I don’t know if it was Texas itself that started to shape me, but I would like to think that Texas being Texas at least enabled me to evolve this way. From the people, to the way of life, to the laws and landscape. I think if I lived in California things would be different. I would also like to think that a big change came from being married and having children. I’m the head of my house. I’m the sole source of income and “providing” for this family. I have people whose lives depend upon me. I would reason that had the biggest impact on me. Certainly I found myself investigating Libertarianism more. People like Harry Browne were pretty cool to me, and this Ron Paul guy was great because his Congressional District was right next door! When we were looking for our second house, one reason we thought Bastrop might be such a nice place to live was because it’s within Ron Paul’s district and it’d be wonderful to have him representing us. But probably the biggest thing that grew on me was self-reliance, personal responsibility.
I see people standing at the intersections in town wanting a handout. Same intersection, same people, day in, day out, for years. If these people really wanted help in getting off the streets and doing something with their lives, they’d be making a bigger effort. But they’re not. They have their well-decorated signs, some even asking for pot as well as food and money. I’m sorry, but this behavior just reeks of a parasitic lifestyle that wants something for nothing. I just don’t jive with it. You’re telling me that I’m supposed to bust my ass to make money, then you just want me to give you some so you can blow it on drugs or booze? Not just “no” but “Hell Fucking No!” There’s no desire to take any sort of responsibility for themselves, no desire to rely upon themselves. Now if someone truly is homeless, truly is down on their luck, these people will be able to find help. My family and I do give, money and food and time to help out in avenues that we know can help out people in need. Granted there are probably some in that avenue that are taking advantage of the system, but at least I know I’m giving to a means that tries to seriously help folks that want to help themselves, instead of folks that just want to leech off me.
It also comes from the fact that there’s no one that’s going to help me. Now granted I know if I’m really in a bind I can get help. But basically I can’t just stick my hand out and expect someone to fill it to feed and clothe and shelter myself and my family. I have to do it. If I want something, I have to go get it. I have to take care of myself and my family. So to that end, when my wife and I had our first child we of course started to think about educating the child. I can’t recall how the seed was first sown in our heads, but we knew there were three options: public school, private school, and home school. Private school was out merely because of cost (tho maybe if I didn’t have to give up a portion of my income every year to a system I don’t use I might be able to afford a private school). Public school wasn’t high on our list because while I attended public school, it’s a failing (failed?) system. I believe it’s become nothing but glorified babysitting, children are treated without respect, teachers are given no authority or ability and are basically neutered in both what they can teach and how they run their classrooms. It’s just a fiasco and I refused to subject my children to it. I could go on, but that’s another subject for another day. So that leaves us with home school. It wasn’t a bad decision though, because my wife’s degree is in early childhood education, so what a plus! The only real downside was it would mean we’d be a single-income family, but we’re doing ok and the sacrifice is worth it.
This perhaps plays back into living in Texas, both the zeitgeist of the state but also the laws. Laws regarding home schooling in Texas are fairly open and unregulated, which is wonderful in the true sense of freedom. Of course some people feel that lack of regulation means that the children will come out with some sort of substandard education. To that I offer a few things: 1. explain to me how government regulation equates to superior results? not just in education but in just about anything the government (over) regulates. 2. the government currently regulate public schooling, and that’s not exactly a stellar example. 3. come speak with my children and judge for yourself. Don’t worry about their socialization either as we’ll let them out of their dungeon into the sunlight to grunt speak with you for 30 minutes (yeah, I’m still sarcastic at times). The larger point of our choice of home schooling though comes back to taking care of ourselves. Why is it someone else’s job to educate our children? Why isn’t it our own job? Why is it that at 6 weeks old we shove our children into the primary care of strangers, and they remain in the primary care and influence of others until they’re at least 18 years old? They keep calling for more parental influence, yet we do more that causes us to distance ourselves from our children. They call for more parental involvement in our children’s lives, yet we’re not willing to make the sacrifices to put ourselves more into their lives. No this isn’t easy, but since when was life supposed to be easy?
So while it’s nice to get help from others, I do my best to be self-reliant and be responsible for myself. Another area of this is one of self-protection and self-preservation. When we first moved to Austin we lived in an apartment complex in a nice part of north Austin. One day I was at work and my wife opted to take a walk around the complex pushing our then infant son in his stroller. My wife spied a man across the street behaving strangely. Next thing she knew he was across the street, grabbing her breast, then running off. My wife was shocked, ran to the apartment complex office for help. They called the police, then called me. I of course left work and never found myself so angry. My wife had been violated. Now the thing is, this isn’t the first time such a thing has happened to my wife. My wife is a petite woman: 5’4″ 105 lbs. She is attractive, she’s small, and she looks vulnerable. Add in pushing a child in a stroller and she comes across as an even better target. After that day our behaviors changed. We got an alarm system installed, and we’ve had an alarm system on every residence since that time. To boot, we use the alarm system regularly. As well, when we walk in public, it is my job to be big. I am 6’3″ and around 200 lbs, mostly muscle. It perhaps looks bad to the outside world that there’s this big strong man walking around empty handed while his little wife is burdened down with children and bags, but this is our choice of how to carry on. The reasoning? It’s my job to be big. If I’m burdened, I cannot act. If a child is in my hands, I will be quite reluctant to drop the child should I need to take action. I am a big walking deterrent. I keep my eyes open, I watch for everything. I let the wife get the kids and herself in the car while I walk around the outside of the car keeping an eye on the parking lot. So there’s a method to our madness, and it’s all about protecting and preserving ourselves.
Some folks may call this paranoia. No, it’s not that. I believe most people in this world are good and law-abiding. But all it takes is one asshole to ruin it, and you just don’t know when that asshole is going to strike. As an example, consider your drive today. Driving to work, from work, to the store or back, whatever, just think about your drive. Generally speaking if there’s any driver that you remember, it’s that one asshole that cut you off, or wouldn’t let you merge, or nearly got you killed. But do you remember the hundreds or maybe thousands of other drivers that were sharing the road with you? Point is, most everyone on the road was good and law-abiding, and if nothing else they just left you alone and paid you no mind. All it took was the one asshole to ruin your drive. So we get taught to drive defensively, to be prepared for things to happen. This is how you stay out of trouble and get home alive. The way my wife and I carry on is the same defensive philosophy.
However, I acknowledge that being big only goes so far. Since I was a kid I wanted to take martial arts, and I finally got up and did that. The primary reason for my study of martial arts is actually one of exercise. I needed a physical activity to keep in shape, get me out from behind the computer regularly, and also provide some sort of mental stimulation. Lifting weights, walking, and various other activities just didn’t do it for me, but martial arts finally came to me as the way to go. And the fact I could learn some fighting skills was a welcome benefit too. As of this writing I’m a 1st degree black belt in the traditional Korean martial art of Kuk Sool Won. What I like about the art is the comprehensiveness, the beauty, and the simple self-defensive practicality of it. It is a contemporary of Hapkido, and both tend to come from traditional Japanese Ju-Jitsu, so there are many locks, throws, and other practical non-sporting aspects. Point being, obtaining training in empty hand fighting skills is not a bad thing towards being able to care for yourself.
Stuff From Hsoi 