Last night, Wife had a workshop to attend so it was just me and the kiddos.
We had dinner at home, then opted to go out for ice cream. The particular shop we went to has a place outside where you can sit, kids can run and play, and you can just enjoy the evening. The weather was fantastic last night, so outside we went. Being a gorgeous Friday night, lots of other people were out and about, many kids running around, chasing each other, playing. A good night.
As soon as we found a spot, we sat and started to eat. Not a few seconds later did I look over and see a little girl maybe 8-10 years old lying in the grass on her back, crying pretty hard, holding her head. One of her friends was kneeling over her asking if she was OK. I could hear the crying girl affirming she was OK, so as I watched for a few seconds I was observing a few things: was she in fact OK? give it a few seconds to see if she shakes it off, gets up, and keeps on playing? Parents coming over to check on her? Well, I saw none of this. Little girl remained on the ground crying, no adults whatsoever coming around. In fact, there was a lady sitting on a rock between me and the little girl (i.e. right there not 10 feet from the girl, closer than I was) and the lady never made a move to check on the girl.
After a few seconds, I opted to go over and check on the girl. I asked her if she was OK, she continued to nod yes and got up off the ground, sill crying, but I could tell she was OK. She ran off to go find her parents. I watched the girl run off, over the hill, down to another restaurant then lost track of her. A minute or so later I noticed a couple of the other girls that were in the same pack were pushing each other with mean looks on their faces and one got knocked to the ground. I was “this close” to stepping in but as soon as the one girl hit the ground everything broke off on their own. As I saw these girls throughout the evening, they were all still playing with each other so who knows what the social dynamic was.
So what bugged me about this?
That no one cared.
The place was swarming with adults, but there’s a little girl… crying… lying on the ground in pain. And no one noticed. No one (but me) cared. If anyone did notice, they didn’t feel any motivation to check on her and help her. I’m not painting myself as a saint, but rather an observation of how oblivious people are.
As my own children played and ran around, I kept an eye on them but also watched all the other people. Task fixation was rampant. People minded their own children to some extent, but then there was little mind paid to what was going on around them. I was just a bit appalled. Why is this? What has come of our society?
Furthermore, I watched other children on the playground. I saw the general lack of manners, turn taking, consideration for others. Then I saw their parents, and the role model was evident. Not all were this way, but many were.
Then we walk through the parking lot and I see people just walking out in front of moving cars. I don’t care if you have a legal right of way, if the driver doesn’t see you, you will lose the battle with the ton of steel hurtling towards you. Why do people do this? Sense of entitlement? Ignorance? An “I’m right and fuck you!” attitude? I don’t get it.
Just how disheartened should I be in my fellow man?
I am no saint. I used the opportunities from last night to talk with my children to reinforce some valuable lessons (teachable moment). Yes sometimes you have to resist, but sometimes it is better to yield. Pay attention to the world around you. Be polite. Treat people as you want to be treated. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Stuff From Hsoi 
Interesting thoughts you had there, and yes, a time for a teachable moment.
I hate coming across as an elitist, because I certainly don’t think I’m better than anyone. I’m just some guy, I’m really nobody special.
But I see some little things that build up into making the world a crappy place. I choose to not be that way and try (and sometimes fail) to live the way I’d like things to be. If I’m going to be doing my job as a Dad, it’s even more important to live my life in a manner that I want my children to see.. for I know I am their #1 role model.
Sometimes failing is called being human. We all do that from time to time despite our best intentions.
Oh I know. We are human, we do make mistakes. Mistakes are generally OK, especially if you learn from them and improve yourself. There are times when mistakes are less acceptable (or totally unacceptable), but typically those are preceded by events that allowed you to make mistakes and learn so as to minimize the chances of mistakes when any mistakes might be too costly. But thankfully for most of us, those times are few and far between.
I also let my children see that I make mistakes. If I screw up, I apologize and work to make it right. That I too am learning, that I don’t know it all, but as Dad, sometimes I do know something and might be worth listening to (despite all of their teenage wisdom that implies they know it all and I know nothing). 😉
Furthermore, I try to give other people some slack on this too. Maybe that couple walking out in front of the cars in the parking lot made a mistake… I won’t condemn them for it (despite seeing them doing it over and over), but I can use it as an example to learn from. So again, mistakes aren’t all bad, especially if you can learn from them. 🙂
It seems I directed this comment to the wrong post. I meant it for this one:
This made me think of rat studies by John Calhoun in the 60’s:
Quoting Wikipedia:
“During his studies, Calhoun coined the term “behavioral sink” to describe aberrant behaviors in overcrowded population density situations and “beautiful ones” to describe passive individuals who withdrew from all social interaction.”