Me

No B.S.

/ hsoi / Leave a comment

The other day someone told me a big reason people jive with me is because I keep it real.

There is no other way to be.

For… ever in my website bio I’ve said this:

I’m not one for bullshit. I do my best to not bullshit people, I don’t like to be bullshitted, and I generally don’t put up with bullshit. Life’s too short for games and bullshit. Be honest and straight with people.

Me

I blame my Dad

I grew up the son of a politician – I still am.

He started in politics when I was 4 years old. It was from age 8 to 16 when Dad was a member of the US House of Representatives, but from 4-8 he was still running and campaigning (lost before he won). So from age 4 through graduating high school I had to do the “political family” thing.

Shooting TV commercials for Dad’s campaigns was cool to young me – all the cameras, “I’m going to be on TV!!” – until I had to act. It all felt so… fake, so “put-on-a-show” to me. Here we are supposed to show the world we’re this perfect happy family, when my Mom was just yelling at me, Dad was steamed, the kids were cranky… then the Director yells “ACTION!” and it’s all smiles and happy. SMILE DAMNIT! BE HAPPY!

It was revolting to me. It was such… lies. Lies to the world.

I’m sure that planted the seed.

Verbosity

/ hsoi / Leave a comment

People tell me I talk a lot. 

I can.

It’s not that I’m verbose – in the sense that I “run on” (tho I can).

It’s that I desire to share information.

I may “run on”, I may post a wall of text; afterwards you tend to not have questions. You are also filled with more information – historical, contextual – which enables you to make better, deeper, more understanding decisions and interpretations down the line. 

George Carlin once said something like “A soundbite. Just a bite. A morsel. Malnourishment.”

I want you to be nourished.

Winter 2023 Programming – Turning left

/ hsoi

First Program of 2023

Going into 2023, my main goal is getting lean. This fat must be shed, for a number of reasons. That’s primarily a diet thing. Right now I want to talk about the gym side of things.

Changing gyms

For the past 2 years I have gone to the local Snap Fitness. It’s not bad, really. The one here has some age, both in equipment/facilities as well as target market / demographic. It’s got a power rack with a Texas Squat Bar, a half rack with a shit bar (my boys were always a sight, bringing my original EliteFTS Power Bar in every day), a Smith Machine, some benches, dumbbells up to 120, Cybex machines (which I’ve really come to appreciate), cardio, other “fitness” stuff. Really, it’s not a bad place. Owner/operator didn’t care if I used chalk (just clean up). I could “drop” my deadlifts (i.e. respectful clanging is ok). Good people there (other old people like me, a few young people). All in all, Snap was alright. I wish the racks were bolted down (the half-rack further out so that pole wasn’t an issue – which is why the weight storage pegs are all broken off), I wish the bar didn’t suck and there wasn’t 1 of them. I mean, it was kept generally clean. Generally functional. Did recently upgrade/replace a bunch of bench and machine pads. Not perfect, but nothing is and it was generally good. No complaints. Satisfied customer.

It’s more about a life change. Oldest is moving across town. We need to centralize, so gym switch.

As well, 2 years ago I was still on the “strong” path. I wanted to reclaim some glory and bench/squat/deadlift 3/4/5 wheels again. However too many injuries and realizing that I can get there again, I just need to take a much different – and longer – path to get there. Which is, ok at this point. Look at someone like Mike O’Hearn – say what you will, dude’s got longevity and looks better now than most (if not all) of his critics. Dude fucking inclines 405 for reps… So, just take it slower, mind the process. It will come.

And with that, I also find myself more drawn to bodybuilding at this point. I will get to a sufficient level of strength, if I just build the way I want to build. It’s so funny that I always felt a draw to things in like the 5-8 rep range – it just always felt so optimal to me. And it’s great to see how that’s actually bearing out now in research, and I see it too in my hypertrophy response. But I think only now am I willing to put in what it takes to really understand and pull out a 5-8 to failure – and I still think I have a ways to go to really blast through that mental (pain) barrier.

So I naturally want to lean more towards machines right now. So this other gym, TruFit (they seem to be an up-and-coming Texas-based chain)… they’ve got lots of Hammer Strength shit. Boy, HS’s ideal of knurling is so silky-smooth… 🙄 I mean, it’s knurling, it feels really nice, but I still feel like it’s going to slip out of my hand. But they are nice overall. The machines are pretty good, with me opting for the plate-loaded over the selectorized when possible. Hammer Strength’s plates are THICK due to the rubber coating, and it seems like many of the plate-loaded weight shafts (heh) are short (heh), so maybe 4 plates if you’re lucky on the load. I’ll see how things bear out, but so far I’m digging the machine offerings.

Turning left

I already knew I had to change things up (go read to see where this is coming from).

In light of all this new equipment, I opted to reapproach things. I have new toys, so why not!

If we look at Day 1, I wanted more delt focus, maintain upper pecs, something triceps, more delts, then a general back. I used their Iso-Lateral Shoulder Press, IL Incline Press, Rolling DB Extensions, Cable Y Raises, IL Row. The Iso-Lateral stuff is pretty nice. Presses don’t converge, but it’s ok. Row is a little different because now my humerus is about 45º, which is alright.

Day 2 I’m probably going to try the V-Squat.

Day 3 there’s more interesting back machines around there, and I’ll keep seeing what there is. I know there’s some nifty lat-pulldown types. I want a good row, a good pulldown, something rear delt, something biceps, chest press.

Day 4 I’m not sure. The good morning in the V-squat is all the rage right now, but I think I want good old RDL’s. Then probably lying leg curls. Not sure what else… there is a standing calf raise machine, so I’ll probably use that.

It’s fun to have new toys. 🙂

First Impressions

Gym was open when I got there, which is a good sign (esp. day after Christmas). Not many people (maybe no more than a dozen at any time while I was there, tho probably 2-3 dozen did cycle through).

Bathroom… generally clean. Needed soap at one set of sinks, lots of water splash on the mirrors and around sinks. When I left, I stopped into the locker room on my way out. I saw a reflection… of 2 ovals, close together, on one of the benches. I noted to not put my bag there.

There is cleaning stuff but not necessarily together. Like there’s a trash can and a cleaning bottle in the middle of the floor, but only a paper towel dispenser way on the other side on the wall. Interesting how they locate the cleaning supplies.

Took the time to look around, check out all the machines, see and start to learn what’s available. Decided to go with plate-loaded over the selectorized since I think it will fit me better – I tried some ergos and overall the plate-loaded will work better for me. There’s a nice selection of stuff.

Opted to do this shoulder press. I worked up for sets of 8 until I felt it was “there”, then did 2 (work) sets of 5-8. I didn’t think much of it. I then moved to the incline press, same work-up to 2×5-8. I will note I felt myself pushing (contracting) harder than ever before. It was… wild. And my right pec is reminding me that it’s not without prior injury, so I gotta be mindful.

After I finished those, my delts were on fire. I never felt that before. It was a crazy ache! We’ll see how it feels in the next few days.

Rolling DB extensions were ok. I have to find the groove on this equipment (e.g. “place my butt here so when I lay down my head will be here”). Plus my delts were so fried that my body was like “No, I am not going to stabilize these dumbbells, I don’t care what you say”. 😂 I may need to find another movement that doesn’t involve that stability aspect.

Good Y-Raises. They don’t have a “free motion” machine, but they have a setup that has 2 stacks at 90º close together which is good enough.

And the Iso-Lateral rows. Of the various hand positions, the top handle with pronation was the one that worked best for me (i.e. comfortable range of motion, no weird stresses, optimal width). I didn’t feel it there at the gym, but this afternoon here at home I’m feeling the work.

All in all, this is a good move. Equipment more towards what I’m now pursuing. This is novel and fun.

Being strict on my diet coupled with this work should pan out well.

Direction

I will spend the next 2-3 weeks sussing out the program: honing in on the exercises/machines, weights to get that 1-3×5-8, etc. Do more with less.

I will take this as long as I can take it, which ought to be be 3-4 months at least.

I should have a good feel for this gym by then too.

I’m down…

/ hsoi

…to about 250-ish pounds. The other day the scale said 248, but that was just water/carbs.

Catching you up

I track my bodyweight via RepCount into Apple Health,; before that in spreadsheets. I’ve also written about it here under the weight-management category. tl;dr 2015 I got my leanest to date at 199 from my highest ever at 265. After that I got more into powerlifting, Vitamin T. Got strong, and big… especially big. My bodyweight has fluctuated up and down since then, tho certainly the overall trend has been increasing. This time tho, there’s far more muscle. I’ve been sitting in the 250’s for maybe 18 months now. I ballooned up to 261 from Thanksgiving bloat.

I’m tired of it

It’s fun to be big. No lie.

It’s also tiring. #IYKYK

Oh, I still want to be big – don’t get me wrong! But I don’t need to lug around fat as the amount I have does me no good (you only need so much to function). What I’ve got gets in the way more than helps. Put it this way: lean abs and big pecs help with AIWB, and I ain’t helpin’ myself.

It’s been my eternal struggle. Food is my crutch, my comfort, my drug.

That must stop. Not just change, but stop.

I’ll state right out front: death comes for us all, and until that day I will occasionally enjoy a fine meal and good whiskey. I will also not stop eating Mrs. Hsoi’s cooking, especially when she makes me large-pearl tapioca pudding (just like my Grandma Eleanor used to). I just want to ensure that until that day comes I can live well – which for me right now means leaning out.

And never going back.

#BecomingLean

Being sick was perhaps the blessing in disguise. It killed a bunch of my appetite. It’s been pretty easy to bypass the sweet snack-y things (props to Alan Thrall). That alone I know is a help – and I told myself

Or… it could be the Animal Cuts. Yes I know, but let the little bro in my live a little. LOL. I actually wonder if the appetite suppressant properties may be contributing. The tin is almost empty, so I’ll cycle off for a bit and see what happens. Over all these years I’ve always experimented on my body to see how things act, react, respond, etc. I keep data. The experiments are interesting and educational. But I know like any supplement, if you don’t put in the work, you still ain’t gonna get results. Frankly? Even if it’s placebo, if it’s only just helping me somehow be accountable (e.g. like why some people have a personal trainer) because that paying out $$$ makes you not want to waste it. 🤷‍♂️

Still, my appetite is down. I can look in the mirror and see I am VERY flat. My wedding ring comes off more easily. So while I got down from the post-Thanksgiving bloat of 261 pretty quick, it was back into the 254-257 range. So that I’m now bouncing around 248-251 is… good. I believe this is mostly water and glycogen loss, maybe a pound of tissue if I’m lucky? Which I know contributes to the dizzies at the gym. Still, that’s needed to deplete to drive the body to alternate energy sources (fat). Working to keep my protein intake high (at least 200g/day on the “lazy measure”, which means I’m probably getting 225-250g from all sources).

It’ll manage out. There’s some fine-tuning to do and I’m doing it. I know the scale is but one metric, and I know how I leverage that metric. To see 250 consistently for the past few days is actually good. We needed convenience supper last night, ordered pizza, I ate a couple more slices than I should have however I’m not feeling guilty because my body needed it. I’m coming off a really hard some months at the day job and last night started 2-weeks PTO… so I unwound a bit and don’t feel one lick of guilty about it. Woke up 250 this morning, a little fuller looking. Pretty cool. I’ll return to normal today, both in food consumption and glycogen levels. It’ll be fine in the long haul.

So… it’s a small step, but it’s a meaningful step. Slow progress is still progress.

Winter 2022 Programming

/ hsoi

This is about lifting weights, what I’ve been exploring in my program, how it’s paying off, and where I want to go next.

Explorations

I’ve been lifting for hypertrophy; no more 5/3/1 (tho principles always remain, especially start light, progress slowly). It’s been about 3.5 months and 4 3-“week” mesos (I lift MWF). It’s basically an upper/lower A/B split. I started with a “powerbuilding” approach, trying to squat/bench and other heavy stuff for progressions.

In time I had to stop squatting because my current shoulder mobility makes it hard to get into position for back squatting and starts to put a lot of strain on my wrists, elbows, and shoulders – excruciating pain, which I’m not hip to dealing with again. So, more leg pressing.

I also found myself following Paul Carter’s stuff again, looking things like “effective reps” and keeping it to maybe 3×5-8 work.

Payoff

Not squatting has been good for me. My body feels better: knees not so stiff, wrist/elbow/shoulder pain gone (well, the squat-induced pain; my left hand/wrist still has other issues, which are better but still present). Plus quads are getting bigger. I use the Cybex Plate Loaded Squat Press, which is awesome. On Lower A day, I put on my squat shoes (elevated heels), feet low on the plate, quad-bias. On Lower B, Chucks (flat sole), feet high, glute bias. Working up to something heavy, 8 reps RPE 9-10 sort of thing. I think I was getting to a point of too much heavy leg work because I was feeling it (stiff, achy, not fully recovering). I’ve started to cut back on the pure volume, as I don’t need as many warm-up sets now as I’m more in the groove of this movement. Slowly adding weight, just taking my time to work up into it – start light, progress slowly.

FWIW, I never thought much of the leg press. I always hated it. It was always a lesser/secondary to squatting. I do think the particular machine helps (vs. other styles of leg press machine), but it’s more having to make this a primary movement and working to wring out the most from it. It’s not an afterthought movement… I’m glad I’m coming to better appreciate the old leg press. It then touches on two things:

First, Paul Carter. While sometimes Paul’s online communication approach rubs me the wrong way, I’ve long appreciated his coaching and knowledge; his teaching is probably 2nd behind Wendler for me. His most recent thing is around “effective reps”. I’ve been exploring that, aiming for 5-8 rep sets to failure (or very close to it). Also, 3 minutes rest between sets. Pushing this hard has been… different. It’s taken a while to work up to where I am, and I’m still not feeling like I’m really pushing it… I’m getting there, but not there yet. And the results are so far solid.

I mean, I can feel more “boulder” with my biceps. I am quite aware of more pectoral, especially clavicular – thank you John Meadows 20º incline bench pressing. I can see my calves popping (both gastroc and soleus). Delts are getting wider. I’ve got hamstrings. Shit’s growing.

Second, less/reducing volume. I was doing more volume – in terms of simple sets & reps, and weight – because I know roughly how much stimulus I need to “stimulate, not annihilate”. Well, as things are getting heavier, as I push more towards true failure, I really need less “overall volume” in favor of “effective volume”. So I’m dropping some warm-up sets – it’s not much, but it all adds up (I don’t need those warm-ups, like going from incline benching to JM press, I was doing a few more warm-up/light sets to learn the movement, but I basically feel I have the groove so I just go right into the work sets).

Also, I’m still getting stronger – the one major indicator is my incline benching. I just did 265×3@8.5, which is all time PR. The fun thing about doing very different exercises (than SBD/P) is there’s all new PRs to set! Plus, I’m really trying to make the # on the bar be a secondary thought: not what I pursue, but a nice thing when it happens. Like to incline 300 will be pretty cool… give me a year, since I’m enjoying plodding along 5# per meso, and that will stall at some point (probably 280, based on how that 265 moved). Still, I’ll get there.

So getting bigger, getting stronger, and not feeling so beat up all the time. What’s not to like?

Next

I’ve been debating if I should replace the Lower B leg press (high-feet, glute) with something like RDLs. It was the “too much” factor. But reducing some of the volume on leg pressing has helped. If I can continue to reduce that volume while still making gains, great. I may still switch, we’ll see. But I’m enjoying this leg pressing stuff so… we’ll see.

I do want to continue to reduce “volume” where I can.

I want to keep doing my “yoga”. That’s been not an everyday thing, but I am more sensitive to it and do these moves and stretches more often. I of course can still improve here. But no question this helps all the things.

But for the most part, I’m going to keep on. It’s pretty simple progression for the most part: 3×5-8@9-10 is the goal. Trying to do “as little as I can” in terms of volume, but pouring that much more into every single rep. It’s a slow progression for me, just keep adding weight & reps each session (e.g. 1 more pound, 1 more rep) and just keep pushing it. Over time, it’ll all catch up. Then I can reset, new exercises, etc. So just keep going until it’s time to not keep going.

Diet

This is been interesting. I’ve been tracking my intake (roughly) with Macrofactor. I’m not strictly following it, it’s more a visibility and accountability thing for me. The app has some good parts, but annoys me a bit too (speaking as an iOS developer for many years). Still, it’s helped me hone in on some things. I can validate that if I basically aim for 50g protein 4x/day and make sure I do that, I’ll be in good shape. Then eat the carbs and fat my body needs, don’t go overboard. And don’t snack or overdo it. That’s the big one that I’m struggling with as it’s massive habit to overcome. But I’m recognizing it and having more successes than before so… it’s coming along.

Really? I need to become comfortable with being hungry, both literally and figuratively. That will change everything. It’s slow progress, but that’s still progress.

The Real Power of 5/3/1

/ hsoi

Jim Wendler‘s 5/3/1 (overview) is an amazing strength building program. It’s not everything, but it is something. I’ve had success with it over a number of years, and so have many others – including my sons.

Many focus upon the templates: Boring But Big, Triumverate, Beach Body, Krypteia, and there’s gazillions more (just buy the books). Templates are one magic of 5/3/1. I assert the real power of 5/3/1 is the principles.

5/3/1 was founded upon 4 principles: emphasize big, multi-joint movements; starting too light; progress slowly; break personal records. When you understand what drives and underlies these principles, it continues to hold no matter what you do. I shifted back to 5/3/1 for a time, saw good results, but I’m not a young man any more and the wear and tear caught up with me so I’m shifting to more hypertrophy-oriented work (for a time). The 5/3/1 principles remain. Starting too light and progress slowly hold well in hypertrophy work as I ease into the novel stimulus). Big movements are good, perhaps with more stability, like a Cybex machine press. PRs can now be rep PRs, inches on my biceps gained, inches around my waist lost.

5/3/1 as originally conceived is not something I can do so much any more. However, the principles of 5/3/1 will forever carry me forward.

Where’s the fucking dot?

/ hsoi / 8 Comments

Yesterday was a Defensive Pistol Skills 2 day at KR Training. I was assisting Karl with class. After class, a few students reshot the Three Seconds or Less test, and I joined them on the line.

I shot with the Sig P365XL Holosun from my Enigma/JMCK. I finally picked up a Sport Belt (where have you been all my life you sweet thing!). I also chose to rotate my carry ammo, so throughout the day I shot up my Gold Dot 124 grain +P.

First thing I noticed was I was going back into the holster by the time students were just breaking their first shot. Getting out of the holster quickly has merit.

Second, I way failed the test.

Where was the fucking dot?

That’s all that kept going through my head.

Where’s the fucking dot?

I tried playing with some things like slide/window indexing. But still… where’s the fucking dot?

During class, I was running the shoothouse. Afterwards I cranked off some 25+ yard rounds to the 3-D reactive targets – behold the power of the dot.

If you can fucking find it. 🤪

I’ve not been dry practicing for a couple weeks. I’ve been massively burned out due to sleep issues. If I can’t increase my reserves I have to cut expenditures. It’s why I took the last week off from the gym, and why I’m readjusting my gym work with regards to fatigue management. In fact, I’m writing this on a late Sunday afternoon, where I’ve napped most of the day and am starting to regain myself. I rewatched this from Rob Leatham:

and I’m feeling a rise within to want to get back to work.

That’s a good sign.

Oh another thing. It’s ok to suck in public. A couple students stayed after and spectated the shooting. I – the instructor – failed and sucked in front of students/clients. On the one hand, I get the ego involvement and protection. On the other, as Jake the Dog said:

Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.

Jake the Dog, from the TV show “Adventure Time”

Rangemaster Practical Tactical 2022-06

/ hsoi / 9 Comments

On June 1, 2022 I was a student in the Rangemaster Practical Tactical Course presented by Tom Givens, hosted by Karl Rehn at the KR Training facility. I took this class not only because I appreciate a refresh on Tom’s doctrine, but it’s also part of my journey of the red dot pistol.

I was planning to make a video to post to my YouTube Series on Exploring the Red Dot Pistol, but the day job’s been stressful and I just wanted to be a student (no pressures of producing a video). So, you get a blog post. 😄

Practical Tactical

The Rangemaster Practical Tactical Course is 8 hours of intensive training in defensive marksmanship, proper gun-handling, and personal tactics. The class started in the classroom with Tom speaking on the importance of mindset. Tom dove into the 1986 FBI Miami shootout and the lessons it holds. Home security matters were addressed (tl;dr “lock your damn doors”). Staying safe in public. Who is around me? What are they doing? Active shooter realities. This classroom portion is the money of the class (or really, any class with Tom Givens) – the mechanical skill of shooting is, relatively, easy. But to have what? 5+ decades of direct knowledge, professionalism, and experience laying it down for you? People… that’s where it’s at.

I get the feeling the design of the class is half-classroom half-range. I say “feeling” because we experienced sudden, unpredicted downpours throughout the day and were confined to the classroom for a fair portion of the day. Tom of course being a wellspring of knowledge there was no shortage of things for him to teach, and so he did. Eventually the rain stopped and we went out. It’s a pleasure watching Tom run a range – I got reminded of a few places I need to tighten up.

Range work was strong on fundamentals. Note: Tom had the following prerequisite for the class:

Registration is strictly limited to students who have had any prior Rangemaster handgun course, such as Combative Pistol, Intensive Pistol, or Instructor Development. This assures that everyone is on the same page on Safety and Basic Marksmanship procedures, so we don’t have to use time in this class to cover those topics. This assures everyone of a better learning experience in this course.

(I think a KRT DPS1 grad would be minimal for this course)

In range work, Tom went over the 4-count drawstroke, refining technique. We did a lot of drawstroke, dry work, present from low ready, DTFAH, multiple hits, Parrot Drill. Good stuff. Very fundamentals, very much ensuring people have (minimum) competency.

For me, the range work wasn’t anything I couldn’t already do… but I had the dot. More on that in a moment.

I’ve taken around 150 hours of training from Tom – I’m familiar with what he teaches. I think this “Practical/Tactical” class makes a fantastic entry into the world of “The Gospel of Givens”. It is solid and well-considerate of topics for a 1-day class offering – it is rich in appropriate and relevant skills and information. I am happy people were introduced to Quickly, Carefully, Precisely. And again, the real money is the classroom material. Folks… THIS IS THE SHIT YOU NEED. And I’ll be real for a moment: I dunno how much longer Tom’s gonna keep doing this, so get your ass into one of his classes.

If you are more on the experienced side, this is still a valuable class. You can ALWAYS stand to hear the classroom stuff again – plus the way Tom tells it, well… you can tell he’s an articulate motherfucker who knows his shit. And the range time is excellent work on fundamentals – you will learn something new, that will help you along.

People go to classes because they want fun: a class has to be fun. It is a bit of an escape for most of us (e.g. I came home refreshed, actually! a day outside away from the computer…). Practical Tactical provides fun – you’ll get “pew-pew time”. But this is one of those classes where your satisfaction comes later, after class, when you realize how richer you’ve become for the experience.

Bottom line: a solid 1-day offering beneficial to those who wish to become richer in their knowledge of defensive handgun

Red Dot

I shot my Sig P365XL, curved trigger, Wilson Combat grip module, Holosun 507K (circle-dot), PHLster Enigma & JMCK Enigma Shell (recently adjusted).

My biggest problem was eye focus: I’m heavily myelinated on front-sight focus, so I wound up doing dot-sight focus. I’m also learning how to acquire (hunt for) the dot. I’ve been mostly working on the press-out, which implies ready positions like “high-compressed ready” (which is what is done at KRT). Tom works from the low ready – I haven’t worked that with the dot. The “on press-out” techniques to help you find/acquire the dot like starting slightly muzzle-up waving/dropping the muzzle as you get to extension to allow the dot to “drop in” – you can’t do that from low ready. So how the F do you manage low ready? What’s the trick there? Seriously, I’m asking – comment below.

I just have to continue to (un)learn it. I think I need more live-fire at this point, because recoil, sun, etc. It’s just going to take work – I need to get my eyes/brain seeing what needs to be seen here. I was thankful Doug Greig was AI’ing, as he was a solid resource for dot-specific tips.

To that… remember. The old man is 70, still uses irons, and outshoots all of us. Take that to the bank.

I was better in my grip… almost too good:

Blood blister, I reckon from a bottom-corner on the mag well. I’ll be taking some sandpaper to round off edges. I like the WC module, but it’s a trade-off for the part vs. something like a Boresight module. I have an off-the-shelf BS module, but I think to work in my hands I need a custom job, which is time and money so… yeah.

After adjusting the Enigma/JMCK setup, it’s working better. I need to get a sport belt…

It was an informative time. Things I see I could stand to do:

  • Do more dry work “at speed”
    • Think about that DTFAH skill.
  • Drive the gun, especially during dry work.
    • Small gun issues…
  • Continue to work on eye focus
  • Live work – use Gabe’s 4 technical skills, perhaps.

It was good to see Tom. I’m privileged to know and learn from him.

Tom Givens & John Daub (me)

Don’t be decrepit

/ hsoi

That is my “vision statement”: I don’t want to be decrepit.

Why do I go to the gym? Sure being bigger and stronger is cool, but it’s because I don’t want to be decrepit.

I made noises getting up and down from the ground to cuddle and play with my then-infant son – I was in my mid-20s? Not right. I was a smoker and got winded walking 2 flights of stairs to the office. Not right. I saw people, middle-aged-and-up, struggling to negotiate a “flight” of 3 steps. Not right.

I made up my mind: I don’t want to be(come) decrepit.

I don’t know when I will die, and I have so little control over it. I’m not rushing headlong into death, but I’m not out to avoid the unavoidable either. What I am doing is enabling myself to live this life while I have it. I don’t need to be wicked strong, but I need to be strong. I don’t need to have wicked endurance, but I need endurance. Being leaner is better. I need to be able to move and used my body in its entirety – picking up something that fell on the floor shouldn’t be an ordeal.

And yes, sometimes my definition of living life includes doing some stupid things and getting hurt (e.g. my pec strains), and understanding that while lifting is generally good for me it does wear on me too – but I enjoy it and I’m ok with the trade-off. And yes I know that despite my best efforts, I will still age, I will still fail, I will still fall apart, and I may become decrepit.

Yet… someday, I want to be like Sonny:

100 Day Challenge

/ hsoi / 8 Comments

In about 100 days, I will turn 50 years old.

I remember being a teenager and thinking “shit… 30? That’s fucking OLD.” And I couldn’t fathom what it meant to be “thirtysomething“. And here I am, about to turn 50.

About a year ago I thought to myself how it’d be cool to diet down, get lean, and post a thirst trap for my 50th birthday.

That won’t be happening.

I continue to fail at diet. But I continue to work at it. A few months ago I came to realize part of my problem is I’ve been very outcome-focused with my diet work – I should be process-focused. I am and can be process-focused in many other areas of my life, but diet for whatever reason escaped me. I’ve been focusing on process in my diet and while it’s not making a difference in my scale weight, it’s building habit – the habit that I will need when I start taking specific steps to drop weight (e.g. reduce caloric intake). So, it remains a struggle, but I struggle on.

The discomfort of the past few months is behind me. I’m settling into my new position at the primary job. And ahead I have no hard things to prepare for, like in 2019 when I had to stash off the Sig P365 adventure because I had to prep for Gabe White and Rangemaster Master Instructor. I mean, I shot my franken-P365 at the TacCon22 match – no qualms about sucking in public (much anymore). Seems now’s the time to make the switch to the red dot. I’ll suck for a while, and that’s fine.

There’s some other things about myself that I want to unfuck.

But that’s often the thing. People see all these things, big things, many things, monumental things. They dive headlong in with only so much plan and direction, or even manageability – and it often leads to failure. In software development we don’t implement a HUGE new feature (a “13 point story”) in one fell shot. No, we analyze the big and work to break it down into smaller, more workable, more consumable chunks (break it into 13 1-point stories). It’s also easier to pivot mid-way, if necessary.

I have big places I want to be with and for myself – but I need to start small. As I’ve been saying lately (inspired by Jim Wendler):

Slow progress is still progress.

That whole “journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” thing. A lot of baby steps consistently over time add up into some big changes. It’s easier to take baby steps every day.

“It’s always been one of my goals to standing press 300 pounds. In the summer of 2008, I did just that. When someone asked me what my next goal was, my response was simple: “305 pounds.” If you bench press 225 pounds and want to get 275, you have to bench 230 first.”

Jim Wendler

So here’s what I’m planning to do:

Read every day

I must read something every day. It doesn’t matter what, just so long as it’s meaningful, useful, growth-oriented. It doesn’t matter how much, tho keep it reasonable (I’d rather read 2 pages than fail to read 20… that whole “if a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly” thing). It can be a blog post (e.g. anything by Claude Werner), it can be a chapter or passage of a book. It can even be a YouTube video if it’s educational (e.g. I watched a Scott Jedlinski instructional video while on the treadmill earlier this week).

I want to ensure I consume something meaningful and growth-oriented every day. Not just the scroll of the feed and what the algorithms put in front of me. I want to build my tolerance for “sitting and staring at dead trees” and just be reading more.

“Yoga” every day

It’s not really yoga. Rather, it’s me making sure I move and use my body fully every day. I sit (curl into a ball) in front of a computer every day. I need to stand, I need to stretch, I need to squat and bend and twist and extend and flex and all those things. I want to ensure that every day I USE my body and all its muscles, joints, and parts.

I know what my body needs (e.g. right now it’s a lot of door stretches to open up my pec minor). So I am devising my own routine. I might even make 2, like a quick in-between-meeting thing or a longer session thing… a morning, an evening… I dunno, and I’ll see how it evolves.

I want to move my body every day. I would love to increase my mobility/flexibility. I don’t have to be a gymnast, but I know some improvement would help with some body alignments, issues, etc.

Workout every day

Basically this is that I go to the gym. If it’s a no-gym day, then I must dry fire.

While it’s not hard to motivate me to get to the gym, somedays I don’t want to go and must do it because discipline. This is pretty core to my habits and behavior and “who I am”. So while I don’t expect problems here, I also must use this as a tempering – I cannot afford to get injured, so I must curb my enthusiasm and play the long game.

I need to dry fire more, especially if I want to move to the red dot. I want to carry/shoot the P365XL (with Wilson Combat grip module, curved trigger, Holosun 507K-X2 2 MOA Dot or 32 MOA Circle Miniature Red Dot Sight – Red). Givens is coming in June and that’ll be a nice checkpoint. So… I better put in the dry and live work.

I want to grow stronger in these two disciplines.

Eating – and being less fat

I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of carrying this around. I’ve been tired for a long time, but it’s been a struggle. As I wrote above, I’ve adopted a more process-focused mindset and approach. I think it’s helping, but it’s going to take time. As someone said, it took you years to get fat; don’t think you’ll become lean overnight. It’s about getting the habits in place, really. I’ve been evolving habit for a long time, and it’s good, just slow. But again, slow progress is still progress.

One huge change? Mrs. Hsoi is helping. I love her cooking. I think that’s been the missing ingredient. I can make macro-correct food, but there’s no love. She’s been doing this for a few weeks now and it’s making a HUGE difference. Sure the food repeats every day, but it’s still something SHE made – and it’s just wonderful. For someone who has emotion and eating tied together, Mrs. Hsoi’s cooking hits the spot. I’m still focusing on just building habit right now (there’s more to it than this), but so far so good.

Ultimately I do want to be lean. I look at Vincent Dizenzo and his 11 years of progress. Process. That will give me progress. It’s also been wonderfully freeing to not stress so hard about the “scale weight” (and how I look naked); truly go through the process and don’t sweat it – it will come.

Here I go…

So there we are. Four things. I have a few other things, but those are private. To me, the “ask/demand/expectation” within each day is reasonable and small. But even if I only read 1 page a day, when I turn 50 I’ll have read 100 pages.

That’s pretty cool.

I’m keeping a spreadsheet. Provides a bit of a diary, but also some accountability.

Let’s see what happens.