time at JMU…

I don’t recall exactly what HCOM 441 was, but it was basically a high-level rhetorical criticism course by Dr. Anne Gabbard-Alley (who I adore and miss). I don’t know why I chose the PMRC/Tipper to be my topic of this paper (and later presentation where I received high marks from Dr. Carol Jablonski – who I learn as I write this, just passed away). But for whatever reason I had at the time, it was significant enough for me to do it (remember: at the time I was aiming for a career in radio and music industry…). And in writing it, you can see that I actually gave Tipper a fair shot… they did generally succeed at their mission. There was some bullshit too, but… just read the paper.

Why share this? Why not. I mean, it’s the writings of a 20-year-old kid. I don’t think it was that bad, but it’s nothing earth-shattering either. Still, most interesting right now is seeing the pearl clutching. We clutched them then, we clutch them now. And how the spectrum, if you will, has shifted.

daub-tippergore-hcom441-19930429Download

Training philosophy changes

/ hsoi

Sometimes we discover and learn new things, which could be a totally new thing (disruptive, novel) or simply an iterative refinement to an existing thing (more likely). Either way, let’s try and see!

Philosophy

In my history of “pumping iron”, Joe Weider was my first influence (as a teenager). In this latest chapter of my lifting, I’d say my modern influences would include Jim Wendler and Paul Carter. Paul’s actually influenced a lot of my training and training philosophy (“Death is winning; do something.”). My two sons are currently on a program which started as Paul’s Guaranteed Muscle Mass, but has evolved – and interestingly the evolution is still based around Paul’s coaching, just what he’s coaching here in 2023 vs Paul of 2014. Paul 2014: Over warm-ups, 50% sets, 350 method, upper lower a/b split. Getting strong, and big. Paul 2023: Effective reps, 2-3 sets 5-8 reps to failure, 4-6 totals sets per muscle group per “training week”. Hypertrophy.

My approach

First understand my operating context: I’m in my early 50’s. I’ve lifted on and off since I was a teenager, this latest run for I think 13 years. I have various little body issues (e.g. a couple minor pec tears, joint wear & tear, can’t really squat any more, etc.). I have to find the right balance between hard stimulating work and what I can recover from. Volume, frequency, how I lift, exercises, set and rep schemes, etc.

I’ve been really working with “effective reps”, and it’s pretty wild. I am seeing some really solid return in my quads, my arms, my delts, pecs, traps. Couple with 3 minute rests. It’s just good. I’m working more hypertrophy stuff these days: Hammer Strength machines, hack squats, cable crossovers, etc. No more singles (the cost-benefit isn’t worth it to me at this point); I really don’t want below 5 reps. My sons tho…

My sons’ approaches

The boys want to be both big and strong. They are happy with their relative strength (hooray for Starting Strength and 5/3/1) and size. Now they want to get bigger, sexier. 😄 So it’s more hypertrophy for them, but… they still want to – and should! – have fun in the gym. Like Youngest is doing 21s because that’s some fun bro shit for your biceps. And we can work around body constraints better, like Oldest is switching to hack squats for a while to give his back a break from squats. And hacks are great for your quads, and the new gym has a Hammer Strength Linear Hack Squat so….

I’m keeping their basic workout structure on Paul’s GMM. Swapping a few exercises (like hack squats for back squats for Oldest; or a similar exercise that leverages machines like instead of barbell row do a HS I-L Row machine for greater stability). Trying to get the boys down to that 5-8 rep range, to failure. And taking advantage of them being younger. Like Youngest is young enough, and he’s eating like 3000-4000 calories a day. He’s… growing. He just PR squatted 315 fast, deep, and easy the other day… never singled above 295, mostly work sets in the mid 200’s for 5-8 reps. Just keep working: you’ll get stronger. Big, strong, and growing in confidence.

Back to my approach

I’m still doing an “Upper-lower A-B” split; same basic thing I’ve been running for some months now, just minor adjustments. Upper press, lower quads, upper pull, lower ham/glute. It’s a 4-day split done over 3 days per week (so yes, 9-10 days between sessions; consequently, I try to add in light stimulus on “other” days in some manner or other).

On Upper Press I was emphasizing shoulders; I still mostly am. I did Hammer Iso-Lat Shoulder Press followed by 30º barbell incline bench press. So I was hitting shoulders first chest second. I do find the 30º bench is more about my shoulders than my upper pecs (in terms of the result I get vs 20º, but it’s still upper pec and if a little shoulder biased that’s fine as shoulder emphasis). After 4 cycles of that, I opted to swap and see how it goes (i.e. try a more upper pec focus): do incline press first, then the shoulder press. I’m actually stronger in this order… rolling with it. But then also, I didn’t feel I was hitting enough pec through the microcycle thus I swapped in “most muscular” cable flies instead of chest presses (just hit the chest, and really hit it).

Current Program

  • Upper A – Press
    • 30º Incline Bench Press
      • Work up to a heavy 5-8. Do another set of 5-8.
    • Hammer Strength (HS) Iso-Lateral (I-L) Shoulder Press
      • One quick warm-up set
      • 2-3×5-8
      • 3rd week, last set is drop set.
    • Incline DB Y-Raise
      • 2×5-8
      • 3rd week, last set ends in partial burns.
    • 1-arm neutral grip cable pushdowns
      • 2×5-8
    • Hammer Strength MTS Row
      • 1 warmup
      • 3×5-8
  • Lower A – Quads
    • Hammer Strength Linear Hack Squat
      • Work up to a heavy 5-8. Do another set of 5-8
    • Hammer Strength (HS) Iso-Lateral (I-L) Leg Extension
      • 3×5-8
      • 3rd week, last set ends in iso-hold.
    • Lunges
      • Nothing big, just like 2×10-15 each leg. Bodyweight only. It’s more about moving my body & bending my knees. Balance.
    • Seated Calf Raises
      • warm up to 3×5-8.
      • 3rd week, last set can end with some partial bounces.
    • Upright Rows
      • warm up to something heavy for 2×5-8
  • Upper B – Pull
    • HS I-L Front Lat Pulldown
      • Work up to a heavy 5-8. Do another set of 5-8
    • HS I-L Row
      • One quick warmup set.
      • 2-3×5-8
    • “Lean-back” lat pulldowns (pronated grip)
      • 2×5-8
    • EZ-bar Cable Curls
      • 2×5-8
    • “Most Muscular” Cable Flies
      • 1-2 warmups
      • 3×5-8
  • Lower B – Hams/Glutes
    • RDL
      • Work up to 2×5-8
    • 45º Hypers/Raises (with weight)
      • 3×5-8
    • Lying Leg Curl
      • Work up to 1×5-8
    • Standing Calf Raises
      • 1-2 warmups
      • 3×5-8
    • Close-grip Swiss/Football bench press
      • Work up to something @8 RPE for 5-8.

Rest 3 minutes between all work sets. Warmups can go faster (it’s warmups).

I wave it. 1st “week”: take it easy (easy is still heavy, still effective reps, but maybe @9). 2nd week, hard (@10). 3rd week hard and heavy, adding intensity techniques. 4th week, back to week 1. Generally see no need for planned deloads (if I need the break, I take it; or sometimes travel/work causes me to take a break, which I just roll with because I know I won’t lose anything and I’ll be better for the break.)

Everything has a reason. I’m really wanting to grow my “width”, so shoulders. I have a narrow skeletal structure, narrower shoulders for a typical person of my height. So wider it is. I still need some pec and triceps stim. I still like doing some sort of barbell work, and it’s fun to do barbell inclines for a couple sets of 5-8. The fixed incline benches at this new gym are 30º, and I find my pecs respond better to the John Meadows 20º. But I am noticing that now doing inclines before shoulder press that my upper pecs are responding some. And the 30º does hit my delts a bit more, which is totally jiving with my shoulder emphasis. The incline y-raises, 2-3×5-8 to failure are money for my delts and traps. A little triceps (doesn’t really matter, just novel). Then a little bit of back work because split, volume accumulation “over the week”, etc. I really can’t squat any more (SS Yoke maybe…), but hack squats are cool. My quads have always been weak, so it’s great to get to focus on them. I like the resistance curve on the HS I-L leg extension – trashes the quads nicely. A couple sets of lunges because it’s good for me (nothing heavy duty, like 2×10 each leg). Upright rows because they are awesome and it annoys Chuck Haggard. 😉 Then back… because back is great. The Hammer Strength Iso-Lateral pulldown and row machines are fun to play with – I did row then pulldown, now trying pulldown then row. The “lean back” pulldowns is basically just wide-grip-face-pulls but a bit more stable. Just trying to hit all the back angles for like 2-3×5-8 each. Cable curls are a good squeeze. And the flies – the rule is to have a little “push “work, but I opted this cycle to isolate with pec flies because I think my delts and tris get a lot of stim, and my pecs need a little more overall (over the week). “Most musclar” – think that pose, think the way there’s a “line of pull” in the tension of that pose. That. Set up the cables to replicate that line of pull. I’ve noticed I’m growing some hams and glutes, which I am happy about so I just keep working them: one hip, one knee (I miss the seated leg curl, but lying is fine). The weighted hypers (with barbell hanging from arms) are a smaller ROM but if you do it right it’s killer on the “upper glutes” (it’s not a lift, it’s a contraction; pushing the hips through). More calf work (regular calf work pays off). And then I’m wanting to dink around with some sort of push exercise here, and the football/swiss bar as a a close-grip bench press is I think cool – just have to remember to keep my elbows tucked and not let it turn into a pec exercise (and risk a tear… why I don’t really flat bench any more).

I do find merit in the notion of effective reps. I’m finding I need less “total number of sets (and reps)”. I am seeing and feeling the hypertrophy. I’m still dialing in exactly what I need, but it’s less than I thought. Like 2 sets of 5-8 reps 10 RPE, 0 RIR, true failure. Yeah… it jives.

Anyways… this is what I’m enjoying right now. Trying to lift heavy, but about to back off and get stricter and cycle again.

Now if I could just stop eating like an asshole… I’m tired of being fat.

Brisket for Mother’s Day (Trial #6)

/ hsoi

I’ve been smoking more briskets since I got a Traeger grill. I’ve been keeping track of what I’m doing and the results, iterating until I get something I like and can work with.

For Mother’s Day 2023, Mrs. Hsoi wanted a brisket. Of course I obliged.

Backstory

This is not my first brisket, but it’s my first time (in a long time?) writing about this. So I want to give some backstory. If you don’t care, scroll down.

I live in Texas. Brisket is king of BBQ. I have smoked many a brisket on past setups: my heavily-modified Weber kettle, a modified New Braunfels “Hondo”, even the Weber Genesis 330 (to poor results – chips pale in comparison to stick). I resisted the idea of electric and/or pellet grills and smokers for a long time. Then while working for Oven Bits, I helped bring the original Traeger “Wi-Fire” product to market (a short stint on their iOS app, plus firing up the first “water through the pipes” prototype). For a long time I couldn’t justify the price. When we moved out of Austin, for my first birthday in the new house I bought a Traeger.

I picked the Ironwood 650. I didn’t want to go for broke because I wasn’t sure if I was sold on this notion, so no Timberline (top) for me. I also wanted Super Smoke, so no Pro line (bottom) for me. Ironwood (mid) it is then. I always loved the notion of “Super Smoke” since we got the first controller prototype and saw that Super Smoke button. 🔥 I wasn’t sure tho if 650 or 885. Buddy of mine from work is married with 4 kids – he sent me a pic of his 650-sized Traeger full of burgers. OK, I could do that. I did that, and now I have an 885 for more square footage. I mean, if it was just the wife and me, a 650 would be fine. I do like the size of the 885 tho, because well… you really shouldn’t put things all the way to the edges of the grate, because then drip lands not on the tray but the barrel, and fires can be a thing. Ask me how I know.

I must say… I do love the Traeger grill.

I agree the smoke flavor isn’t as deeply intense as stick. However, it’s present and IMHO good (enough). I like that I get wood flavoring without the strong bitters. I find this complements the meat MUCH better. If you have good meat, I find with good pairing this allows much more complementary work between the wood/smoke and food/meat.

I have good meat. I buy from Diamond A Ranch Beef in Dime Box, Texas. I have bought from many a butcher, store, and local rancher. I have never experienced beef as good as Diamond A. The intramuscular marbling, the texture. Just unbeatable. I buy a side.

When it comes to pellets, I’ve learned something. Texas BBQ is in part what it is because of the oak wood used. Texas has mesquite and pecan, but oak is king for BBQ. Around here it’s post oak in specific. But oak in pellet form? Not so much. Also Mrs. Hsoi usually doesn’t jive with mesquite because it can overpowering. In pellet form? It’s not that overpowering and is one of the stronger performers. Hickory too as a solid all-around pellet. I did see that B&B makes a post oak pellet, so I think I’d like to try that to see if there’s any difference in using post oak in specific.

But hey… I love the Traeger. I love the fueling. I love the controlled temperature. I do find the ability to monitor and control via my phone to be useful. I love the results. I love the ability to turn out pretty consistent product.

Trial #6

I haven’t done a lot of briskets on my Traeger because they are expensive. I have done a bunch of other types of meat tho, such as picanha, ribs, turkey, many steaks, tri-tip… I like keeping track of what I do so I can hone in a technique. What you see here is iterative improvements/changes from the prior 5 trials. So let’s see what comes from #6.

Started with a 14 lb brisket from Diamond A Ranch Beef. Full brisket. Took it out of the freezer Friday morning, sat on the counter all day to defrost. By evening it was defrosted so into the fridge it went. Saturday around noon pulled it out. Seasoned:

  • Trimmed excess fat, silver skin. Clean it up. Came in just under 12 lb.
  • Wet the entire surface of the brisket with Worcestershire sauce – don’t drown it, just make sure the surface is damp. It’s more a wetting agent than a seasoning (but if I gotta wet it, might as well season it vs say plain water).
  • Apply dry rub:
    • kosher salt, 3/4 tsp per pound
    • black pepper, 1/2 tsp per pound
    • smoked paprika, 1/4 tsp per pound
  • Wrap in plastic wrap. Put back into the fridge until cooking time. (in this case, 12-15 hours or so)

Started cooking around midnight. Weather was rainy (it’s been rainy, and thus humid), 71º.

  • Traeger Ironwood 885
    • NB: On Saturday, I took the time to clean the Traeger (vacuum out ash, clean grate, dump drip bucket, etc.). A clean grill yields better results and is safer to operate. Ask me how I know.
  • Traeger Texas Beef Blend pellets
    • A blend of mesquite, oak, and pecan.
    • I don’t think they make this any more. I’m using my supply up.
    • If I had to pick one, I’d say go mesquite.
  • Took the brisket out of the fridge, set on counter.
  • Start up the Traeger at 200º
    • Super Smoke ON
  • Once grill temp settles, remove the brisket from the plastic and set on grate.
    • Grate is in the upper position.
    • Fat side up
  • Insert probe (make sure it goes into meat, not fat)
  • Set timer for first checkpoint.
  • Close the lid and let it do its thing.

I usually like doing my first checkpoint at 3 hours. However, because I was attempting to interleave sleep, it went 4 hours. This is the first time I crack the lid since it went on. It looks good, a little dry (4 hours). So I get out the Worcestershire, sprinkle it all over the top, use a silicone brush to spread it around to coat/cover (didn’t flip and do the bottom – not worried about that; didn’t want to lose any more heat than I had to, nor disturb the meat too much). Closed the lid.

Meat temp was about 130-140º depending.

Around 7:00am started raining hard. Also hit about 150º and seemed the stall was starting.

Stall

It got to about 9:30am, only like 153º or so. Stalled out. I do like to sit at the stall for a little bit – it’s good for it.

So after about 9.5 hours I wrapped it in butcher paper and put it back on.

Turned the Traeger up to 275º (and Super Smoke automatically switched off).

Finish

I pulled it around 12:30pm. I had a probe alarm set for 195º and it hit it. Used about half a hopper of pellets start to finish.

Left it wrapped on the kitchen counter for a little over an hour. No peaking.

Separated the point and the flat. Cut into the flat.

It was quite good. I am upset I didn’t take more pictures, but I know why! It was just too good. I just wanted to savor the food – it was focused on food, not pictures of it.

Deep smoke ring. Flavor from the wood was evident, yet the superb beef flavor shined strong. Tender and moist – intramuscular marbling is fantastic. Just so happy here.

Take-homes

  • I had been forgetting the Worcestershire sauce. I remembered this time. It makes a difference.
  • Texas Beef Blend is really good.
    • Mesquite in pellet has turned out to be one of my favorites.
  • I do like my rub. It’s simple, it works.
  • Landing on 200º Super Smoke, then wrapped at 275º. That’s working well for not taking for years, making it tender, keeping it moist. Hitting stall maybe 6-7 hours in, about 9 hours in wrap it, about 12-13 hours total.
    • Curious how much the weather played a part (70-something and humid)

All in all quite happy with the results.

I think if there’s anything I’d like to poke at next time would be pure mesquite pellets, or if I get those B&B post oak to try that. It would be a slight change. Plus, being only slight it would allow trial #7 to see about ability to replicate results.

A small upgrade to the Ruger LCR .22

/ hsoi

All the better to see you with, my dear… to better watch the rectangle become a square.

While the white ramp from the factor isn’t a bad front sight, the white isn’t the most contrasting of colors against all backgrounds. Fluorescent orange on the other hand…

My J-frames have orange ramps, so I’m hip to the concept and it was my first thought. But I did want to see what options existed in the aftermarket for the LCR. In the end my search didn’t yield much that I liked: made of plastic, sharp edges ripe for snagging, etc. And after some talking with Darryl Bolke and Rhett Neumayer to see if I missed any products, I ended up back where I started going with the orange ramp.

Used an appliance touch-up paint marker to lay down a white undercoat (a couple coats). Then a couple coats of Testors orange fluorescent paint. Done.

And now when aiming it’s much easier to see… not just see the front sight, but see when the rectangle becomes a square…

Why the LCR .22 LR?

/ hsoi / 4 Comments

In response to my article Why I’m carrying a Ruger LCR .22 LR, commenters were curious why in particular the LCR .22 LR?

Listening to those smarter than me

When I hear guys like Chuck Haggard, Darryl Bolke, Rhett Neumayer talk… I listen. Much good heard about the LCR.

Novelty

I don’t have lots of revolvers, but every one I have is a Smith. (well, there’s that Cimarron I have for demoing single-action revolvers to students; which I got a Texas Jack’s in Fredericksburg). So to get a Ruger was nice for the simple variety.

Smiths

Yeah, the 351 C and the 43 C. I wanted to try the LCR. I have an LCP II and… it’s cool but too small for me to operate well.

Plus the Ruger’s cheaper.

Scuttlebutt is the Ruger’s more reliable.

Smiths I want to care for; I want to hand them down. The Ruger, given how it’s built I’m happy to subject it to the sweat of the Texas summer… it’s a tool.

.22 LR

Why not?

I gave up being a caliber snob.

Not everyone is me. Not everyone is you.

Cool. You can sub-2 Bill Drill with your Roland. Congratulations, your dick is much bigger than arthritic grandma’s. 🙂

My change of mind was my aging Realtor. The job of Realtor can be dangerous: intentionally taking strangers into other people’s homes… why should grandma with the weak and arthritic hands not have SOME chance of defending herself? She’s not out to go hunting, she just doesn’t want to die at the hands of some dude in a strange house, y’know? If all she could manage was a little .22 Derringer, fuck it – it’s better than nothing!

It’s one reason I’m glad Texas removed the minimum caliber restriction for getting a License to Carry (LTC). I understand why they that existed; still the side-effect was it shut out people like my Realtor. So I’m glad it was removed.

If self-defense is a human right, she deserves every opportunity just as much as the young and able-bodied.

But yes, I get it. .22 LR kinda sucks. Still, like Tam said:

Putting a few into a dude’s snotbox at three to five yards is bound to have an effect, rimfire or not.

Tamara Keel, Practical Popguns

Modern .22 LR ammo has come a long ways. I’ve been shooting almost exclusively Federal Punch, and it’s been mostly trouble-free. A couple hard extractions, but that’s all (I probably need to clean my cylinders). Punch passes the FBI tests. I have shot Velocitor. It runs alright, I just have only so much and it’s scarce… not enough to run through to build up and do. I can get lots of Punch, and even practice with that load. There’s also something in the bullet construction that differentiates Punch (look at things other than weight…).

I do want to practice. I need to practice. Dot Torture is good. 5^5. The Wizard. Passing my own Minimum Competency Assessment. 3 Seconds or Less. Start there.

So…

Everything’s a trade-off somewhere, somehow.

For my context, this provides me the right balance of things. The Underwear Gun is a thing. I’m certain down the road context will change and so my choices may (need to) change as well. Between now and then I will learn.

I have been playing with the PHLster Enigma Express for the LCR… and let me just say, this is actually comfortable…