Sometimes the failures are better teachers.

Last night I looked and 6 reps @ 325# would have been a clear PR (5 to tie), so 6 was the goal.

I only got 4.

I know what it is.

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
— Litany Against Fear

It’s not so much fear as doubt, but doubt tends to have seeds in fear. That I’m going to be crushed, that I won’t get back up, that I have to dump the bar (which always sucks), that I’m going to blow out something (my knee), whatever. It’s really stupid, but for whatever reason it’s crept back into my head. I’m flirting with weights I’ve never moved before, and while that’s part if it, now it’s another thing.

Depth.

The past few cycles I felt like I was clipping depth on the heaviest sets. I videoed, and it’s questionable if I’m consistently hitting depth so, that’s good enough to say I’m not. I’ve been working on ensuring depth, but that extra inch lower does greatly affect how much you can move and if you’re going to come out of the hole or not. That’s more the issue than the pure weight at this point. So I’m working to sink down, and it’s messing with my head because when I get into the hole it feels “worse”, because it is worse, it is harder.

And I’m just weak.

Still, getting 4 with better depth was acceptable. My body felt like it could go for 5, but my head did not. So, a little good, a little bad. Things to work on — mostly mental.

And that matters a lot for next week, because that will be @ 340, which is 5# shy of my 1RM best (from end of December). My goal is to sink it for 3.

So working on that, Pause Squats were all about going low and sitting there in the hole for a couple seconds longer than before. Really sink it, really feel it, really work on driving out of the hole explosively.

I opted against split squats in favor of just doing bodyweight squats. I wanted to continue to drive the mechanics in.

So, today was what it was. Not what I wanted, but I got something good out of it.

• Squats
  • bar x whatever
  • 145 x 5
  • 180 x 5
  • 215 x 3
  • 250 x 3
  • 290 x 3
  • 325 x 4
• Pause Squat
  • 250 x 4
  • 250 x 4
  • 250 x 4
• Bodyweight Squat
  • BW x 15
  • BW x 15
  • BW x 15
• Crunches
  • BW x 20
  • BW x 16
  • BW x 13