Philosophy

Little things

/ hsoi

A few days ago we took the kids out for ice cream. Went to the Baskin Robbins near our house.

When we were walking in, a man was sitting outside on one of the benches. We’ve seen this man before inside the BK; we believe he is the owner of the store; at least the manager, but probably the owner given what we’ve seen. We nodded and smiled and said “hello” on our way in. He smiled and said “hello” back. And we continued into the store.

Each kiddo got a single scoop on a cone, then we all went outside to sit on one of the benches, enjoy the evening, and eat our ice cream.

Within 2 seconds of her starting to lick her ice cream, Daughter’s scoop departed the cone and landed on the ground. *DOH*

We just told her to pick it up, throw it in the trash, and we’d go inside and buy her another scoop.

As we were doing this, the gentleman (owner?) spoke up. He saw what happened and told us to go back inside, get another scoop, and to tell the girls behind the counter that he said to just give us the scoop. Free.

That was unnecessary, but kind and generous. We thanked him, and spent time with our kids talking about such generous acts. Sure you could say this was just good for business, and certainly it does make us regard him and his business more positively and makes us want to go back to his store. But the man did not have to do this. That he did was a little bit of kindness, and it shows that it takes almost no effort and no expense to be good to others.

Little things mean a lot.

On fear

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Last night I finished reading Col. Jeff Cooper‘s book To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth.

An interesting and enlightening book. Cooper, no question has his mind set in particular ways. You may not agree with him, but without question he’s been a major influence on the craft of shooting. The book comes across as a series of “talks” or stories on a topic. Some remembering past hunting trips, told as if you were sitting around a campfire having a beer and sharing with your mates. Some passages were Cooper’s take on pistols or rifles and how to use them properly. Certainly there was a dose of his philosophy, politics, and view on life and the world.

A common question from the hoplophobes (Cooper’s term) regarding gun ownership  is “What are you afraid of?”. Questions about your mental state and your level of paranoia inevitably arise. This passage from Cooper’s book struck me in this regard:

Danger, to be appreciated, must be known. Our lives were all forfeit when we were born, but the hour of our peril is not always apparent to us. As you read this you may be seconds away from a fatal heart attack, but you are not in danger – so to speak – since you do not know that you are. Danger, in this sense, is the awareness of the possibility of imminent death. It is always a shocking experience but it need not be terrifying – and it absolutely must not be allowed to become incapacitating.

“Fear” and “terror” are words too often used in the Age of the Common Man. When I was a lad they were not admissible. Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Tarzan, for example, said, “I do not know what you mean by ‘fear’. I do not want to die, if that is what you mean, but you speak as if there were something more to it than that.” Fear that nullifies a man’s ability to cope with the danger which gives rise to the fear is an unacceptable emotion. The awareness of peril, however, is not the same thing at all, because in properly organized personalities it heightens perceptivity, sets the heart and mind to greater activity, and stimulates the entire consciousness in a way not otherwise realized.

I like Cooper’s distinction here on the effects of fear. That is, if fear paralyzes you, that’s not good. If instead you are aware, accept, and acknowledge peril exists and it motivates you to greater things, that’s good.

I don’t think the world is as horrible as the mainstream media paints for us and taints our perception. I don’t think there is evil lurking around every corner waiting to pounce on me, my wife, my children. But I do know evil is out there, and it only takes one incident to be too many. I work to make myself aware of peril and allow it to motivate my heart and mind to greater activity. Denying it exists doesn’t make it not exist, it merely puts you in a state of denial. Not being prepared puts you at a disadvantage, regardless of context or situation.

Some people find it odd that I study defensive pistolcraft and martial arts, but yet my sincere hope is to never use them in contexts beyond training, practice, and recreation. Why study them if you intend to never (truly) use them? We study language because we wish to communicate with others. We study math because we wish to engage in commerce. We tend to study and learn things specifically because we wish to directly use them. But this martial stuff…. that’s one of those “I’d rather have it (the knowledge and skill) and not need it, than need it and not have it” sort of things.

Don’t fear the sun

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Linoge made a comment on my  posting “I’m not so sure about that“. As I wrote a reply I realized that what I had to say warranted a full-on blog posting. So here it is.

Wife and I have chosen to homeschool our kids. Why? Numerous reasons, but the key ones are the public school system sucks and we’re not rolling in enough dough to consider private school. I went to public schools all my life, Wife was in private Catholic schools. While I think my public school experience wasn’t too bad, I have heard from old friends with younger siblings how the same top-notch schools we went to have degraded. Due to things like “No Child Left Behind” concerns are less on true education and more on test scores. I know all too well how you can get an “A” on a test and walk out of the classroom knowing nothing (no cheating involved, it’s just about working/gaming the test and not on gaining true education and knowledge). So when Oldest was an infant and we started to think about our schooling choices, homeschooling wasn’t something we had ever thought about but the more we researched the option the more it appealed to us. Every year we reevaluate our options and approach because the bottom line is we want the best for our children and if situations change and there’s a better avenue, we’ll take it. So far no better avenue has surfaced and we continue to homeschool our children.

Of course, whenever you mention the word “homeschooling” to someone, the Pavlovian response is “But what about socialization?”. The “S” word. Socialization takes on a different meaning these days and frankly that’s socialization we can do without. And certainly homeschoolers can be a little bitter about the FAQs we’re constantly hit with. But if there is one thing I’m well aware of it is that my children can be sheltered due to homeschooling. Since they are not surrounded by those of their age group for 8 hours a day every day, there’s no question my children don’t receive the “socialization” that kids attending public or private school receive. In part that is one reason for homeschooling, because we can exert more control and influence over our children, who they are exposed to, what influences them. Remember that not all influences are good ones, and even with our controls our kids still get exposed to bad ones (Oldest had a bully situation at a summer camp last year). But I know that my job with my children is to provide them with the skills and knowledge that enables them to not just survive but thrive in the world. My children are only spending a short time with me; most of their life and time is going to be spent as an adult in the real world, so they need to know how to work with the real world — which includes knowing how the real world is, good and bad and ugly. To truly shelter my children is not doing them any sort of service.

I admit that you shouldn’t expose your children to all things, or at least that you have to be mindful of when and how to expose them. There is something about making things age-appropriate and ensuring the child has the maturity and capability to understand and handle what you’re doing. Let’s take guns as an example. There’s not much reason to introduce an infant to guns, but as soon as infant is able to be mobile (about 6 months, crawling stage), you as a responsible parent and gun owner must take steps to secure your firearms because that infant will get into everything and knows nothing and no amount of attempting to teach them about guns is going to help. As your child gets older and can understand what guns are about, even if they cannot fathom death, it can be reasonable to start to introduce things to them. For instance, if you’re watching cartoons and Bugs Bunny puts his carrot into the muzzle-end of Elmer Fudd’s shotgun and Elmer just gets a blackened face, it’s worthwhile to start explaining to your child the difference between fantasy and reality. Then when you think your child is able to handle more regarding guns, you can expose them as you wish. Look at Kathy Jackson’s articles on Kids and Guns for some excellent writings on the topic. If nothing else, and certainly when kids are at a younger age, you should introduce them to Eddie Eagle. His message of “Stop. Don’t touch. Leave the area. Tell an adult.” teaches nothing about gun handling, but a lot about keeping kids safe if they encounter a gun.

Do my children know about guns? Certainly. I make guns no mystery to them, and frankly this has caused them to think of guns as rather mundane with little appeal. I think that’s a good thing as there’s no forbidden fruit syndrome to make guns enticing. Do I care about teaching them defensive uses of firearms? No, not at this point. Right now I just teach them safety rules, marksmanship, fundamentals, and most of all to just have fun. Sometimes if something comes up, sure I’ll discuss it, but it’s not hypercritical at this point to give them intensive defensive handgunning 101. But basic ways to stay safe? Sure. Things like the InSights ABC’s (Always Be Cool). To be aware of surroundings and trust your gut. And certainly other more specific things get taught, just not some intensive course like I might enjoy taking. The reality is that shit happens, and if the shit happens to my kids I want to ensure they’re able to return home. The thought of not being able to hold and hug my child is most unappealing to me, and it’s my duty and responsibility as a parent to ensure they have every skill and bit of knowledge possible to ensure their success in life.

I don’t live my life in fear, and I do my best to encourage my children to do the same. Yes they have fears, but I teach them true ways of being empowered to conquer those fears. Allow and accept the fears to happen, face them, let them pass over and through you, learn to control them, and channel them to your advantage. I remember when my kids first climbed a ladder and they’d only go up a few steps, but then the day came when they climbed to the top and gleefully shouted “Dad look! I did it!” Small thing perhaps, but the lesson is they were afraid of the height, of the new experience, but they didn’t let the fear stop them and in the end they conquered their fear. This has enabled Oldest to enjoy having the upper bunk-bed; how life is better when you don’t live in fear, eh?

You only have so much time and so much energy in life, why expend it on fear? How much life can you enjoy? Fear is what leads to sheltering, and while I won’t say it’s not justified, if you’re always stuck in the shelter you never get to see the sun and all the beauty that comes from it.

If one thinks, he will be taken by his thoughts.

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If one thinks, he will be taken by his thoughts.

–Takuan Soho

I subscribe to Brian Enos’ Maku mozo! mailing list. This was today’s quote.

It struck me because of my morning range experience. I’ve discussed this in other places on my blog when I talk about guns or martial arts or mindset, that when you think about something well… you’re thinking about that something and it consumes your thoughts and probably your actions too. This is neither good nor bad in and of itself, but what it causes you to do could be judged to be good or bad. This morning at the range I didn’t think about speed, I didn’t think to not think about speed (which is ultimately still thinking about speed). I did think about being smooth. Thus, I was smooth. When I assessed my performance and then thought about speed, I realized I wasn’t too bad with my speed but moreover I was shooting accurately and consistently (well, 25 yards needs work). If I allowed myself to be taken by thoughts of speed, that’s how I would have focused my shooting and that would not have lead me to the results I wanted. Instead, I allowed myself to be taken by thoughts of smoothness, and that lead me to the results I wanted.

Takuan’s words aren’t good or bad, it’s what I choose to do with my thoughts and even if I choose to think at all.

Tough times don’t last; tough people do.

/ hsoi

Gibson Guitars has an interview with Zakk Wylde, guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne and the creative force behind Black Label Society. Some people give Zakk a bunch of crap, but I’ve yet to see any of them give Zakk that same crap to his face. 🙂  I’ve seen BLS live and it’s most enjoyable. Good music (tho I think some of the later albums were rushed and not as inspired as the earlier albums). Nevertheless, Zakk’s got the right attitude:

Zakk on Metallica and Some Kind of Monster
“When I saw the guys, I said, ‘What were you thinkin’?’ Who needs a psychiatrist? Like I need marriage counseling? I’ve been married for 24 years. Look, I’m gonna get in fights with the wife and that’s life, man. You got the high and the lows. You’re in a band, you’re gonna fight, you’re gonna get over it or it wasn’t meant to be any more.

“The bottom line is this: Tough times don’t last; tough people do.

“Once Mom sent me to Promises rehab. I said, ‘Promises rehab?’ I’ll make you a promise right now: either I’m going to cap myself or some mother is going to die in this joint.’ And one of the bylaws of Black Label is ‘suicide is not an option.’ I got in there and had no time for those weak-willed assholes. One guy said he just couldn’t get out of bed in the morning to get to the group therapy meetings. I said, ‘Hey, sometimes I don’t want to get up on that stage but you get your damn jock strap on, you man up, and you do it.’ I’ve got no time for weak willed bull****. I was cut from the same cloth as General Patton.

“Hey, lions are born lions. They are not made. Berserkers are born berserkers. They are not made. Marines are born Marines. They are not made. Get tough or get out.”
 

Growing self-reliance

/ hsoi

My father taught me to be responsible for myself and those around me… not just my family, but also my friends, and in my community, and even the greater world around me. But in the end, being taught to take responsibility for myself, to work hard, to stand on my own two feet, and succeed. Since having my own children well over a decade ago, I’ve grown in this and work to instill it in my children. If I don’t work, there’s no food. If I don’t work, there’s no house or clothing. If I don’t work, no electricity to power the TV or the Wii. If I don’t work, how can I care for my family and provide them the things they want and need? I can’t expect anyone else to take care of them but myself. I can’t expect anyone else to take care of me but me.

Over the years, Wife and I have desired to become even more self-reliant. There’s a place in town called Pioneer Farms, and we’re looking into things with them to learn various skills. A bunch of the books I recently picked up work towards this end. It’s also one of the reasons I want to go hunting. So when I came across this article from (Uncle) Ted Nugent, a paragraph struck me:

I need my water, cars, trucks, chainsaws, knives, crowbars, blowtorches, scalding hot water, guitars and guns, thank you. Amazingly, I have mastered them all, and they are all wonderful ingredients for my American Dream of rugged individualism, declared independence, and self sufficiency. They all serve me well, and I am not giving any of them up. Ever.

His American Dream sounds pretty good to me. Individualism, independence, self-sufficiency. I think by and large this is the growing problem in America. People desire to be individuals, yet there’s so much pressure (and people give into it) to conform to the group. There’s lip-service to independence, yet when you rely upon taxes to fund, government programs, handouts, bailouts, socialized medicine, socialized anything, mantatory youth service,  you’re not free — you’re a slave. And are people self-sufficient? They want me to provide for them instead of going out and getting it themselves, so I think not.

What has come of America?

And what are you doing about it? Do you think Mr. Nugent’s dream is a good one? If so, what are you doing to make it reality. If you don’t think it’s a good dream, then tell me what your dream is and how that fits into what America is supposed to be about.

He who looks too hard at the outside gets clumsy on the inside

/ hsoi

When you’re betting for stones in an archery contest, you shoot with skill.

When you’re betting for fancy belt buckles, you worry about your aim.

And when you’re betting for real gold, you’re a nervous wreck.

Your skill is the same in all three cases – but because one prize means more to you than another, you let outside concerns weigh on your mind.

He who looks too hard at the outside gets clumsy on the inside.

-Chuang Tzu

This came into my inbox a few days ago. It’s relevant to where I am in life right now. When things don’t matter, I’m doing great. When important things are on the line, I don’t do so well. I’ve written about my trials in this, and also what I’m doing about it and how it’s working well.

Just good things to keep in mind.

Your Thought for the Day

/ hsoi

From the Baltimore Zen Center, The High Road.

Am I cold? I do my best to just be. If I’m cold, I’ll warm myself. If I’m warm, I’ll cool myself.

This leads me to think about what we teach our children. I know I used to tell my kids to never hit, violence was not the answer. My experience has shown most parents/adults believe and teach the same. Over the years I’ve come to take a different view, that yes sometimes violence is the right answer. Yes you have to do your best to avoid it, most any other option is preferable. But sometimes a punch in the nose is the correct response. The tough part is learning when it is the correct response.

Go read. Then think about it. Perhaps you’ll see what I mean.

Mindset is everything – continued

/ hsoi

After a shooting class I wrote about how mindset is everything. How it’s important to convey what you want to do (not what you don’t want).

When competition shooter BJ Norris reflected back on his performance at the 2008 US Steel Nationals, he found this exact same mindset approach helped his performance. Folks, it’s a real thing… mindset is everything.

I can even reflect back on my performance at work this past week. I’ve had so many other things in life going on that it’s been difficult to accomplish the tasks I’ve needed to complete. I found myself frustrated with all the things I hadn’t been able to do, and focusing on that merely accentuated my frustrations. I changed my mindset to focus on the things I wanted to do and viola… the things that needed to get done got done.

Focus on what to do.

Memorization, Precision, Smoothness

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I’ve heard Master Harmon say this before, but he brought it up again in yesterday’s seminar, and it struck me deeper than it has in the past. I figure this is because there’s a growing harmony in the various aspects of my life, and it’s great when things flow and harmonize this way. Let me explain.

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