Education

Some thoughts on socialization

/ hsoi

Heather, the Swiss Army Wife, points out an interesting article in Psychology Today magazine.

Here’s a direct link to the article.

The article is about how, at least here in the United States, we’ve built a cultural and social structure that created this thing known as the teenager. A state where they have a lot of freedoms and abilities, but yet they don’t. Where mentally and physically they are capable of many things, yet we’ve put massive restrictions and burdens upon them. As a result, we’ve created a lot of the “teenager vs. parent” conflicts and generalized teenager angst. It’s an interesting read.

One reason Wife and I choose to homeschool is because of the breadth of people our children are exposed to. Our kids are not locked in school rooms with 25-35 other kids about their same age and development level, day in and day out for the majority of their young lives. In fact, much of the time you go through each grade in school surrounded by the same people. Then many of them are involved in after-school activities, and often those involve the exact same people the kids see during the day with perhaps some specific variance but still generally divided by age/grade. So it’s really just this small slice of folks that the kid interacts with, all around the same age and development. It’s the blind leading the blind with sometimes far too often the only external guideance coming from less desirable sources like TV, movies, and other bits of popular culture. Granted you can expose children to folks of other ages and development levels, but “with our busy lives these days” that doesn’t often happen.

Homeschooling tends to lend itself to children being exposed to a cross-section of people of all ages. My children attend Daily Mass, which is mostly attended by elderly. When doing things in their 4-H program, they’re working with kids from ages 8 to 18. Even just in daily schooling the 3 kiddos are with each other, all of their different ages and development stages. There’s much to be learned from this, especially exposing kids to older folks (role models) and allowing your kids to sometimes be the older folks (role models). From the article:

Teens in America are in touch with their peers on average 65 hours a week, compared to about four hours a week in preindustrial cultures. In this country, teens learn virtually everything they know from other teens, who are in turn highly influenced by certain aggressive industries. This makes no sense. Teens should be learning from the people they are about to become. When young people exit the education system and are dumped into the real world, which is not the world of Britney Spears, they have no idea what’s going on and have to spend considerable time figuring it out.

This isn’t to say that homeschooling is the only way to get kids exposed to the right people, but it does show what homeschooling can offer, especially when the biggest concern folks have about homeschooling is “socialization”. Regardless of how your children are socialized on a daily basis (homeschooling, private school, public school, etc.), don’t worry so much if they are being socialized; if the children interact with other humans on a regular basis, they’re being socialized… even us homeschoolers let our children out of the dungeon once in a while. 🙂 Instead, concern yourself more with the quality of the socialization they are getting.

The pain of training

/ hsoi

I admit it. I’m human.

That means in my core I seek pleasure and avoid pain. It’s just how living things behave. However, as humans we have this ability to think and reframe things. We may undertake “small pain” if we know it will help us avoid “large pain” and there is some pleasure-seeking in such behavior. For example, giving a small child a spanking because they ran out into the street, that’s a small pain to help them learn to avoid the bigger pain of getting hit by a car. Letting your child turn in a term paper late and getting a failing grade is a small pain compared to the bigger pain of perhaps losing their job because they never learned how to work under deadlines. One advantage of studying a martial art that spars is you learn what it’s like to get hit and how to deal with it, a small pain compared to the first time getting hit being when someone is attacking you bent on taking your life. We can learn how to take small pain if we know it leads us towards a better end.

That said, the small pain is still pain, and at least speaking for myself, I still don’t like it. 🙂

I was reading this quip from John Farnam about training. It helped me reframe my mindset.

Good training is ever scary, demanding, and makes you feel inadequate and stupid. When you finish and ‘feel good about it,’ you probably weren’t pushing yourself hard enough. Learning takes place when you fail, not when you succeed!

I disagree that learning can’t take place when you succeed, but the overall point remains valid.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt inadequate and stupid during training. I didn’t shoot well enough, I got my butt handed to me, I got choked out, I totally botched this, I feel embarrassed about that. People learn who I am and due to my rĂ©sumĂ©/credentials think that I should be some badass, but then I get out there and while afterwards others may tell me I did great I still feel like I suck.

Next month I’ll be participating in a weekend-long seminar. It promises to be very intensive both in terms of shooting skills and hand-to-hand skills. I admit, I’ve been a bit anxious about the class because I know the teachers are demanding yet some of the best in the business. I know my skills will be pushed to the limit. I want to do well in the class, but I think my measure of doing well was “succeeding” at things: that I would shoot in the top 10% of the class, that my empty-hand skills would always lead me to victory in all the drills. After reading the quip, I have reassessed my measure of success: how much I learn. Even if I wind up at the bottom of the heap, that tells me what I need to do to improve. Deep down I know this, but being human, I guess there’s some need to satisfy ego, some need to save face and not look like a total doofus out there. I just have to make a bigger effort to be, as Bruce Lee said, “be a doll made of wood.”

Thus, any training worthy of the name is going to be both frustrating and ‘dangerous,’ no matter what safety procedures are in place. But, failing to train is even more dangerous, and the consequences ever appalling and irrevocable. Ask any commander who has lost a battle!

That’s the more important thing. To get out and train. To push myself beyond my limits. Allow myself to be humbled and embarrassed, so long as it means I’m learning something about myself. The only external opinions I should care about are those of the instructor, but then only so far as it takes to allow me to continue to learn. As a human, it’s tough to allow yourself to go through these small pains. I just have to keep reminding myself that the small pain will help me alleviate the bigger pain. 🙂

The dumbers are getting more dumberer

/ hsoi

Walter Williams, a professor at George Mason University, has published an article on the failed public school system.

The solution? Decentralization and competition (imagine that!):

Any long-term solution to our education problems requires the decentralization that can come from competition. Centralization has been massive. In 1930, there were 119,000 school districts across the U.S; today, there are less than 15,000. Control has moved from local communities to the school district, to the state, and to the federal government. Public education has become a highly centralized government-backed monopoly and we shouldn’t be surprised by the results. It’s a no-brainer that the areas of our lives with the greatest innovation, tailoring of services to individual wants and falling prices are the areas where there is ruthless competition such as computers, food, telephone and clothing industries, and delivery companies such as UPS, Federal Express and electronic bill payments that have begun to undermine the postal monopoly in first-class mail.

We homeschool our kids. Can’t get more decentralized than that!

TSRA Scholarships

/ hsoi

The Texas State Rifle Association just sent the following letter regarding scholarships:

The NRA Foundation has provided TSRA with funds to support five $2,000 scholarships for Texas students to attend universities, colleges and schools this fall. Please help TSRA get the information and the application form distributed to interested students prior to the due date, August 1, 2009.  Please pass this information on in club newsletters, post on your shooting interest websites, and help us find students that support our right to possess, own, and use firearms responsibly. TSRA and NRA will be proud to support five of these students in their educational efforts. Click the underlined link for details.

TUBB’S MEMORIAL SCHOLARSHIPS –  The Texas State Rifle Association is pleased to announce, we have 3, $1000. Scholarships available for the coming semester. If you can use the help please follow the directions below. Texas A&M Tubbs Scholarships.

Another class – post mortem

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Helped out with another Basic Pistol 1 class today.

There were 10 people in the class, 6 were female. Wide range of ages of folks too.

The class was good. People got to learn a lot, set a solid foundation, and try out a bunch of handguns to figure out what worked best for them. One of the best things about this course is the smorgasbord of handguns you get to shoot, because it helps you figure out what works right for you. The biggest issue is gun fit and being able to find a gun that fits you, thus you’ll be able to shoot well. You walk out of that class with the knowledge of how to be able to shop for a gun, how to buy ammo for it, and the basics of how to shoot it with good technique.

In today’s class, I happened to have my Springfield XD-9 Subcompact with me. I let people shoot it next to a full-sized XD-9 so they could compare and contrast. My point? I wanted them to see that you will shoot a large gun better than a small gun (all other things being equal, but for size). Larger guns have more frame to grip so you can get more  hand on them and better control them. Larger guns have a longer sight radius, so you can be more accurate. Larger guns are a little heavier, so they will absorb recoil better. This isn’t to say you can’t shoot a small gun well (more in a moment), but as a beginner you’ll find more success if you start out with a larger gun. Smaller guns are more concealable, but with the right strategy you can conceal a full sized gun without much problem.

On the small gun note, I actually did some shooting with my subcompact today and was quite pleased with the results. I don’t shoot that gun a lot, but because I’ve been improving my skills on the larger guns, all that came back down here. The only thing that wasn’t fun about shooting the subcompact was it has the factory sights: big fat front sight that fills up most of the rear notch (little light on the sides, harder to get things lined up), 3 white dots although I did black out the back 2 dots. I just like my Dawson Precision sights. Nevertheless, I was shooting some timed drills and did quite well because while I knew I had to shoot fast to make time I didn’t sacrifice good form for time… I didn’t rush just to get the shots off in time. I even recall a few times distinctly withholding the shot until I had the proper sight picture, my eyes focused on the front sight.

Speed is important, but I’d say accuracy is more important. No one cares about the first person to get the wrong answer, to miss, to screw up. Use good technique. Watch that front sight.

And I got to ride my motorcycle to and from the range. Gosh it’s hot out. 🙂  I’ve been having thoughts about selling my bike, but I enjoyed the ride too much today. I may not ride as much as I used to, but I think I’d be unhappy if I sold her.

ShivWorks

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I believe I first heard of “SouthNarc” and ShivWorks through KR Training. SouthNarc runs a lot of seminars on his own, but my angle in was via “full-spectrum” courses offered in conjunction with Tom Givens’ Rangemaster. Specifically, in September 2009 I’ll be taking a “combined skills” course with Givens and SouthNarc via KR Training. I’m looking forward to it, as both Tom Givens and SouthNarc are well regarded trainers. It should be a humbling but educational experience.

I’ve also become interested in checking out all I can from SouthNarc because he has a background in Filipino martial arts, which I’ve just started studying. As I tend to do when I get involved in new things, I like to devour all the knowledge I can on the topic, so I’ll seek out books, videos, websites, people, forums and obtain all the information I can. I’ve read numerous things online from and about SouthNarc, and watched some videos on YouTube. So the next step? ShivWorks has produced 4 DVD’s:

I purchased them through MD Tactical, who were very quick with order turnaround. I just received them in the mail and have started watching. I’m sure I’ll post some reviews as I complete each DVD.

Updated: added link to my review of PUC v1

On fear

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Last night I finished reading Col. Jeff Cooper‘s book To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth.

An interesting and enlightening book. Cooper, no question has his mind set in particular ways. You may not agree with him, but without question he’s been a major influence on the craft of shooting. The book comes across as a series of “talks” or stories on a topic. Some remembering past hunting trips, told as if you were sitting around a campfire having a beer and sharing with your mates. Some passages were Cooper’s take on pistols or rifles and how to use them properly. Certainly there was a dose of his philosophy, politics, and view on life and the world.

A common question from the hoplophobes (Cooper’s term) regarding gun ownership  is “What are you afraid of?”. Questions about your mental state and your level of paranoia inevitably arise. This passage from Cooper’s book struck me in this regard:

Danger, to be appreciated, must be known. Our lives were all forfeit when we were born, but the hour of our peril is not always apparent to us. As you read this you may be seconds away from a fatal heart attack, but you are not in danger – so to speak – since you do not know that you are. Danger, in this sense, is the awareness of the possibility of imminent death. It is always a shocking experience but it need not be terrifying – and it absolutely must not be allowed to become incapacitating.

“Fear” and “terror” are words too often used in the Age of the Common Man. When I was a lad they were not admissible. Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Tarzan, for example, said, “I do not know what you mean by ‘fear’. I do not want to die, if that is what you mean, but you speak as if there were something more to it than that.” Fear that nullifies a man’s ability to cope with the danger which gives rise to the fear is an unacceptable emotion. The awareness of peril, however, is not the same thing at all, because in properly organized personalities it heightens perceptivity, sets the heart and mind to greater activity, and stimulates the entire consciousness in a way not otherwise realized.

I like Cooper’s distinction here on the effects of fear. That is, if fear paralyzes you, that’s not good. If instead you are aware, accept, and acknowledge peril exists and it motivates you to greater things, that’s good.

I don’t think the world is as horrible as the mainstream media paints for us and taints our perception. I don’t think there is evil lurking around every corner waiting to pounce on me, my wife, my children. But I do know evil is out there, and it only takes one incident to be too many. I work to make myself aware of peril and allow it to motivate my heart and mind to greater activity. Denying it exists doesn’t make it not exist, it merely puts you in a state of denial. Not being prepared puts you at a disadvantage, regardless of context or situation.

Some people find it odd that I study defensive pistolcraft and martial arts, but yet my sincere hope is to never use them in contexts beyond training, practice, and recreation. Why study them if you intend to never (truly) use them? We study language because we wish to communicate with others. We study math because we wish to engage in commerce. We tend to study and learn things specifically because we wish to directly use them. But this martial stuff…. that’s one of those “I’d rather have it (the knowledge and skill) and not need it, than need it and not have it” sort of things.

Don’t fear the sun

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Linoge made a comment on my  posting “I’m not so sure about that“. As I wrote a reply I realized that what I had to say warranted a full-on blog posting. So here it is.

Wife and I have chosen to homeschool our kids. Why? Numerous reasons, but the key ones are the public school system sucks and we’re not rolling in enough dough to consider private school. I went to public schools all my life, Wife was in private Catholic schools. While I think my public school experience wasn’t too bad, I have heard from old friends with younger siblings how the same top-notch schools we went to have degraded. Due to things like “No Child Left Behind” concerns are less on true education and more on test scores. I know all too well how you can get an “A” on a test and walk out of the classroom knowing nothing (no cheating involved, it’s just about working/gaming the test and not on gaining true education and knowledge). So when Oldest was an infant and we started to think about our schooling choices, homeschooling wasn’t something we had ever thought about but the more we researched the option the more it appealed to us. Every year we reevaluate our options and approach because the bottom line is we want the best for our children and if situations change and there’s a better avenue, we’ll take it. So far no better avenue has surfaced and we continue to homeschool our children.

Of course, whenever you mention the word “homeschooling” to someone, the Pavlovian response is “But what about socialization?”. The “S” word. Socialization takes on a different meaning these days and frankly that’s socialization we can do without. And certainly homeschoolers can be a little bitter about the FAQs we’re constantly hit with. But if there is one thing I’m well aware of it is that my children can be sheltered due to homeschooling. Since they are not surrounded by those of their age group for 8 hours a day every day, there’s no question my children don’t receive the “socialization” that kids attending public or private school receive. In part that is one reason for homeschooling, because we can exert more control and influence over our children, who they are exposed to, what influences them. Remember that not all influences are good ones, and even with our controls our kids still get exposed to bad ones (Oldest had a bully situation at a summer camp last year). But I know that my job with my children is to provide them with the skills and knowledge that enables them to not just survive but thrive in the world. My children are only spending a short time with me; most of their life and time is going to be spent as an adult in the real world, so they need to know how to work with the real world — which includes knowing how the real world is, good and bad and ugly. To truly shelter my children is not doing them any sort of service.

I admit that you shouldn’t expose your children to all things, or at least that you have to be mindful of when and how to expose them. There is something about making things age-appropriate and ensuring the child has the maturity and capability to understand and handle what you’re doing. Let’s take guns as an example. There’s not much reason to introduce an infant to guns, but as soon as infant is able to be mobile (about 6 months, crawling stage), you as a responsible parent and gun owner must take steps to secure your firearms because that infant will get into everything and knows nothing and no amount of attempting to teach them about guns is going to help. As your child gets older and can understand what guns are about, even if they cannot fathom death, it can be reasonable to start to introduce things to them. For instance, if you’re watching cartoons and Bugs Bunny puts his carrot into the muzzle-end of Elmer Fudd’s shotgun and Elmer just gets a blackened face, it’s worthwhile to start explaining to your child the difference between fantasy and reality. Then when you think your child is able to handle more regarding guns, you can expose them as you wish. Look at Kathy Jackson’s articles on Kids and Guns for some excellent writings on the topic. If nothing else, and certainly when kids are at a younger age, you should introduce them to Eddie Eagle. His message of “Stop. Don’t touch. Leave the area. Tell an adult.” teaches nothing about gun handling, but a lot about keeping kids safe if they encounter a gun.

Do my children know about guns? Certainly. I make guns no mystery to them, and frankly this has caused them to think of guns as rather mundane with little appeal. I think that’s a good thing as there’s no forbidden fruit syndrome to make guns enticing. Do I care about teaching them defensive uses of firearms? No, not at this point. Right now I just teach them safety rules, marksmanship, fundamentals, and most of all to just have fun. Sometimes if something comes up, sure I’ll discuss it, but it’s not hypercritical at this point to give them intensive defensive handgunning 101. But basic ways to stay safe? Sure. Things like the InSights ABC’s (Always Be Cool). To be aware of surroundings and trust your gut. And certainly other more specific things get taught, just not some intensive course like I might enjoy taking. The reality is that shit happens, and if the shit happens to my kids I want to ensure they’re able to return home. The thought of not being able to hold and hug my child is most unappealing to me, and it’s my duty and responsibility as a parent to ensure they have every skill and bit of knowledge possible to ensure their success in life.

I don’t live my life in fear, and I do my best to encourage my children to do the same. Yes they have fears, but I teach them true ways of being empowered to conquer those fears. Allow and accept the fears to happen, face them, let them pass over and through you, learn to control them, and channel them to your advantage. I remember when my kids first climbed a ladder and they’d only go up a few steps, but then the day came when they climbed to the top and gleefully shouted “Dad look! I did it!” Small thing perhaps, but the lesson is they were afraid of the height, of the new experience, but they didn’t let the fear stop them and in the end they conquered their fear. This has enabled Oldest to enjoy having the upper bunk-bed; how life is better when you don’t live in fear, eh?

You only have so much time and so much energy in life, why expend it on fear? How much life can you enjoy? Fear is what leads to sheltering, and while I won’t say it’s not justified, if you’re always stuck in the shelter you never get to see the sun and all the beauty that comes from it.

Blueguns

/ hsoi / 11 Comments

Tam’s random gun post mentioned Ring’s Blueguns.

I’ve got one of these that replicates a Springfield XD-9 Service model. The detail is amazing. It’s a direct mold and that’s what makes it so nice. It has the same feel as your carry gun, fits in the same holsters, everything except weight, trigger pull (of course), and perhaps any custom mods you have have done (e.g. sights). In my case, I did have to take the Dremel to it because the grip safety button was molded too… but whereas on the real gun the safety depresses and you never feel it, it’s solid on the bluegun and thus doesn’t depress and is irritating in the hand; a little Dremel work and it was gone and feeling like the real XD would in the hand.

The great thing about such training aids is you can use them for all manner of training that doesn’t require live fire, nor would you want live fire. With this big block of blue plastic in your hand, there’s no mistaking it for a gun (no rules violations). It’s good for working with a partner… you have the bluegun in your concealed holster, you work with a partner in a live scenario, and you can roll right into defensive actions including drawing and pointing the bluegun at them. Safety.

I often use my bluegun at home when I’m practicing mixed combatives and don’t want to risk damage to any real guns while I’m practicing something. I also think it’s a little less bothersome for any neighbor that might see me practicing.

Rings offer a lot of things, not just guns (e.g. replica pepper spray cans, radios, etc.). It’s all meant to help you perform training exercises where you need the realism but not the dangers.

Why does anyone need one of those?

/ hsoi / 5 Comments

This is something that’s been rolling around in my head for a while, but after this, I figure it’s time to move some electrons.

The catalyst is a comment in an opinion piece by Robert F. Green at the Fallbrook Bonsall Village News titled “Gun ownership has brought lawnessness”. I’m focusing on this passage from Mr. Green’s article:

Single-shot rifles and shotguns for bona-fide hunting is okay, but handguns, assault weapons and the like are a no-no! Come on, America, let’s grow up! This is not cowboys and Indians.

What caused the following thoughts to begin rolling around in my head was a comment made by a relative. This relative is no stranger to guns, a hunter. A few weekends ago Wife attended a large gathering of family (I regretfully was unable to attend). My understanding is a discussion came up between the relative and another at the gathering, Wife overheard something to the effect of “I don’t understand why anyone needs one of those” referring to your modern rifles with black plastic parts. Wife kept her mouth shut because it wasn’t a conversation she wanted to get into. Wife told me about it afterwards and it stuck in my craw ever since. You see, I own some of “those” and I’d like to explain a few things about them and why I choose to own them… or rather, why someone would want and/or need one of those.

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