Last night I saw a video of some attrocious gun handling and posted my *headdesk* thoughts about it.

Now that I’ve slept on it, I can step back and say more about why this bothers me, instead of just the play-by-play of my prior post.

Of course, the casual gun handling and lack of rules respect and discipline bother me. But it really goes deeper.

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.”

Jan is trying to show how she’s a big 2A supporter. It’s evident at least one of the women on that show is NOT comfortable with guns, and it seems like the other one isn’t either, or at least is understandably uncomfortable with having a gun pointed at her. And no, it doesn’t matter if the gun is loaded or not, and no I can’t trust you if you say “it’s unloaded” because far too many people have had the last words they hear be “It’s OK, it’s unloaded”. None of us are above screwing up (we’re human), so we MUST be disciplined in our adherence to and practice of gun safety rules to minimize the chance of unacceptable consequences.

Jan is trying to win people to her side of the debate. Unfortunately her behavior isn’t going to win converts.

#1 – you don’t point a gun at someone. That’s likely going to close them off to anything you have to say.

#2 – you must understand your audience and shape your message to them.

If someone is “way over there” on a topic, and you’re “way over here”, you cannot carry on in a manner like someone “over here” because it’s just too far away. It’s too huge a leap, too large a gap for the person “over there” to overcome. What you, as the speaker wishing to persuade, must do is take yourself “way over there”. It isn’t just meeting halfway, but going well over to their side. You talk to them, you address them in their terms, in their mode. You engage them on their ground. Why? Because they are more comfortable there. Establish yourself there, then you can slowly move back “over here” and guide them along with you.

So if Jan could know the other ladies were afraid of guns, how about not bringing a gun on set in the first place? Just talk with them. Or if there’s a need for a prop, could you use a fake gun? Or how about a real gun with a training/inert barrel — that you installed at home before you brought the prop on-set so it never has a chance to cause discomfort due to handling the gun. Or if you need a fully functioning real gun, how about keeping the slide locked back the whole time? Or of course, how about just adhering to good gun handling, or at least never pointing the gun at the hosts and brushing off their concerns. And if you get called on your error (which Jan was), instead of blowing it off, own up to your mistake, apologize, and correct yourself. You’ll gain far more respect for owning up to your mistakes.

I couldn’t watch the whole video, and that’s a shame. Whatever message Jan had after the first 3 minutes was lost. A light scanning through the comments on the video and it looks like most commenters had problems with her gun handling too. So you can see what message came through the video, which means her intended message was lost.

Of course now Jan could make good out of this bad situation by admitting her mistakes, and maybe signing up to take some basic gun handling classes at a reputable training center. She could even document it. And then hopefully continue to exercise what she learned and really lives it, instead of just making for a photo op.

You’ve got to know your audience. You can’t talk with a beginner the same way you talk with an advanced student the same way you talk with someone totally on the other side of the debate. You can make the same message, you just have to shape how you convey it in terms of your audience.