Got nothing.
Prepping for a weekend of learning.
Feeling run down from all the dieting.
Work is good, but just exhausting.
Haven’t had enough time with Wife and Kiddos.
Paying attention to most of the world around me, all I see is people being mean, nasty, closed-minded, bitter, harsh, “if you don’t agree with my narrow view then you are an asshole and should die a horrible death” types of attitudes.
I read Orange Goblin is going to tour the world in 2013, but it seems their only Austin show will be during SXSW… too many bands I want to see do this, and it means they won’t get much of a set nor that I’ll get to see them because I can’t justify the expense of SXSW for just one band. *sigh*
I’m just not feeling it right now.
I think it’s just a feeling of being worn out, and each feeds into the other. The diet has me running on fumes, which makes it harder to work, which leaves me more tired, which leaves me just wanting to go to bed, which means less time with the family, which bums me out, which leaves me not wanting to do anything, haven’t been taking the dog out on morning walks (which is part of my exercise), hard to want to do my own programming projects (which I’m stoked about, but I’m just pooped), and so on. I have been thinking about taking a day or more off the diet to try to refresh myself. I just don’t want to risk regression. I’m teetering on that edge tho. I’ve caught myself starting to slack on the diet, or allow myself a little something here or there to try to take the edge off. Not good.
Still going to try to smile tho. 🙂 Forge onwards.
Stuff From Hsoi 
I often have the same reaction when I find out my favorite bands are touring, but that their only Austin stop is during SXSW or ACL. Neither are my idea of an optimum environment for taking in the music.
Which part of the diet do you feel is leaving your body lacking for fuel?
I’m happy for the band to get to tour, to play SXSW is good for them and their career and all that. But I’m just bummed I won’t be able to see them. Happened last year with Corrosion of Conformity too. And then, they won’t be back for a while because that counts as “playing Austin” tho it really isn’t. *sigh*
The diet? Well, it’s just that it’s got me low on fuel. It’s set up to be about 20% under my normal needs. So far doing a 40/40/20 split on macros is serving me well, but it’s only giving me “just enough” fuel to get by. Or rather, it’s slowing the drain. My fat loss is happening, which is the whole point of the exercise, but you know… I’m just not topping off my tank… I can’t, that’s the whole point.
I know in some regards it’s physical. I can feel it in my workouts.
But I also know that it’s a LOT mental… all the denial is wearing on me mentally. I know it’s for a greater good and so i stick with it. But it still wears on me.
Yes, SXSW is (arguably) good for the bands, not so much for most of the fans. At the same time, I do appreciate the energy that comes with so much musically creative talent being focused in Austin for that week. Definitely an up side to it, but it also comes with a price for Austinites who lack the desire or money to dive into the middle of it all.
I hear you on the diet. Sounds like its at least working in terms of the fat loss. Do you think you’re just going through an adjustment period in terms of the energy level?
Putting on my old-fart hat… I liked SXSW back in the early days, when it was about bands and music and a lot of fun. Now, it’s become the thing it was fighting against. I still think it’s a cool thing and I’m happy for its success, but I just no longer want to be part of it.
I think part of my feeling may be adjustment, but I do think it’s more because I’m intentionally underdoing it specifically so my body will attack its fat stores. Just how it goes.
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