Hit 265 today… which is not a number I’m proud of.
After waking up this morning, on a whim I stepped on the scale.
265#
Holy crap. I’m getting fat.
I remember hitting 240 and thinking how that was the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. Obviously that makes 265 the (new) heaviest.
I know what it is. I’m eating too much.
Yeah, I gotta eat a lot more than usual, but I know I’m eating excessively — that’s the problem.
I’m a stress eater, a comfort eater. I’m under a LOT of stress these days, trying to start up life as a freelancer/indie-developer. It’s a startup, and it’s just work work work, and lots of stress and worry about things. I am very happy, don’t misunderstand. But there’s no denying the higher stress level because I just don’t have the comfort of the assurance of a paycheck every 2 weeks, that there will be work for me tomorrow, and so on. Have to spend time doing a lot of not-fun things to run a business, and being a new adventure (read: making mistakes, learning a lot) well… it’s full of stress.
So I have 2 bowls of ice cream… with chocolate chips. I have one of my wife’s awesome cookies… then another… then another. Next thing you know? 500-1000 extra calories in a day. And that obviously adds up.
sigh
So I’m angry with myself. Today’s session didn’t have my head in it because I was pissed at myself.
“Gee, you could get more pullups if you weren’t such a fat ass…”
Or trying to do the 100 rep curls, well… I hate doing reps, so it’s more of a mental thing than a physical thing. I stopped at 80 reps because I just didn’t have the mental in place. I rested 10 breaths then cranked out the last 20. But I was just so distracted and pissed off at myself.
But it’s been coming for a while. I’ve been struggling over the past few years to shed the fat. If you’ve read my logs, you’ve seen my ups and downs, my attempts and failures. But a few months ago I realized what I need: help.
I cannot do this alone. Part of it is just not knowing the right things, being overloaded and confused by so much information out there (so much of which is conflicting), and well… accountability. I understand as an educator that for all the self-teaching and self-driving one can do, sometimes you need a teacher because that’s the best way.
I decided a few months ago that I was going to get someone to help me. Recently I settled upon Renaissance Periodization. I haven’t contacted them yet, but the plan is to finish out the Strong-15 cycle, tho I may shorten it (e.g. instead of finishing the 9 weeks, taking a 50% week, then a week off, then testing; I may finish the 9 weeks, take a short break, then test… like rest up with a long weekend, then test squat and deadlift on a Wednesday and bench on a Friday, or take the whole week and test all 3 on the Friday). But I want to finish out the cycle. Then contact RP and get on their 6 month diet program. I figure if people lose 1-2# per week, I need at least 6 months… at least. While on that program, I’ll probably do more bodybuilding style lifting, maybe Paul Carter’s basebuilding — it will be about trying to preserve muscle mass, tho I’m sure I’ll be fighting a losing battle of muscle mass and strength, but that’s OK because I finally want to win the fat battle.
Meantime, I won’t change my diet much, but I gotta ease up on the meaningless food. I can’t go cold turkey, I’ll go apeshit. But instead of a cookie here and there, just have one cookie after dinner or something like that. I just gotta ease back. I doubt I’ll lose any weight, but I just don’t want to gain any more.
So… that’s the plan ahead.
Based upon Paul Carter’s Strong-15 (LRB365)
Phase 3-3, Week 1-3
- BW x 2
- BW x 1
- BW x 1 x 3 – negatives only
- 135 x 10
- 135 x 10
- 70e x 12
- EZ-Bar x 100
Stuff From Hsoi 