Yes, fuck your trauma. My sympathy for your suffering, whether that suffering was real or imaginary, ended when you demanded I change my life to avoid bringing up your bad memories. You don’t seem to have figured this out, but there is no “I must never be reminded of a negative experience” expectation in any culture anywhere on earth.
If your psyche is so fragile you fall apart when someone inadvertently reminds you of “trauma”, especially if that trauma consisted of you overreacting to a self-interpreted racial slur, you need therapy. You belong on a psychiatrist’s couch, not in college dictating what the rest of society can’t do, say or think. Get your own head right before you start trying to run other people’s lives. If you expect everyone around you to cater to your neurosis, forever, you’re what I’d call a “failure at life”. And you’re doomed to perpetual disappointment.
And then, learn to come to terms with it. Learn to deal with your hardships and overcome them by you becoming a better, stronger person (and get help if you need it); not by expecting the world to cater to your neurosis.
Look at truly successful people in life – by whatever definition of “success” you wish to use. None of them achieved success by letting hardship get the best of them. They experienced pain, difficulty, obstacles, and probably a lot of vile shit from people and the world around them. Instead of getting upset about it, they got motivated and made themselves better. They didn’t expect the world to cater to them, they understood that change starts with the self and so that’s where they effected change. The result? Their success.
But hey, if you want to fail at life, that’s your choice. It’s not mine.