The choice of words is awesome:

A burglary suspect had the opportunity to visit a local hospital after meeting a Marine whose parents’ home he attempted to burglarize Friday.

The opportunity to visit a local hospital… after meeting a Marine. ha ha ha ha. 🙂

Full Story.

Apparently the police report was pretty funny too, saying:

Pohle [the Marine] was said to have “escorted Schwanke to the ground.”

Escorted. Ha!

Failure of the victim selection process.