Me

Rangemaster’s Defensive Shotgun – AAR

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I spent yesterday as a student in Rangemaster’s Defensive Shotgun course, hosting at KR Training. This is my After Action Report (AAR).

Background

I’m mixed on the use of a shotgun for self/home/office defensive purposes. While there’s no questioning the brutality and lethality of a shotgun, there are numerous limitations of the platform. I still tend to lean towards an AR for home defense, but I’ve softened my stance towards the shotgun. Consequently, I’ve wanted to learn more about the “fighting shotgun”. I picked up Magpul’s Art of the Dynamic Shotgun. Last time Tom Givens was in town I picked up a copy of his new Defensive Shotgun DVD. Naturally, when I heard Tom was coming back to town to teach a shotgun course, I had to take the class. Not just because of the subject material, but I hate missing opportunities to train with Tom.

The Class

This is a “level 1” course. Everyone in the class was familiar with shooting to various levels, so there wasn’t a need to get rudimentary about all things shooting, but the class was focused on shotgun background and shotgun skillset foundations. Note: the skills presented were in the context of fighting shotgun use. This was not about sport, no clays, no skeet, no duck nor dove hunting. It’s important to understand that context.

The background part was quite useful. Tom covered history of the shotgun, different types of shotguns, different types of ammo, nomenclature, modifications and accessories. Tom’s been around and involved in so much for so long, and while he may not always focus on history, if you pay attention to the things he says and the experiences he tells about, you wind up with a greater understanding of how the gun world came to be what it is today. This is part of the reason why taking classes with Tom Givens is so worth the time and money. Sure this isn’t “tactical”, but it’s good and important to know.

The other main portion of the class was focused on basic skills of manipulation. We all know how to shoot a shotgun and make a hit, that’s not a problem. Where is the problem? Manipulating the shotgun. That was the focus of the skills portion of the class.

We worked dry for a while, on basics of stance, ready positions, moving from ready to a solid firing position. One of the biggest things we had to learn was how to deal with a pump-action shotgun. See, we’re all mostly handgunners, and whether you shoot a semi-automatic or a revolver, we press the trigger and the gun goes bang… then we don’t have to do anything to chamber the next round in order for us to make the gun go bang again. With a pump shotgun, we have work to do! So when we shoot, pressing the trigger is NOT the end of our work cycle, we must also pump the gun and THEN we’re done. The mantra for the day was “click-chunk-chunk” (or “boom-chunk-chunk”) — I named it the Tom Givens Waltz. That’s what has to happen every time you fire that pump-action shotgun: click-chunk-chunk, click-chunk-chunk, click-chunk-chunk. That must become habit. Chances are you won’t have to fire again, but then there’s a chance you might — you need to keep the gun running and ready for action.

Keeping the gun running is really what it’s all about. So we have to learn how to keep the gun well-fed since the magazine doesn’t hold much ammo. Shoot one? load one. Shoot two? load two. Techniques for keeping the gun loaded and ready to go were taught, and you do come to appreciate shell carriers on the shotgun (e.g. butt cuff, side saddle).

Tom had us run a great drill called “Rolling Thunder”. Groups of 4 or 5 people stepped up to the line, each loading 1 round in the chamber. On the go signal, the leftmost person started and shot one. As soon as that person shot, the person to their right shot, and so on down the line until reaching the last person. When the last person shot, we went back to the start of the line and now this person fired 2 shots, and so on down the line 2 shots each. Then 3 shots. Then 4 shots. Note, this meant as soon as you shot, you had to get your gun reloaded with the correct number of shells for the next go-round. The goal was to have a constant string of “boom” going off, so you had to not only pay attention to what was going on so you didn’t miss your cue, but then you had to hustle and get your gun reloaded in time to not break the string. That pressure really tells a great deal about how you need to work and function, what equipment can work under pressure, what what won’t. And if you’re going to fuck up, you’ll do it here. 🙂  A great drill for not only working all the basic skills, but pushing you and putting you, your equipment, and your techniques on trial.

Another important skill we learned was dealing with “cruiser ready” as the proper mode for keeping a shotgun. It’s simple: shotguns are not drop-safe. Mossberg told me their shotguns are drop-safe, but I’m wary. Even if theirs are, others are not. Thus, storing a shotgun with one in the pipe is dangerous and should be avoided, so cruiser-ready is the way to go. We worked on how to set this up, how to get into action, and how to properly unload and restore cruiser-ready condition. Proper unloading technique isn’t as easy as you think.

We ran mostly birdshot because — birdshot is for birds. But it’s also good for practicing basic skills because it’s inexpensive. We did run some buckshot and even did Rolling Thunder once with buckshot so people could see how bad their stance was as the recoil pushed them backwards. 🙂  Oddly, we didn’t run slugs, tho we were supposed to bring some. Not sure why we didn’t.

One great thing about being in class with a lot of other people and guns was being able to see what worked and what didn’t and how other choices worked out. This was most evident when we spent time patterning buckshot, which I’ll talk more about later.

The skills presented were the fundamentals. No, we didn’t shoot tactical courses, we didn’t get all high-speed-low-drag. In fact, most of our shooting was done standing at the 5 yard line. What we did do was learn the foundational skills necessary to run the shotgun in a defensive context and run it well, to enable us to fight and to keep fighting. Upon these skills everything will be laid.

My Takeaway

I’m happy I took the course because it addressed the key thing that I needed: manipulation skills. Whenever I tried working with a shotgun, I struggled with one key thing: reloading technique. I mentioned in my review of the Magpul shotgun DVD that the best thing I liked about that DVD was learning good reloading techniques. I took some things from the Magpul approach (e.g. first 2 shells in my side-saddle were brass up, last 4 shells were brass down), then went with Tom’s approach. In the end, I’ll probably have a hybrid of the two. But again, this key bit of manipulation is so fundamental to fighting with the shotgun and keeping it (and you) in the fight.

Another thing that that I improved upon was my grip and stance. I’ve been putting my head on the comb of the stock. No, I should be bringing the comb to my cheek. Keeps my head up, straight, and I’m not banging my thumb knuckle into my face any more. I still need to work on keeping my thumb from wrapping around the grip (that’ll be a hard habit to break), but I may not break that habit since if we’re talking “commonality of technique” across firearms well.. I keep my thumb wrapped with my handgun, why break that habit? Keeping my head up and back, bringing the gun to my cheek instead of my head to the gun, seems to have made a big difference and enough to keep me from getting whacked in the face along with the other advantages of that technique.

My shotgun is mostly factory stock. It’s a Mossberg 500, thus 12 gauge, pump action. It’s a field model (i.e. wood furniture), so it came with a long barrel, but I replaced it with Mossberg’s factory 18.5″ “security” barrel, which has a fixed cylinder choke and a simple bead sight. I learned a bit more about how to use that bead sight correctly and my confidence in using it improved. Frankly, I think the bead is pretty darn fast, due to its simplicity. Now that I know better technique, I’d like to now check out how accurate I can be with slugs; I wouldn’t be surprised if this is why Jay and I had some accuracy problems with slugs during our shotgun ammo trials.

It did make me think a bit about gun modifications. The only “true mod” to my shotgun is putting a side-saddle AND a buttcuff on it (why both? because the only ammo you’re going to have is the ammo on the gun, and is there any such thing as too much ammo?). Tom talked about decreasing the length-of-pull, and we all got to try his shotgun with a 13″ LOP. Big improvement, especially in terms of mounting the shotgun from the high-ready position. I’m going to look into doing that. Do I want different sights on the gun? Not sure, and probably not. The bead is quite sufficient, so it seems. I still tinker with the idea of putting an Aimpoint T-1 on it, mostly so I can shoot with both eyes open. But I’m really not sure. Part of the appeal of a shotgun is that it’s an inexpensive solution. Almost everyone in class had “black tactical shotguns”, save for (fellow KRT asst. instructor) Tom Hogel and myself, who both had wood furniture (Brian Brown, another KRT asst. instructor, ribs us for our use of “grandpa guns”… tho since Tom’s has an EOTech on it, it’s a tactical grandpa gun 🙂 ). When you start down that road, it’s just more and more money. Is it worth it? Perhaps. But I can tell you based upon what I saw that my almost-factory wooden Mossy did quite well, and it’s more about the person running the gun than the gun itself.

That said, I still think about getting a more “tactical” gun mostly for the extra magazine capacity and more steel parts (and less plastic). But really… there’s lots of frills and trinkets out there, whose purpose is mostly to separate you from your money.

But in the end, I’m happy with the class. I’m happy with my gun. I’m happy with how I did, and what I got from the class. Lots of practice ahead, and thankfully just about all these skills can be practice dry at home with a good set of A-Zoom snap caps.

Observations

  • 18 people in the class. All male. Ages ranged from 20-ish to 60-ish.
  • About half the people in class I recognized.
  • 15 pumps, 3 semi-autos. I think most were Remington 870’s, then Mossberg’s of various pump flavors, at least one Benelli, a Winchester. I didn’t get to directly survey every gun out there.
  • Semi-autos are going to have problems, be ammo finicky. Manual of arms may be simpler, but everything else is much more complex than a pump. Pump may require more manipulation skills, but it’s a simpler machine and should run almost anything.
  • When choosing a pump, make sure when the forend is pulled all the way back it doesn’t cover the loading port. If it does, replace it.
  • It’s important to label shotguns in class, esp. when you have a whole bunch of black Remington 870’s on the line… whose is whose? But when you have a wood stock, you don’t need a label. 🙂
  • Side-saddles and butt-cuffs are important.
  • Sling? In this context, more of a liablity than a help.
  • Rifled shotgun barrels have one specific application context, and this isn’t it.
  • If it screws onto the gun, it will screw off the gun. There’s a lot of recoil going on.
  • When it comes to buckshot, Federal’s 00 buck with FLITECONTROL, low recoil (if it’ll cycle in your gun… again, pump no problem) is going to run amazingly well. While shotgun ammo patterns can vary from gun to gun, this stuff was amazingly consistent out of any gun it shot from. Really, when it comes to choosing buckshot for your shotgun, this is the place to start… and try both the 8 and 9 pellet versions to see which works better in your gun (Tom made a good case for 8 pellet and I’ll probably pick up some eventually and see how it does in my gun vs. the 9 pellet in my gun).
    • Read my post on Shotgun ammo and patterns, with a lot of buckshot pattern pictures. If this doesn’t convince you to use Federal with FLITECONTROL….
    • Also read the Addenda because it has some good links to things like ATK’s brochure on their shotgun ammo.
  • If you pick up Rangemaster’s Defensive Shotgun DVD, it will cover a lot of what we did in class, without the shooting or helpful instructors. It’s certainly a good place to start, but I’ll tell you… I watched that DVD before I took the class. It was good, but taking the class made it come alive — you just can’t beat actually training with Tom. The DVD will be quite useful now as a reference resource, and I know watching it now that I’ll “get it” a lot more. Point? Train with Tom if you get the chance.
  • Speaking of DVD’s, the class gave me a different perspective on the Magpul shotgun DVD. I think Tom’s a little more focused, a little more no-nonsense. I’m not going to say what’s in the Magpul stuff is bad (a lot was consistent with what Tom said), but it’s a matter of the presentation. Tom’s is very honed and focused on one topic. The Magpul attempts to be honed and focused, but it doesn’t quite succeed as it’s attempting to mostly be able fighting but there’s some gaming and other presentational aspects to it. I think both are good, and them along with live-instructor training would be useful for anyone interested in using a shotgun in a fighting context.
  • And I’ve said it a hundred times and I’ll say it a hundred more… people, sunscreen is your friend. Use it.

A big thank you to Tom Givens and his crew for coming down here to teach us. Always a pleasure and always a highly educational experience. Plus hey… it’s a lot of fun. 🙂

Tapioca Pudding

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Tapioca Pudding.

Some people love it. Some people hate it.

I love it.

But not just any tapioca pudding. It has to have large pearl tapioca in it. Why? Because it’s fun… or at least, as a kid I sure thought so. I still do.

When my paternal grandmother died a few days ago, I couldn’t help but think of tapioca pudding. She made it for us all the time. For whatever reason, she refused to use the small little “grains” even though she could conveniently buy them at the local grocery store. No… she would drive all the way to the PX to get the large pearl ones. Just for us (me and my sisters).

Any visit to Grandma’s house had this implication of tapioca pudding. We looked forward to it. Sometimes she didn’t have it; maybe a bread pudding or a rice pudding, which were good too, but they weren’t tapioca. It’s those big tapioca pearls in your mouth.. the way it feels.. it’s just fun. I think that’s why Grandma made it for us — the fun.

So when Grandma died, I went online and found a place that sells large pearl tapioca. I ordered some for each of my sisters and some for myself. Younger Sister received hers first and immediately emailed me… she knew, and she thanked me. Older Sister received hers just a few hours ago; I haven’t heard from her yet, but I know she knows. It holds the same special place in each of us.

As soon as my shipment arrived (and I realized that 5# is a LOT of tapioca), I demanded some be made. Wife understood — it’s a memory, it’s a tribute, it’s a memorial. Half a cup of pearls started soaking….

I didn’t realize that they had to soak overnight.

I looked at them. Within 30 minutes they felt soft enough… did they really need to soak overnight? They’d be dissolved and useless, wouldn’t they? But OK… we’ll follow the recipe. And gosh, they are a little bigger from soaking up the water, but they still seem smaller than I remember. Hrm. Is this going to turn out right?

Sleep. Wake. “Come on, Wife… let’s make pudding!” In fact, I gave Wife a bit of a hard time about making the pudding; it had to be a the priority for the day! I didn’t want to miss it. Hanging on to Grandma, just a moment longer.

I leave for a doctor’s appointment and Wife has started cooking. Very involved process… not difficult, just time consuming. You have to tend to it and stir and such for at least 30 minutes.

I return. Pudding.

I dig into it.

It’s not exactly as I remember it… but honestly, I have a hard time remembering it. The last time Grandma made us tapioca pudding was very long ago (she wasn’t well for many of her last years). But the exact flavor and texture didn’t really matter… it was all about the large pearls. 🙂  I fall back to my childhood, to being at Grandma’s house. I see the spoon, the bowl, the pearls, Grandma smiling at us and us smiling back at her.

This is the first time I paid attention to what it takes to make tapioca pudding. No it’s not hard, but it is time consuming. It takes a lot of planning — you can’t just decide to do it and whip it up as some 30 minute meal. You have to think ahead, you have to plan ahead, you have to work ahead. It takes time to obtain the tapioca. It takes time to soak the pearls. It takes time to cook and prepare it. It takes time for it to chill. You have to be thinking of things… you must have these things on your mind, long before they’re in front of you.

I never knew.

But now I know. And I can see… just how much love Grandma had for us.

asdkjgahdgkjhalgs

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

Feel like crap.

Whatever I’ve got, you don’t want.

That’s one downside to working from home… you can still work, even if you’re sick. It’s no big deal… if I’d be awake, I’d be wanting to do something anyways, so work is fine to pass the time. But don’t worry… if I feel the need to go lay down, I do. I don’t push myself to HAVE to be productive, work is merely a way to pass the time. Getting well is priority.

So with that, off to Walgreens. It’s a shame that only meth dealers have access to the good decongestants.

Feeling worse

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Sore throat still present, now with extra scratchiness!

To top it off… I screwed up my ankle last night.

I had just fallen asleep when I hear this sudden crash from the kitchen, Wife, and various Kiddo voices freaking out. It jolts me out of bed, I run towards the kitchen. Lots of “SASHA! SASHA!” and crashing going on, panicked sounding. I was wondering if the dog got one of the cats? the kids? Completely out of the question. No alarm going off, so no one broke into the house… but all this noise and freaking out! What could it be?

Well….

You see, Sasha likes to help out when someone is doing dishes. Put a dish in the dishwasher rack and puppydog likes to lick off anything she can find. Seems last night when she was done helping she turned to leave but her collar or tags got stuck in the bottom rack and she pulled the rack along with her… which freaked her out, then of course dishes and silverware clinking and crashing, which freaked her out more, but being it was all attached to her she couldn’t get away and so it just continued to be a horrible situation for the poor dog. Wife was able to intercept her, stop her, and free her, but oh the poor dog…. she was so freaked out. 😦

I screwed up my ankle because as I tore around through the hallway I slipped and came crashing to the ground. I was basically crawling into the kitchen last night… the kids said it was quite a sight.

What a mess. 🙂

I’m still all sore this morning, can’t speak well, can’t walk well… but I’m just hoping that Sasha isn’t scarred for life now, afraid of the kitchen, afraid of dishes clinking. Wife did a little “rehab” work with her last night before bed, coaxing her with some treats back into the kitchen. I hear puppy awake now, so I’m going to go see how she’s doing.

2011-05-16 workout

/ hsoi

No workout.

I woke up this morning feeling less than optimal. My throat is very sore, and I’m just overall not feeling it. Not sure what gives. If I am coming down with something, I need rest more than I need a workout… workout will just break my body down more, and if I’m already down, a workout really won’t help.

If I’m feeling better tomorrow, I’ll work out tomorrow. Else I’ll save it until Thursday.

Awareness FAIL

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I was at the grocery store picking up a few things. Since it was only a few things, I used one of the self-checkout kiosks. There are 4 of them, and I was the only person using one.

While in the midst of checking out my basket of goods, a man walks right up to my kiosk and starts to try to use it.

“Excuse me… I’m using this.”

“Oh… sorry.”

I was stunned. How unaware could you be? Not the basket of groceries already there, the bagged goods, the kiosk screen showing a checkout in progress, not to mention me standing there checking out my groceries.

I finish up, head out, get home… and realize I forgot the ice cream.

I go back and pick it up… left it at the checkout stand.

I was so preoccupied and stunned by this person’s lack of awareness that I myself went unaware of my own groceries.

Kicked myself for my slip-up, but also served as a reminder to not be so harsh on others. We’re all human. We all make mistakes. We all go “code white”. I have no idea what he may have been preoccupied with or that was otherwise causing him to be so unaware; there may have been good reason. I certainly didn’t have a good reason for zoning out.

A good lesson for me, in a couple of ways.

Lazarus A.D. – May 13, 2011, Austin, Texas

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I became a fan of Lazarus A.D. a couple years ago. They were the opening act for Testament, and while we weren’t able to catch their whole set, they impressed me and buddy W enough that we bought their CD there at the show. Been a big fan ever since.

A few months ago their new album, “Black Rivers Flow” came out. Finally! Unfortunately they came through Austin on Valentine’s Day so there was no way I could make the show. 🙂  But Lazarus has established themselves as a touring band, constantly on the road. I knew they’d be back and sure enough they were… Friday May 13, 2011, Emo’s. The bill was HeadCrusher, Lazarus A.D., and headliners Cavalera Conspiracy.

I went to the show, because I wanted to see Lazarus A.D.. That’s all I cared about. 🙂

Doors opened, I head in. I see Jeff Paulick behind the merch counter. I head over, buy a shirt, talk with him a bit. That’s one thing about this band: they are a band for the fans. Throughout the night I was able to speak with Jeff, Dan, and Alex (missed Ryan). Approachable, friendly, and just nice and humble guys. Asked for pictures, no refusal. Of course, they’re not millionaires, so they’re doing their own merch, their own load in and load out… no roadies here. And I figure they had to do their own tire change when it blew out on their way to Austin. You just want to support these guys because they’re working hard and having a good time while doing it.

When they finally hit the stage, they knew they had 45 minutes to tear the house down. I could tell all that time on the road the past couple years had really sunk in and paid off. They weren’t just up on stage, they owned the stage. They put on a good show, despite the cramped stage there at Emo’s. I was right up front, which as a fan is where I wanted to be, but unfortunately the way Emo’s p.a. is set up I heard more from off the stage than the p.a., so I couldn’t hear much for vocals and I wasn’t getting the full house mix. However, being right in front of Dan and Ryan’s drum set, hearing the drums 3 yards in front of me off the stage instead of through the p.a. I could hear every nuance of Ryan’s drumming and damn he’s good.

If I remember the set list:

  1. The Ultimate Sacrifice
  2. Thou Shall Not Fear
  3. Absolute Power
  4. Last Breath
  5. Black Rivers Flow
  6. Light a City (Up in Smoke)
  7. Revolution
  8. Rebirth
  9. Who I Really Am

If I messed that up and you were at the show, please correct me. 🙂  I thought it was a good setlist. I admit I thought it would have been cool if they played something like “Up On Stage” since it was their last night on the tour, but no worries. You have 45 minutes and you make the best of it.

After the show was done and the stage cleared, I spoke with Dan and Alex, and then had to head out. Yes, I left before CC ever took the stage. Nothing against Max and Igor, I love (old) Sepultura, but I came for one reason and one reason only: to see Lazarus A.D.. I came, I saw, they kicked ass. Can’t wait for them to come through Austin again, hopefully as headliners… or at least on a stage with more room.

And hopefully they’ll van will hold together long enough for them to make it home. 🙂

Good-bye, Grandma

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I woke up early this morning (as you might tell from the timestamp).

I check my email and this came from my Dad:

Just a message to let you know that [my brother] and I are at our Mother’s bedside in the certain last moments of her 93 years of life. She is in hospice care and not expected to live through the night. At the moment the good Lord calls her home we will have a brief family prayer at the funeral home the next day and a prayer graveside that same day. None of you should worry or make any arrangements to be here. You can pay your respects the next time you are in Omaha. She had an indomitable spirit and strong will to live and gave her two boys great support and encouragement each and every day of our lives.  We revere her and hold her up for your prayers. I will keep you posted. No flowers or worries. I love you all. Dad.

I sit here not knowing what I write. It’s not really a surprise given her health, but she did have such a strong will to live that I guess if she lived for another 10 years I wouldn’t have been surprised at that either.

I remember the big white house on Ruggles Street. Picking crab apples. Curiously picking through the barn when we shouldn’t have. I remember walking down the hallway and stepping on a thumbtack with my big toe. The games we’d play with the blocks and that big steel dumptruck (which my Dad still has)… or games like Waterworks, Sorry, Pit… and our favorite, Rummikub. I spent a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa’s house as a small child, and there were so many things there that fascinated me. A rush of that is coming back to me now, like the old letter scale, her desk of many drawers, the hurricane lamp, those old green couches that were always scratchy on our legs, the old radios and electric fans, the floor-model TV, the little candy dishes full of those Brach’s mixed bin candies (never liked those coconut neapolitan things, and that’s all that was left in the dish by the time we left… and then the next time we came over if she hadn’t been to the store yet).

Of course, how could I forget… it was Grandma Eleanor that gave us kids black licorice. Every time we’d visit, we’d so look forward to that as we only got it at her house. Technically it was Grandpa’s, but she always slipped us a piece if we were good. 🙂

I can see her face… heck, I remember when we’d act up and she would warn us “Don’t make me cross with you!” and boy you shaped up. How she would make us breakfast. It was the first time I had Shredded Wheat… no, not the frosted mini-ones, but that one big biscuit. Or the first time I had Grape Nuts and poured a big bowl (how’s a kid supposed to know!!), and while Grandpa forced me to eat it, she saved me from it. Heck, even little things like how there was always a tub of margarine on the dinner table.

Little things a boy remembers, eh?

Oh… and then there was how she would cook for us. When she knew we were coming to visit, she would travel all the way down to the PX, no matter how far out of the way it was, to buy tapioca for us. Not the little grains, but the big tapioca balls (the size of large peas) and make pudding for us. That was my favorite. Or her bread pudding… oh so good. Heck, as I write this, I can see her in the kitchen of the later house off Pacific Street, in the kitchen there cooking… putting the prep scraps into old plastic bread bags as she went along.

And then, the organ. You know, it was always us kids that messed around on the organ, but I swear I recall her playing it a time or two. The song “Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes” comes to mind, not sure if she played it but I know it was in one of those songbooks she had and I recall thinking it had a funny name.

One thing she liked to do with us was take us to the Humane Society. We’d go there with her, pet all the animals there, especially the cats. Maybe that’s where my love of cats started. She always had pet dogs (Puddin’!), and we didn’t have cats in my house growing up until later… so maybe it was from Grandma and all those visits that made me into a cat person. 🙂

She always took care of us. She never defied her husband, but she was always the foil/counter to a lot of his gruffness.

As I reflect back while I write this set of disjointed memories, one thing I realize is how much of my memories are from me as a young boy. I think that’s because the majority of my interaction with her was then. As she got older, eventually Alzheimer’s set in… heck, I remember after my Grandfather died she turned in the old station wagon (in which the A/C was always on “bi-level” and low fan speed, even in the worst summer heat… ugh!) and she got a bright red Chevy Blazer, eventually she realized that it wasn’t best for her to be on the road any more and she gave the keys up. She was able to come for my wedding, but then I’d recall when we’d visit we might talk but you could see her struggle with her memories… looking through a photo album and swearing she knew the people in there, but there was no way she could. It just broke my heart. But once things really set in, she just became happy. We’d visit her and while she likely didn’t know who we were, she was so happy and happy to see us. I recall the last time we saw her how much she just watched Youngest and was just drawn to him. Even tho she never could know my children, I’m glad they got to meet her, even if it was only a fraction of who she was.

Update: I just got off the phone with my younger sister. She called me, crying a bit, which of course is understandable. But we quickly turned the sadness into a great celebration of rememberance and she reminded me of so much more: the bingo set (we LOVED that little cage to roll around the balls); the stuffed koala bear; the Wooly Willy; the tea cups with the faces; those old perfume “vaporizer” with the little squeeze bulbs. I forgot how she called Kool-Aid “bug juice”. As I was talking to Younger Sister about riding in the car with Grandma (she too remembered the bi-level A/C), I found myself sitting in the front seat of the station wagon sitting next to Grandma and remembering all her purses… they were so neat. How we’d all be out in the backyard catching fireflies. How when we’d come over for an extended stay, she’d have towels and washclothes set out for us… but the neatest thing was always her Neutrogena soap… the clear/amber stuff.  And of course, how she would say “Well!” with this cute little twisted smiling face. I could never convey that here and do it any justice, but I see it clearly in my mind’s eye. Thank you, Sis, for the updated memories. 🙂

And I just remembered something she used to say every time she saw a ladybug: “Ladybug, Ladybug fly away home. Your house is on fire and your children will burn!”.  When we were kids that was just cute… looking back upon it in later years, it sounds terrible! But it was just our Grandma being funny.

She was tough. She was tenacious. She was firm and strict, but fair. While she may not have been the most lovey-dovey, you could see in every action the love and care she put into things. Always carried herself as a lady.

Thank you for everything, Grandma. I love you. I’ll miss you. Enjoy freedom.

2011-05-12 workout

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

Today’s workout was different.

Last workout, owner/trainer saw I was leaning a little too far forward when doing squats. I worked to correct that then, but even more so this workout. In fact, I dropped the weight slightly so I could be stricter. The thing is, when I squat without anything on my shoulders, I still lean forward; it’s just how my body structure is to maintain balance. That said, I can still improve my form and did. I “pushed back” so my weight was more on my heels than my toes. I felt my quads working a LOT more. One side-effect was that I worked slower. My reps weren’t powering through, but going slower, probably from 1 second to 2 seconds per rep. There was much more focus on feeling the main muscles contract. I focused harder on just letting that muscle do the work. That is, say on bench press instead of just moving the weight up, I was really intensely focused on just letting my pecs contract and the weight moved up because the contraction pulled my upper arm in. It’s a different mode of thought and movement. I try doing this all the time, but today the focus on that was much more intense than any past workout, and held throughout the workout.

So squats started it off, but it just carried into the entire workout. So yeah, some reps or weight might have dropped compared to the previous workout, but the intensity level was higher and THAT is more important.

This is why I don’t want to rush into a new workout routine yet, because I know I’ll focus more on that routine than these sorts of minute details. The details matter more.