Truly, your mind is the strongest part of you.

Wendler 5/3/1 program, cycle 18, week 3

• Work Set – Squat (working max: 295#)
  • 2x5x45 (warmup)
  • 1x5x120
  • 1x5x150
  • 1x3x180
  • 1x5x225 (work)
  • 1x3x255
  • 1x4x285 (PR)
  • hold 315
• Assistance – Squat
  • 2 x 20/10 x 150
• Assistance – Leg Curls
  • 2 x 25/20 x 40
• Foam Rolling

So I busted through. Last cycle I struggled to get 2 reps with 285 and dumped the bar going for 3.

Today I got 4 pretty strong reps. Oh sure, they weren’t a technique clinic, but I went all the way down and told myself if I don’t come up, then I don’t. At least I’m not going to half-ass it, so to speak.

Am I truly stronger than I was last cycle? On paper, sure. In reality? not so sure. Probably so, but I think the difference between last cycle and today is my mental state.

I’ve had so many things on my mind lately. My brain has NOT been into my training sessions. I’ve been thinking about this, that, and the other; what I need to do, what I’ve done, what I have yet to do, what’s still on my to-do list, what design problem I’m dealing with, what drama I don’t need in my life…. whatever. So many things on my brain.

But finally I’m over some humps, various things are coming together or winding up, and my brain is less cluttered. I took the weekend to relax. I napped a lot. I did break CBL discipline and ate fairly decently — I even think that was needed for my head because CBL is still something I have to intentionally do, it’s not just a natural part of me; thus it draws from finite energy stores. And so today? All I did was be “in the moment”. Oh sure, it wasn’t perfect… I might dance around here and there. But I told myself if I wasn’t thinking about the lift, then I could only think about lifting-related stuff. No work, no play, no friends, no family, no nothing other than the weight at hand.

It paid off.

I felt the weights like I hadn’t in a long time.

I felt my muscles moving.

I could feel and “see” what my body was doing, or failing to do.

“Tight” was the cue for today, and I used it because I could immediately notice what my body was doing — no distractions.

Oh sure… I put that 285 on my back. I walked it out. Stood there for a moment to get a new breath…. and suddenly my brain flashed. One of those “life flashing before your eyes” types of moments. But it wasn’t that I was going to die, per se. It was my brain trying to come up with a way to handle the failure — that if I was going to fail again, how to handle the fail. I was a little annoyed, but it happened, I didn’t intend for it, but the subconscious did it… and I let it go and pressed on. In a way, it was comforting because I knew there was a plan, but it also drove me because there was no way I was going to enact that plan. Not today!

So I felt good.

I’m 15# away from 300, and 30 from 3 wheels. Damn that’s so close I can taste it. No, I don’t want to let my ego drive me, because that will just get me hurt. I am debating if I should take my working-max up by 5# or 10#. If my mental state and life-stress works out right, I think I can jump 10# and be fine, so that’s presently what I’m leaning towards. Hell, I spent all this past weekend thinking about today’s squat. I geared so much towards it: rest, eating, whatever. I was going to make this lift. And frankly, if I have the mental “time” to spend thinking about my squat so much then yeah… life’s freeing up a bit. 🙂

In other news… I’m continuing my exploration into high-reps… like beyond 15+ reps… 20 rep squats, 25 reps, 50 reps, maybe 100 rep curls… who knows. Lots of stuff here. I’ll write on this some other time. But I will say… I almost couldn’t walk home from the gym this morning after those higher-rep squats and leg curls. 🙂