Life

Pain as a (positive) motivator

/ hsoi

And another from John Farnham, on Pain.

This hit me for two reasons.

First, I’ve hit a point in my life where I need some serious change. The pain of staying where I am is now outweighing the pain of changing. It may flux, the level of pain may change, I may revert back. Who knows, but I hope not. I hope my motivation to move forward will continue.

The only way any of us ever move forward and improve our lives, is when the pain associated with our current lot exceeds the pain of moving on. It’s a universal formula, and it applies to all of us. Life is motion. Stagnation is always associated with wretchedness and mental illness. For the sake of our own mental health, we have to move on, no matter how painful it is!

John’s writing just hit home with me on that personal level. It is what’s going on for me: the pain to stay is greater than the pain to go.

Second, the real focus of John’s writing is about panhandlers. Personally I don’t have anything to do with them. Wife is more compassionate than I about this, and she is right: we don’t know their story, they could truly need help. But when I see the same guys on the same street corner day after week after month, I’m just not convinced they really care to change, that they really are down on their luck. You offer them a job, they don’t want it. Food they might take; money, or booze or pot they will take. Sorry. I bust my hump at multiple jobs to earn my money and you want me to just give it to you so you can flush it and your life down the toilet? I won’t have any part in that.

John makes a perfect point:

Yes, he claims to be miserable, hungry, homeless, et al. Yet, regardless of what you do, or don’t do, he’ll surely be back on that same street corner, with the same hand-scribbled sign, next week, and the week after, in perpetuity. As miserable as he claims to be, the pain of self-improvement perpetually exceeds the pain of staying where he is.

So, in giving him cash, or even food, you are “easing his pain,” and thus assuring that he will never change. There is only one thing he really lacks, and that’s ambition, and well-meaning enablers virtually insure that ambition never rears its ugly head!

Pain is firmly attached to all our lives, and pain is a relentless headmaster. Thus, in forestalling anyone from the full enjoyment of the logical consequences of their own carelessness, stupidity, vanity, sloth, naivety, and bad habits, we ultimately do them, and society, no good service. “Giving ” cash to someone who has done nothing to earn it, is ultimately destructive of their mental health. In fact, you’re doing little more than supporting a drug habit!

This Civilization already has far too many healthy, able-bodied, yet sleazy and willfully-unproductive cowards. Preventing them from ever growing up, from ever squarely confronting their own shortcomings and moving forward, is ultimately a crime against humanity!

Pay Yourself First

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

I first learned of the concept from the Motley Fool guys: Pay Yourself First. I try to do that as much as I can with finances, but I realized that I haven’t been doing it enough with the rest of my life.

For instance, I wake up and immediately the mindset starts into “going to work”. If I’m going to do anything for myself, it tends to be something done at night after work, and many times I’m too drained or tired to put effort into it. Consequently, my own projects suffer.

Well, I’m trying to “pay myself first” in other areas. Let’s see how it goes. Wake up, do my own thing for a few hours. Yes, I still have to portion things right to give proper time to the day job. But since there’s no way I’ll neglect that work well, hopefully this will now mean other things won’t get neglected or ignored from lack of time or energy. Hopefully this will pay off for me.

I really want it to pay off for me. I’ve got a bunch of irons in the fire and I want to ensure they get forged to completion. There are also some new things I want to do, and I can’t do them until I clear off my plate.

Killed by coyotes? What can we learn.

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

I was flipping through TV channels and came across a show on the National Geographic Channel called “Killed by Coyotes?”

 

A talented young folk singer, Taylor Mitchell, is killed by coyotes as she hikes alone in a Canadian national park. It’s the first fatal coyote attack on an adult human ever recorded, and it shocks not only the surrounding community but coyote experts as well. Highly intelligent and generally timid around people, coyotes have traditionally not been considered a threat to human communities. But are they becoming more habituated to us and are they losing their fear of us? In the wake of the attack, scientists, police and park rangers try to develop a clear picture of what happened – and why. And with coyote numbers increasing throughout North America, we explore how humans and coyotes co-exist.

 

 

I remember when this story hit the news. I only caught the last half of the show, but it was interesting. They came to the conclusion that Taylor was killed as a result of a predatory act, that is, they were hunting her… not defense, not a rabid animal acting out of character, but she was hunted. They said these yotes were “Eastern Coyotes”, a hybrid of coyote and wolves; consequently, they have a different behavior, one that’s not afraid of larger quarry. Furthermore they asserted that in a protected forest, there’s no fear of predatation by humans, and in fact there is likely chances for “friendly” interaction with humans thus critters become less afraid of humans. Consequently, any attempts to “scare them off” just wouldn’t work because they have no fear of humans; that you are bigger means nothing.

We’ll never know the truth of what happened to Taylor Mitchell, but it does go to show that the world can be a dangerous place. We are so insulated, so isolated from the reality of the world… most people don’t want to acknowledge or are ignorant of how the world really is (including human predators that surround us on a daily basis). And yes it’s true that Taylor’s case is a first in recorded history. But you know… it’s little comfort to know you’re a statistical anomaly while in the midst of being attacked.

I did take a few things from this.

First, they hypothesized based upon their findings that Taylor detected she was being followed and started to run, throwing her keys, her camera, all in an attempt to flee. It’s very natural to choose one reaction: fight or flight. They hypothesized that Taylor chose flight, and that triggered a stronger predatory response in the coyotes. What if she had chosen to fight? Granted the results may have been the same, but you can’t help but wonder if standing your ground and fighting could have yielded a better result. I also consider that one’s response to such a situation may be biological, but one thing we humans have is an ability to overcome our biological programming. If instead you train and condition yourself to fight, if your first reaction might be “OH SHIT!” but then your second reaction is “YOU’RE GOING DOWN!!”, what sort of difference could that make? There’s often discussion of the wussification of America, how we’re teaching kids to go fetal instead of fight… how could things be different if we raised fighters, not flighters?

Second… I can’t help but think about all those people who freak out over the whole “concealed carry in national parks” issue. For me, it’s not about wild animals, but still about predators. It’s quite common for drug manufacturers to grow marijuana on public lands in national parks. Of course, they don’t want to be found, so if you stumble upon them, it’s unlikely the rest of your day will go well. But I think back to a camping trip with my family at a Texas State Park. We’re just walking down the road in the park and suddenly a coyote runs across the road in the middle of the day. Odd behavior, but it happened. Thankfully nothing came of it, but what if the yote thought otherwise? Do you have a plan to deal with that situation? Do you have a means to handle it?

.44 Magnum does a good job of addressing the situation. Imagine of Taylor was armed. Imagine if she had such an equalizer. Might she be alive today?

 

Unicorn City

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

I’m not into LARPing, but I did play D&D as a kid, played MUD’s in undergrad… so I jive with all of this.

Co-worker just showed me this trailer for a movie called Unicorn City

Looks like that could be enjoyable to watch.

Failure or success in education depends upon the parents

/ hsoi / 10 Comments

Adam Carolla rants about why the public school system has failed. (h/t The Packing Rat) Some NSFW audio.

He’s right. Success or failure in school directly corresponds upon the level of involvement of the parent. My little sister spent 2 years as a grade school teacher in inner city Washington D.C.. It was most evident from the family culture there that it was the prime contributor to the student’s level of success or failure (mostly failure). I can speak from my own public school experience that parental involvement is the #1 factor in the success or failing of the student (which then corresponds to the success or failing of the school, the school system, etc.).

Trouble is, it’s not politically correct to talk about it (and Adam’s rant isn’t politically correct). Furthermore, the people who whine and care so much about public education, the Liberals and Democrats, have a huge voter base that pulls directly from those very groups that have the culture problem. Do you think they’re going to address the truly tough issues in a head-on and brutally honest fashion and risk alienating their voter base? Nope, because votes matter more than actually addressing and fixing real problems.

Furthermore, you can’t fix problems of culture by throwing more money at it. It’s harder to fix culture problems. Look at Chris Rock’s own rant about how you get more respect within the Black community coming home from prison than you do coming home from college.

So what sort of culture do you surround yourself with? What sort of culture do you surround and permit to surround your children? It’s not strictly a racial thing, but it does tend to fall along ethnic lines. Believe me, I know some Asians that are worthless and some Mexicans with more degrees on their wall than you. It’s the culture that you (and your children) are surrounded by. And don’t think it’s out of your control. Sure some parts may be, but that means you as the parent have to become even more involved. Yes it might mean you have to be strict, deny your child, say “no”, and be tough in how you raise them. It’s your job to be their parent, not their friend, not to “be cool” or any such notion.

Wonder why homeschooled kids do so well? Maybe it has something to do with that high level of parental involvement in their lives and education. Think about it.

Language as a Window into Social Relations

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

My time in higher education was spent studying “human/speech communication” — I studied how people communicate. So I find things like the following video to be interesting.

Note, the audio/video may be NSFW… there’s nothing overt like cussing or nudity, but it does talk about sex.

Necessary tool support

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

Yes, you need tools. Good tools. Things break, you have to fix them. Screwdrivers, wrenches, pliers, hammers… and the many variants that exist of these things.

But sometimes we need things to support the tools. Tools alone don’t cut it.

WD-40.

Duct tape.

3-in-One oil.

Goo Gone.

Electricians tape. Masking tape. Teflon tape.

Liquid Wrench.

That last one is a favorite. I think my little vial of it is geez… maybe a couple of decades old. You only need a little bit, and you don’t need it all that often. But when you need it, nothing else works like it does. When the guy came this morning to install the new washing machine, of course he had to turn off the hot and cold water supplies. When he turned the hot supply back on, it started to leak from the valve stem. We could tighten it and get it to stop, but it didn’t really stop. Went to Lowes to get a replacement spigot. Trying to remove the old spigot? Oh my. I guess 25+ years of lime and calcium build-up, and the spigot would not budge. Liquid Wrench to the rescue. Soak it, tap on the spigot threads, crank and cuss… wipe off what was loosened, repeat numerous times cussing louder each time. I didn’t have a solid combination wrench large enough so I had to use adjustable combination wrenches (Craftsman), and I swear I was close to breaking them, it was that stubborn. Eventually, with more soaking and cranking, she gave. Thank you, Liquid Wrench.

Fishing spots?

/ hsoi / 6 Comments

Alright local folk. I’m looking for spots to go fishing. I need your input.

1. Needs to be relatively nearby (e.g. South/Southwest Austin, but anywhere that’s not too far a drive I’ll accept).

2. Needs to be accessible and fishable from the bank. I don’t have a boat.

3. Free is best, cheap is OK. I’m hoping this could be something where I could slip off to for a couple of hours on a weekday morning every so often. So, not having to spend a lot of money is a plus. Kiddos would probably go with me too, so again low to no cost is ideal.

And of course, if you have any specific input about what sort of fish are there, what they’re biting on, any particular good techniques for that body of water, all input welcome. 🙂

Thanx.

Bought a washing machine

/ hsoi

So with the old washing machine dying, today we went shopping to buy a new washer.

At the urging of a friend, I avoided the big box stores. Went to a couple local places and ended up buying from Depew Appliances. Not a bad place, glad I went there.

We ended up with a Maytag Series 2000 (MHWE200XW).

Why that one?

Well, first it was one of the least expensive models they had on the floor. I sunk around $2000 into that Kenmore Elite HE3t 8 years ago expecting it to last me 15-20 or more years. If things are just going to break in 5-8 years and be too costly to repair, I just don’t see the logic in sinking lot of money into this stuff. Sure, I still want to get something that will take good care of my clothes, that has the cycles/features Wife wants, and that doesn’t suck. But $1000+ on a washer? I just can’t justify that outlay. So, low price tag was a plus. BTW, this washer ended up being about the same price as the replacement tub for the HE3t… couple that with labor and the rest of the parts? I could buy a couple washers. It’s a shame that “disposable” is how it is but working in the software world I understand “upgrade revenue” because if you make a product that lasts 40 years, while people will love it today’s business world can’t support that business model any more. Pity.

Second, ConsumerReports.org rated it a “best buy” (click to see the review, if you have a subscription), and I’ve generally had good experience when I buy something they rate well. So, I’m hoping the positive trend will continue. I will say, this is one huge reason why I finally got a smartphone. The ability to have “Internet in my hands” out in the field is invaluable. I purchased my ConsumerReports.org subscription while Wife drove to the stores, then did searches and researching on models and prices while in the stores. Hooray technology! It certainly helped me narrow down the choices to what appeared to be the best buy. What reviews I could find on this model were positive. So, here’s hoping.

And of course, it had the features and things that Wife wanted. So, all good there!

I admit, the price was listed slightly lower at HomeDepot.com and a few other online places, but I still bought from Depew. Yes, after showing the sales guy that I could get it cheaper elsewhere, he did give me a price lower than on the sales tag. Still a hair higher but it was in the ballpark so, good enough. I didn’t feel like getting into a haggle-fest. It was an acceptable price, and I’m happy to help out Mom & Pop shops.

We’ll see how it works out. Hopefully it won’t suck, and if it can last at least 5 years the well…. I guess I’ll be ahead of the curve. They deliver Monday.

On zero-tolerance policies

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

Nat Hentoff writes a good piece about public government schools and their “zero-tolerance” policies.

Policies. All about freeing the administration from thinking. It’s really just lawsuit protection and CYA. It’s bad policy. One that goes overboard. Hentoff tells of Andrew Mikel who, because of a spitwad, is being charged with violent criminal conduct and is no longer qualified to apply to the US Naval Academy. Or of  6-year-old Zachary Christie who was so excited to join the Cub Scouts, that he wanted to use his camp utensils to eat his lunch that he brought them to school… but we cannot tolerate such behavior so he must spend 40 days in reform school.

What? Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor.

What sort of lesson are you teaching children? Sit down, shut up, conform conform conform. Follow the rules, even the bad ones, even the wrong ones, because we’ll make your life even worse if you don’t. Better to hide behind a policy than think. We’ll ruin you for life for any simple mistake you make. Childhood is no longer a time to make mistakes, to learn, to tolerate and grow. No. You mess up, you’re done. This is what ‘is our children learning’. *sigh*

It’s another reason why I enjoy homeschooling our kids. My kids get in trouble when they do NOT have a pocketknife on them. Learning how to safely handle firearms is part of essential curriculum! But whatever infraction my children make, there’s no blind policy that leaves no room for understanding, no room for them to learn. Yes, we tolerate mistakes. As their parents and chief educators, we’re here to help our children learn and grow. We understand that childhood is full of more mistakes and failures than successes, because this is the early stages of learning and that’s just how it goes.

And people wonder why kids lose their childhood so quickly these days….