Ego… it forced my hand, the gears change.
Wendler 5/3/1 program, cycle 21, week 1
- Work Set – Squat (working max: 315#)
- 2x5x45 (warmup)
- 1x5x205 (work)
- Assistance – Pause Squat
- 3 x 5 x 205
- Assistance – Leg Extensions
- 3 x 15 x 35
I had weird sleep patterns over the weekend, so I napped too late Sunday evening and thus couldn’t get to bed properly. Slept like crap. But I knew once I got under the bar all would be better.
For the most part it was.
I did as many sets without the belt as I could, only belting up for the last 2 sets. I liked that. But I could tell… this wasn’t going to happen.
Last couple reps of the last set? I didn’t hit depth. I was afraid of getting stapled. I shouldn’t have been afraid, either dump the bar, or if I only got 4 good reps then so be it. But alas, I didn’t.
In the end, I know it’s all ego. This cycle would have me squat 305 — breaking that 300# mark is HUGE in so many ways. Then if I keep going at 10# per cycle, that means next cycle is 315… 3 plates! Whoa! And if I look at my deadlift, I’m very close to 4 plates. I just want to keep on going! This gets me closer to my 1000# total goal, especially before the end of 2013.
I knew a reset was coming. I think it’s here.
I didn’t want to do it because I wanted to hit my numbers. I want to meet my goal. I don’t want to get derailed from my goals.
But to keep chasing them now is only going to lead to fail in some way or another.
I will get to my goal. Maybe not before the end of 2013, but if I just keep on, eventually I will get there. Does it really matter when? Well yes, to some degree because to get there 10 years from now really isn’t workable. But so long as I see the progress is right and reasonable, I will get there.
But I think a reset has to happen. Not just for the weights, but because…. of my weight.
I’m up to 240#. That’s not all muscle. In fact, I betcha I could stand to drop at least 40# of that — just fat. I’m tall (6’3″) and sure that doesn’t look like much but shit… that’s a wheel! That is a lot!
I can feel it. My gut is not where I want it to be. I hate feeling it when I bend over. I really am in love with AIWB carry and having a gut inhibits that.
I thought about all this really heavily over this past weekend. I think I’ve just been delaying the inevitable pending a good reason, and I think the good reason has arrived.
I don’t like the fat.
I am stalling and need a reset.
I think finally it’s time to let things come together.
So, I’m going to recalculate my maxes, drop back. Strive to build a little more muscle, but still lift heavy. To that end, I might try goign 7/5/3 instead of 5/3/1 — that we shall see. Yes, I’ll just start now. Leave this squat session in the books, and start with my benching on Wednesday.
I’m also going to have to get hard on my diet. This is my killer.
I don’t know what I’ll do precisely. Anabolic Diet? Apex Predator Diet? Carb Nite? Carb Back Loading? whatever. In the end, they’re all about the same: high protein, high fat, almost no carb, but occasionally you refeed on good carbs (and maybe a little junk). I still am not settled on which route to take, because having a protocol that I can follow and fits the other aspects of my life, great. But right now it doesn’t matter because they all basically start the same way: 1-2 weeks of no carb to get the body into ketosis. The main question for me is… how much?
I see 2 ways to calculate it. So if I need 40% protein and 60% fat (essentially) well… I can figure “needed kcals” and that’s supposedly for me something like 4350 a day. Then I figure protein and fat from there? Or do I figure that I need say 250g of protein, then figure that is 40% of what and calc from that end of things? That I don’t know yet…. but htere’s no question, I cannot “just eat” I do need to figure the amounts right…. because the world we live in has been so anti-fat for too long and so has my own diet, that I really need to figure out and ensure I get enough… else I know these dietary approaches fail.
Anyways, it all just starts now.
No figuring. No stalling. No delaying. No more thinking about it and figuring.
I need to do this shit now, because I’m tired of it. 1000# will come, just not as soon as I want…. and it’ll be even sweeter because I’ll be lighter and leaner, with better form, and better overall strength. So hey, life’s journey rolls on.