A PR, a miss, and I think I learned more from missing than PR’ing.
Wendler 5/3/1 program, cycle 17, week 3
- Work Set – Squat (working max: 295#)
- 2x5x45 (warmup)
- 1x5x225 (work)
- 1x2x285 (PR)
- Hold 315 for 10 seconds
- Assistance – Squat
- 5 x 10/10/8/8/8 x 150
- Assistance – Leg Curls
- 4 x 12 x 60
- Foam Rolling
I PR’d. I hit 285#, for 2 reps. Never done that weight (or reps) in my life. How cool! 300# is within reach, and 315# before the end of the year looks do-able.
But I only got 2 reps.
255 felt heavy. I think it started there… in my head. Seeds of doubt sown. *sigh*
I told myself all I need is 1 rep with 285.
I put the bar on my back, deep breath, tighten everything, lift out of the rack…. shit, that’s heavy — another seed.
I go down, and stand up. It was tough, but it was there. Yes! Set a PR. Everything else is gravy.
Go again… but this was much harder to get up. It was a struggle. But I got up. Stood there, got my wind. Fuck it… let’s try for 3, what’s the worst that can happen? I don’t come up.
And sure enough, I go down, and I didn’t come up. I tried, instant-fail. Couldn’t get out of the hole.
The only thing that caught me? How to get this off my back? Roll down my back or over my head? Well, gravity and the physics of my position dictated over my head. So I dropped down as much as I could, curled myself into a ball and let the bar roll over my head onto the rails.
And I didn’t care.
In fact, one thing I’m starting to do, at least at the end of my 5/3/1 work sets, is to put a larger weight on the bar and then just hold it. Just put it on my shoulders, unrack, walk out, hold it for like 10 seconds, then rack it. Just feel that weight, and realize that the weight you just did was lighter, and the weight you’ll do next is also lighter.
And I made sure I still did this. Still get up. Still get back under the bar. Keep moving forward.
It’s interesting to me because squats have been my least favorite movement. I still can’t say I love them, but I cannot deny I’ve spent the past few days looking forward to today’s effort. There’s been a lot of baggage to overcome, fears, stupid shit in my head… of getting hurt, of failure, of whatever. But some months ago I started to realize it didn’t matter because the worst thing is that you miss… and so what? And that’s exactly how it happened today. I missed, so what. It was truly no big deal. I didn’t quit, I didn’t give up, the bar was just too heavy, it didn’t happen.
Oh sure, I think I wasn’t quite in the mental groove, but even then I’m sure I would have only gotten 3, maybe 4 if I really was on fire. And that mental is something that will take nothing but time under the bar to improve upon.
But today’s miss was my first squat miss — ever. I never allowed myself to miss in the past, for whatever reason…. fear of failure, fear of injury, fear of pushing myself that hard, fear of the opinions of others, whatever reason. But today? I missed, and it didn’t matter. All it means is for cycle 18 I’ll stay at this work weight and work towards rep PR’s. No big deal.
OK… there is one big deal. My ribs hurt, from when I got bent over so much and my belt dug into me. It might be a 2-Advil kind of day. 🙂 and yes, I really would love it if the gym would buy a proper power rack and not what it has… could have set the catch-pins at a proper height (for me). Oh well, I won’t complain too much.
Otherwise, just continuing my “regression” back to a pure BBB template and enjoying that.
Already starting to plan out cycle 18.