Learnings from the Wichita Falls stabbing

WICHITA FALLS (KFDX/KJTL) — A man, who Wichita Falls Police said got into an argument with a store clerk and then stabbed a customer who tried to intervene, is in custody.

Full Story

There is much to learn from this story.

Let’s start with the opening line: got into an argument with the clerk and stabbed a customer who chose to intervene. As Tom Hogel says to me, “No good deed goes unpunished.” I addressed this topic in last week’s Personal Tactics Skills class. Intervention isn’t always the right answer; in fact, most times it’s the wrong answer. I understand the urge, the drive to respond – especially when you see an injustice committed. I’m not saying to not respond. What I am saying is you need to know where your line is drawn. What are you willing to die for? Are you willing to die for a rando store clerk? Maybe you are, maybe you are not. This is a personal decision. I don’t care where you draw your line (it’s your line, not mine) – I just want you to ensure you have a clear, well-defined, articulable line. If you don’t have one right now, you need to get one right now. Because if you intervene, you risk death – what are you willing to die for?

When WFPD officers arrived at the 7-Eleven at 2012 Grant just after 3 a.m. Wednesday morning, March 1, they said the victim was holding napkins and applying pressure to a bleeding wound in her neck.

7-Eleven – gas stations are the urban water hole, because everyone – good citizen and bad – needs gas for their car.

3 a.m.

Stabbed in the neck. Her neck. Medical skills are important.

She told them she was buying items when [Alejandro Villanueva (27)] came into the store and began arguing with the clerk. The victim and a witness said Villanueva left, then came back and began arguing with the clerk again.

Arguing. That’s not a good sign.

Leaving, then returning to continue arguing. That’s an even worse sign.

Why did he leave, and why did he come back? What did he perhaps get? And if he was arguing, coming back… why is he doing that? High tempers. My dudes, these are signs of trouble – what good can come of this? Big red alarm bells should be going off in your head.

Time to go. Drop your groceries and leave. Be prepared for stupid to go down (and that you might get caught up in it, like it or don’t).

The witness said he left a second time, and returned once more and began yelling at the clerk.

Leaving a second time, and returning a third to continuing arguing. That’s the worst sign.

Why are you still there? It’s either voyeurism or just frozen with disbelief – no plan of what to do, not seeing it for what it is. Third time’s a charm right? Believe what you are seeing. Why it is happening you can try to figure out later (and realize you may never know why); right now it doesn’t matter why it’s happening – it’s happening and you need to act.

The witness said the customer stepped in and told Villanueva to leave, and he began to yell at her. The customer said she told him if he did not calm down and stop confronting the clerk and leave, she would go get her gun in her car.

When in the history of telling people to “just calm down” has anyone ever calmed down? 🙃

If someone has demonstrated themselves not just irrational but irrational and irate, please believe them! Your attempt to apply rational logic and behavior will not be met with the response you are hoping for.

Then he turns his attention to her, increasing aggression. More customer begging and pleading – she doesn’t want to shoot him, she doesn’t want to hurt him. I can understand that, just the approach being taken isn’t (and wasn’t) effective for her to obtain the result she’s hoping for (expecting?). As the late Dr. William Aprill said, “They are not like you.”

A gun. First, why is it in the car? Your car is not a holster. Second, why it is not on her person? A gun you must retrieve is often of little use.

Most of all, why did you do this? The (threat of) introduction of a gun into the equation escalated the situation. She was hoping the threat would end it, but there’s always someone willing to take you up on your offer…

She said Villanueva came at her and began pushing her with his chest, and she pushed him away but he kept coming at her, and that is when she felt a sharp pain in her neck and fell back into the door and ran outside.

I’m sorry that happened. It was preventable. However, everyone has to have a first time, a time to learn. Let’s all learn from this.

Police located a truck matching the descriptions in the 1000 block of Wenonah and found Villanueva standing by it and took him into custody. They said he had a large folding knife with a brown handle on his person.

Officers said he told them he had been in fear for his life because the victim said she had a gun.

Interesting angle there, son. Now, as a “reasonable man”, I would say Ability, Opportunity, and Jeopardy are NOT present if for nothing else the knowledge he possessed about the gun was it was in the car. She didn’t have the gun on her person so it was not an immediate threat, and if she went to retrieve it he would have a window of escape. So nice try son, but it fails AOJ on that alone.

Still, it’s paints an interesting twist. You might feel yourself the “good guy” and them the “bad guy”, but good people can make mistakes, and it could wind up costly. Rare is the self-defense incident that goes according to your notions and fantasies.

I’m sorry this happened to the store clerk and customers. They paid a small price – we can ensure that price was not paid in vain by learning and growing from the experience.

Day 333

It’s Day 333 of my 100 Day Challenge.

It’s not been good. There’ve been a number of things in life and simply put… life’s been tough.

I feel I’m climbing out. Returning to the discipline of this challenge is helping.

Read every day

I’ve really fallen off here. However, some things are changing that will soon have me reading more.


I’ve gotten back on this. In fact, I’m writing this post standing at my desk (instead of the default sitting). I wrote out a more complete program for myself, which includes some things on the floor for my lower back.

I’ve also made a rule to myself that I cannot skip anything in the routine. There’s nothing in the routine tho about time or sets-and-reps. If all I can do is a couple seconds in each position that’s fine so long as I get everything moved, stretched, opened up. Of course more time, more sets-reps, making sure I really lean into stretches to actually improve range is all ideal and what I should work to do, but sometimes life’s what it is. Still, I have to do it. If I can do it more than once a day, even better.

I attribute this alone to helping me get to a better place. My body feels better, more awake and alive.


Gym? No problem. I took a deload off, but it’s all just normal good stuff here.

Dry fire? Live fire? Not much… the toughness of life got me out of things. But TacCon23 is in a few weeks and I teach this weekend – that will help. I’ve been enjoying getting back out on the range, away from the computer, having my mind working on other problems. The wrist issues that continue to plague me haven’t helped either, but the LCR .22 experiment is fun.


This has been regression. It’s my classic problem of food being comfort, falling back into old habits.

One place I’ve been long unhappy with myself about is my afternoon shake. It’s just 60g of whey, it’s fast and easy to do – and that’s the thing! There’s no excuse for me not getting it down. But yet it happens. Why? Because of day job realities (e.g. wall-to-wall Zoom meetings). It’s not great because I have noticed my body is sensitive to it: missing it leads to missed gainz. I’ve recently been wondering how much bigger/better I would be today if I had been perfectly strict about my food intake over the past 10-15 years. Ah well… second best time is now. Well, this is like the bazillionth time, but try again I must. And so, I’ve been good about the whey and the difference is noticeable. Get your protein in every day!


I wasn’t doing well, but my monthly reminder to do a “100 day reflection” came up. I’m glad I set that, to keep the momentum going. It’s interesting that 100 days wasn’t enough to really make habit changes – it sowed a good seed tho, and I continue. I just cannot expect perfection, just improvement.

No B.S.

The other day someone told me a big reason people jive with me is because I keep it real.

There is no other way to be.

For… ever in my website bio I’ve said this:

I’m not one for bullshit. I do my best to not bullshit people, I don’t like to be bullshitted, and I generally don’t put up with bullshit. Life’s too short for games and bullshit. Be honest and straight with people.


I blame my Dad

I grew up the son of a politician – I still am.

He started in politics when I was 4 years old. It was from age 8 to 16 when Dad was a member of the US House of Representatives, but from 4-8 he was still running and campaigning (lost before he won). So from age 4 through graduating high school I had to do the “political family” thing.

Shooting TV commercials for Dad’s campaigns was cool to young me – all the cameras, “I’m going to be on TV!!” – until I had to act. It all felt so… fake, so “put-on-a-show” to me. Here we are supposed to show the world we’re this perfect happy family, when my Mom was just yelling at me, Dad was steamed, the kids were cranky… then the Director yells “ACTION!” and it’s all smiles and happy. SMILE DAMNIT! BE HAPPY!

It was revolting to me. It was such… lies. Lies to the world.

I’m sure that planted the seed.


People tell me I talk a lot. 

I can.

It’s not that I’m verbose – in the sense that I “run on” (tho I can).

It’s that I desire to share information.

I may “run on”, I may post a wall of text; afterwards you tend to not have questions. You are also filled with more information – historical, contextual – which enables you to make better, deeper, more understanding decisions and interpretations down the line. 

George Carlin once said something like “A soundbite. Just a bite. A morsel. Malnourishment.”

I want you to be nourished.

Things are changing

This is life. Life is ever-changing. It is in how we respond to change.


Oldest has a new job, and thus a new schedule. As a result, Youngest is affected too.

The boys peaked out well on 5/3/1. I opted to change-up and introduce them to more bodybuilding stuff, to expand their knowledge. So I put them on Paul Carter’s Guaranteed Muscle Mass, with some minor modifications (e.g. machine rows for bb rows). It’s a good program, fit their 3x/week schedule, introduces a bunch of new things to them. They’ve done well with it. They’ve actually been progressing faster than I expected: I up the weight expecting reps to drop, but both weight and reps increase! But it’s good: start light, progress slowly, y’know?


Youngest is going to be simple: keep on the same basic program but with some modifications. For example, do the over-warmup, then instead of a AMRAP + 50% just do 2-3×5-8 RPE 9. Going to work on getting reps into the 5-8/6-10/8-12 ranges, depending on the movement. I also threw in a set of 21s on Upper A day because a little bro-fun. 🙂

Oldest. Providing him with consistent rhythm to his days would be optimal. I’m looking at a 5x/week bro-split: legs, chest, back, shoulders, arms. Each day will be 3 exercises: first is the heavy for 2-3×5-8; second is supportive for 3×6-10; third rounds it out for 3×8-12. For example, back would row, pulldown, hyperextensions; chest would barbell incline, flat db press, dips. Get it done in 45-60 minutes. His choice to do it before or after work, either way he can get in and get out. Consistent days.


I didn’t wear wrist wraps when I was pressing the other day. My wrists have been feeling good, but something about the other day while doing the machine wide chest press… and so my wrist is feeling funny again. Sigh. It’s a hard call, because I don’t want to always rely upon the wraps, but it’s become evident it will be a problem if I do not. Probably just like I used to with the belt: only on the top/hard/heavy sets, and then always on those sets.

Regarding Oldest: I’ve never had to program for this sort of scenario before (5 days, < 60 minutes) – because I’ve only done programming for me and I’ve not had such a schedule. This is an interesting challenge and stretch of my knowledge. I think what I have come up with will work, or at least will be a good MVP. We’ll see how the first couple weeks go.

Slight adjustments

I’m entering meso 2-3. I’m seeing what is working and what is not. It’s good to explore the new equipment: some is useful, some not as much, some is great.


Love the hack squat. I suck at it, and only one way to not suck at it…

I like the Hammer Strength Iso-Lateral Row (plate-loaded) – good strong, stable, general row (I am using top-handles, pronated grip).

I do like how the HS calf machines have angled footrest because I don’t have to readjust my footing.

There’s something about the HS Iso-Lateral Leg Extension that is great – I think it’s where the weight is in the path/curve, especially at extension for the squeeze.


Some of the press machines don’t line up well for me. I keep playing around with placements and settings.

I don’t feel I’m getting much from the machine preacher curls.

Cable Y-raises don’t seem to be doing much for my delts.


I’m going to keep meso 2-3 as written, adding in some intensity techniques. Any changes will come in 3-1.

Upper A: Push emphasis. Keep HS IL Shoulder Press (so long as my shoulders are ok with it). Probably drop the HS Iso-Lateral Incline Press in favor of 30º barbell inclines. I want to get some chest work, but I have to remember I’m wanting to bias delts more in this macrocycle. Drop cable y’s in favor of the incline db y’s – those I seemed to respond to well. Then swap the heavy HS IL Row today for the HS selectorized row (from Upper B day) for 3×8-12.

Lower A: no real change, as I think it’s working well. Hacks are death. I love the leg extension machine.

Upper B: pull emphasis. Make the HS IL Row the opener heavy movement (instead of the selectorized, which is moved to Upper A as mentioned above). I wonder if I switch to a really light but squeezy db preacher curl if that might be fun (instead of the machine preacher). Iso-Lateral Wide Chest is fun.

Lower B: TBD based on how my body is feeling.

So, not huge changes really. I just am finding where things lie and how stuff works for me.

Also, finding allowances and flow for the new gym.

Radio Daze : 17 – Shedding Skin (I’m writing again)

I started my blog Stuff from Hsoi – writing about whatever interests me, and maybe you February 4, 2009 – 14 years ago. Not surprisingly, the second post to the blog was So why do this?

I didn’t want to blog because I thought it rather arrogant to think that anyone would give a rat’s ass what I have to say. I still think that. I also know that once you put something out online, it’s extremely difficult to make it go away. In real life if you make a mistake or say something you shouldn’t have, eventually it’s lost into the air and life goes on. But if you screw up online, it can stick around for the rest of your life. What doesn’t help is the world has just enough mean people in it that take great joy in digging up dirt and holding your past mistakes over you. Well, let ’em cast their stones.

I still think that.

Or as I later summed it up:

So what will be in this blog? Whatever the hell I want to write about.

It started as a place to ramble about stuff, but over time writing became a creative outlet. I don’t think I’m a great writer, but I have a Bachelors in human communication, and I enjoy observing how people respond to what I write, including how I write it. The communication cycle is fascinating. The blog’s been a good creative outlet for me in both writing and observing. Humans are… funny creatures.

At one point I had to step away from the blog, and then blogging kinda faded away. I did keep Sunday Metal going for quite a while, but even that I let run out just a little while ago because I was tired and going through some shit. It’s some work to make Sunday Metal happen, including requiring a bit of spark or inspiration as many of my work-sessions of “let’s queue up 6 months of Sunday Metal” desired a theme like “all live” or “all thrash” or “all female-fronted or “all hair” or “shit that’s metal and I don’t really listen to them but they are metal and this is Sunday Metal and I need a content theme so…” or the ever popular “whatever rabbit hole YouTube’s algorithm sends me down”. I just didn’t have the inspiration, gumption, nor cycles to sit down and queue more stuff up. But hey, I published this “Radio Daze” series on a Sunday….

Shedding skin

Hsoi’s Radio Daze started when I was packing my office back in Austin Fall 2020 preparing for our move to Bryan. I dug out a bunch of old memories I’d been lugging around since undergrad and high school. I whittled things down, keeping only a few precious things. I found all of these posters and swag from my radio days. I took pictures of the interesting ones then threw out the posters. I also gave all of my physical music collection (CDs, cassettes, vinyl) to a friend who I knew would give it a good home. As I was packing my office, I realized my office represented essentially a 30-year old me – not the me of now 20 years later. I don’t regret throwing stuff out – physically and psychologically. We shed our skin when we grow.

As I took the pictures, I knew I wanted to blog about them; that’s where it started, wanting to write about the posters. Well, the posters are naturally tied to my time in radio, which is tied to my time in a band. As I wrote an explanation of a poster, it necessarily required additional information for context and understanding. Which made me write about radio or the band, which made me realize the article was going to be too long. So I wrote and edited with the mind of having short single-topic “memories”. That is, it’s not an article or a post – it’s me recounting a memory. My goal is to paint a sufficient picture in the mind of the reader, as eloquently as I am able. I may fail, I may paint an incorrect or poor picture, but I try nonetheless. I strive to help you see AND feel my memory.

It started as a handful of posters. It turned into 18 “memories”. While it wasn’t my original plan, I appreciate just letting it naturally evolve – I think this is better. It’s been a lot of work, especially queuing 18 articles for posting and social media. What’s helped is I have a better outlook in my life, driving more things towards completion. It feels great to get out from the weight of my TODO list, that forever ebbs and flows but I’m seriously getting out of the ebbs and into serious flow, getting ahead of the current. I’m not quite there yet, but I have a better drive these days and shit’s getting done. So just like my black belt may be semi-worthless (or all worthless?), it was more about driving to get it done – showing up, putting in the work, getting it done. Satisfaction.

Even if my writing sucks, I’m still going to write and (probably) publish it. This blog is about what interests me, and maybe you.

Thank you for reading.

Mr & Mrs Hsoi, Sep 2022

Radio Daze : 16 – Denouement

I only spent 4 years in radio, much grounded in college radio. But it was also off-beat because it was metal – if there’s any genre consistently shunned, it’s metal. But that’s ok – we prefer it that way. We are the outcasts, the rest of you are poseurs. It was short, and I didn’t get deeply into it, but what I did get into was fun.

WXJM, Q101, Froggy99, WHVY, radio shows, live shows, commercials, promos, on-sites, sex, drugs, rock-and-roll, wine, women, and song. When you’re young and indestructible, stupid and stumbling through life… it was a great time.

I do remember the days fondly, and I’m happy to keep them a memory.

Radio Daze : 15 – Dead Horse

If you know the Texas metal scene, you know Dead Horse

I didn’t move to Texas until after my time as Metal Director at WXJM. So I had no idea who Dead Horse was.

Peaceful Death & Pretty Flowers came across my desk and it blew my mind. Unlike anything I had heard before or since. You just have to experience the sonic onslaught – there’s no way to describe it and do it justice.

I still have an old school Dead Horse t-shirt, which is very smedium on me today. If I wear it, it’s only to select shows. It never fails to elicit multiple random encounters, of another concert-goer stopping to point at the shirt; we share a bonding moment.

We’re after the same thing…

Radio Daze : 14 – Spinal Tap

If you don’t know about Spinal Tap, correct yourself immediately. In 1992 they reunited and released Break Like the Wind. A lot of silly promotional materials accompanied the release, and working at WXJM I got my share of them.

The strangest of which was a colander… I tried to keep that one, but it was given away. It annoyed me at the time because the promo materials were sent to me, in my name, for me to decide the future of. Some of the ‘XJM clique now cared what was going on with Cliffy and barged over things – including the fate of the colander. My time at WXJM taught me a lot about “open-minded progressives”.

I did get a t-shirt, a fake backstage pass, and… a diploma. Bitch School is a song from the album, that harkens back to the “smell the glove” references. You just have to watch the movie. It was all silly and good fun.