Me

Hardcore music saved my life

/ hsoi

My friend W turned me on to Hatebreed… little did he know it would literally save my life.

🤘 Metal! 🤘

Me at Milwaukee Metal Fest ’23 (W to my left)

My default music genre is heavy metal. My happy music is hair metal – give me a good Winger song any day (Reb Beach is a monster and you know it). And to be consistently of-the-80s, I also love thrash metal: Metallica, Slayer, Overkill, Anthrax, Sepultura, Dark Angel – the band I went to Milwaukee Metal Fest 2023 for – more recent bands like Havok, Lazarus A.D., Municipal Waste, and Angelus Apatrida (who I first learned of at MMF23). Heavy Metal Parking Lot was my teenage reality.

A related genre always interesting to me was punk and hardcore. I grew up in the 1980s in the Washington D.C. area. I remember a punk kid in high school with his sky-high mohawk and “Marginal Man” leather jacket. I recall learning about the Bad Brains overhearing a couple dudes talking at the Tower Records over in Tysons Corner. Dischord Records. Minor Threat. I never got deeply into the DC scene at that young age, but I was aware, curious, and influenced.

College radio naturally exposed me to many things. Got see Suicidal Tendencies live a few times. Being Metal Director at WXJM in the early 1990s I got exposed to albums by bands like Agnostic Front and Cro-Mags, and getting “on the list” to see live shows like the New Titans On the Block tour which exposed me to Sick of It All.

Then one day in the early 2000s, my friend W turned me on to Hatebreed and that was it.

Hatebreed – I Will Be Heard

NYHC (New York Hardcore)

Biohazard headlining Friday night at Milwaukee Metal Fest 2023 (📷 me)

While Hatebreed isn’t from New York (they’re from Connecticut) it’s that New York Hardcore sound and foundation. That raw brutal anger from and of the city streets – not just any city, but New York City. Biohazard’s Wrong Side of the Tracks presents the city’s ethos at a mid-way break where Evan shouts: “…and when you’re in fuckin’ Brooklyn, you best watch your back!”. This ain’t L.A., baby.

I was exposed to this music and scene through working metal radio in the early 1990s. Biohazard’s Urban Discipline was released in 1992 and I was drawn to it. The rawness, the anger, the aggression. And there was something more: a morality.

I liked Biohazard (Punishment) and again the Bad Brains (Soul Craft). (Fun fact: Bad Brains got “Banned in DC“, moved to NYC, and heavily influenced the burgeoning music scene that fed into NYHC). Hatebreed is the one that really did it for me. I think it was the heavy crunch of the guitars and “chugga” rhythm – that mixing of punk and metal – Jamey’s aggressive vocal delivery, and the particular direction of the lyrics. 

Hatebreed – Before Dishonor

These days I’ve found myself rediscovering the Cro-Mags (No One’s Victim). Yeah, original band members John and Harley have issues; those are their issues, not mine. I like them both: Harley’s music sings to me, and John’s writings speak to me (I’m reading his book The PMA Effect). It’s about that PMA (Positive Mental Attitude).

And you see, that’s the thing. There’s a dichotomy between the music and the message. The music is brutal, but so is life. And the message is about life, about survival, rage, persevering, growing stronger. Some of the NYHC dudes were Hare Krishna, Bad Brains are Rasta, and that came through in their music.

And that’s the difference…

It is positive

The aggression of the music: the loud guitars, the barking vocals singing how you should “destroy everything“, which sounds bad on the surface. However, upon looking deeper one discovers it’s directing ourselves to “obliterate what makes us weak” – it’s very inward. That is a song to (re)build strength by.

Bad Brains would go from manic 30 second songs to stoney reggae numbers like I Luv I Jah, a song about being “cool that way” and how “I gotta keep my PMA”. In fact, the notion of “Positive Mental Attitude” originates in Bad Brains’ song Attitude:

Don’t care what you may say,

We got that attitude!

Don’t care what you may do,

We got that attitude!

Hey! We got that PMA!

Hey! We got that PMA!

Bad Brains – Attitude

Legend has it when H.R. was a teenager his father gave him a copy of Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich. “It was saying, if you do it in your mind, if you get your mind right, you can do anything.” H.R. spread that message through his music.

Back to the Cro-Mags. Drag You Under: 

Sometimes life is a real motherfucker. 

Sometimes it feels like life is going to drag you under.

But you just can’t quit.

Cro-Mags – Drag You Under

Couple that with the juggernaut chugga of the song lead by Harley’s aggressive delivery. It injected me with something. “You just can’t quit” sticks in my head… a lot. A drum beat. A mantra. A drill sergeant (in the best possible way). An external voice always in my ear. In No One’s Victim Harley snarls:

You can’t let your circumstances define who you are.

Cuz only death is certain – everything else optional.

Your happiness depends on no one else but you.

Cuz no one else can live your life or fill your grave but you.

Cro-Mags – No One’s Victim

Very memento mori. “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” – Epictetus

Hardcore-adjacent would be Suicidal Tendencies. You’d think with a name like that their songs wouldn’t be about life and living, but they are – they are about the struggle (How Will I Laugh Tomorrow) but also the triumph (The Feeling’s Back). Behold the epic outro rant by Mike Muir on You Can’t Bring Me Down:

Just cuz you don’t understand what’s going on don’t mean it don’t make no sense.

And just cuz you don’t like it don’t mean it ain’t no good.

And lemme tell you something

Before you go takin’ a walk in my world, you better take a look at the real world; cuz this ain’t no Mr. Rogers neighborhood!

Can you say “Feel like shit?” Yeah maybe sometimes I do feel like shit. I ain’t happy about it but I’d rather feel like shit than be full of shit.

And if I offended you? Oh I’m sorry but maybe you need to be offended! Well here’s my apology and one more thing… FUCK YOU!

Suicidal Tendencies – You Can’t Bring Me Down

That sermon – especially the opening lines – has been a plank in my personal philosophy since 18-year-old John first heard the song. And lately, the whole “rather feel like shit than be full of shit” has held true.

Hatebreed brings it the most for me. The entire Perseverance album, each song and the album vibe as a whole. That’s the voice in my head. The title song:

You can’t accept what you’ve been told. Anchored in sin you must reverse your descent.

Declare the weight of the world has yet to claim you, and admit that your faults will not restrain you.

Glimpses of fate bring light to your despair; realize hope isn’t short of your grasp!

Resurrect every dream that you’ve buried alive – and never succumb to the war that you fight in your heart!

Your world is coming apart? Remain steadfast!

Perseverance!

Against all opposition!

Crushing all limitations!

Pure strength through solitude!

Discipline and determination!

Hatebreed – Perseverance

Because we must persevere. That song is a sonic reminder – the music becoming a functional ear-worm, constantly beating important words into my head. That drill sergeant telling me to: “Keep. Showing. Up.”

Recently I found myself drawn to the title track from Hatebreed’s eighth studio album Weight of the False Self:

If you want to make a difference in the world (it means) you have to be different from the world (you see).

No victim mindset, raise your standard. Your true self calls and you must answer!

Lift the weight of the false self crushing you

Lift yourself up from malevolence

Lift the curse of the fatalist haunting you

Lift yourself out from the death grip

Lift the burden upon your shoulders

There’s a challenge that’s begging to be risen to! There’s a voice and it’s your true self calling you. End the cycle, kill all willful self-abuse. Never justify another excuse!

…

Lift the weight of the false self and you will be set free

Hatebreed – The Weight of the False Self

I wasn’t deeply familiar with the concepts of “true self” and “false self”, so I started reading about them, learning more. So THIS is where my imposter syndrome comes from! Learning about the notion of false self has given me much to consider. I’ve found myself doing a lot of inward examination, seeing how I have been living my false self. It’s been sobering… it’s been ego-crushing to learn how I have been living my false self; in fact, I’ve been living a number of false selfs. And while hard to accept that ego-crushing pain, I know it’s good for the false self to be crushed so I can bring my true self forward. It’s like a phoenix: “rebuild and start again, obliterate what makes us weak”.

Saving myself

I am human. I am an imperfect and flawed creature. I am just trying to get through this life (in my own way). I need ways to let off steam. I need ways to draw strength. I find both through hardcore music.

The obvious aggression of the music is motivating and fueling. As you might expect, my gym playlist has numerous songs by hardcore bands, especially Hatebreed. Loud music cranked in my AirPods while I crank out reps with heavy-ass weight? A zone of happy. 😄 Or simply just cranking loud music and air guitaring around the house! There’s motivation, but there’s also release. The music fuels a release of that energy! As a table once said, “I want my anger to be healthy.“

The lyrical content provides another angle. It provokes me to examine myself, finding where I am weak, pushing me to build myself into something stronger. The lyrics provide me with oft-needed reminders, especially as life’s journey has taken me through dark roads. I wanted to quit – really quit – a number of times. I’ve battled depression since I was a teenager. I kept telling myself to just keep showing up. All storms pass.

I hear Harley barking in my ear: “…but you just can’t quit“.

Truly. Hardcore music saved my life.

I need to change up

/ hsoi / 1 Comment

My body is telling me I need to change up on my lifting. I have progressed well here, but now it’s just beating me up. It’s been 7 months and a very good run. I was expecting this would run a little longer, and I think it ultimately will – it’s more about principles and “maximizing my gainz, bro” than a specific routine. I learned a lot too. I do find something to the effective/stimulating reps theory. I need to adjust how I approach “volume” (see below). One thing is that while my muscles respond well to this, my knees and some other joints are getting a little too beat up. It’s frequency (and “volume” as a matter of).

Frequency

The upper-lower-a/b-split that has me doing a 4-day cycle going 3 days a week, thus you hit the same workout (e.g. lower-b) every 9-10 days, but you hit the same body area every 4-5, and because I wanted to “bring up weak points” (shoulders) I did them even more often. Soooo… 

If volume equated over the week is all that matters, i.e. 6 sets once a week results in the same as 3 sets twice a week all other things equal, broadly stated and oversimplified – it seems I can go hard, I just need more recovery time well… going to go to a Push (Mon) Legs (Wed) Pull (Fri) may be the way to go. It’s every 7 days… a little more, but not too much – esp. “if I hit it hard” on its day. And just keep it to it.

Top set(s)

I’m going to change how I work up: generally speaking, every set goes up in weight until I get a set that’s like 5-7 reps. Done. It’s not about working up to a known-beforehand weight for x-reps (my days of percentage-based training; or the 3×8 means: 8,7,6; 8,8,6; 8,8,7; 8,8,8; increase weight; 7,6,4; 8,6,5; etc.. Instead, it’s about working up to a # of reps to true failure. And if I do more than one set, I might drop the weight to make sure I hit the reps. Everything depends on how things feel (which takes some time to learn).

First week: just work up to 5 reps (the bottom of the range); keep doing sets of 5 increasing the weight. Eventually you hit a set where 4-5 is all you can do. You’re done. Work until I truly fail. I expect the work-up will take longer and be more fatiguing than it normally will as I work to figure it out and dial it in. Second week, week 1 gave a rough idea of how much I can do so I can make better jump selections, and I likely will slay last week’s top weight&reps, which is fine because getting dialed in. Make needed adjustments. Third week, should be tighter. Fourth week, rollin’. The goal is as few warm-up sets as needed to get warm, grease the gears, etc – not add fatigue, just get things up and ready for work, and then really good top work set(s). It might take 3 sets, it might take 5, I might do the empty bar 3 times because something wasn’t feeling good. Whatever it takes. The ease-in is fine (“start light, progress slowly”). There will still be novel stimulus.

Overall volume

The grail is maximum benefit from the smallest dose.

Volume does matter, to an extent. You gotta do enough work, but no more (“Stimulate, don’t annihilate.” – Lee Haney). If we look at the stimulating/effective reps model, you need enough stimulating/effective reps. No matter what sort of programming you do, it is ultimately about the # of those to make you grow (we’re talking hypertrophy here). Maximize that! Some Mentzer throwback. That is, volume (that we want) is more about the # of stimulating/effective reps than simply total reps. Always has been, really.

I’m going to pare way back and see what happens. It’ll be like “5 total sets” for back: 1 pulldown to a peak set, 2 incline db rows, 2 kelso shrugs, 2 supinating db spider curls. And 5 for “push”: 1 seated barbell overhead press, 2 machine incline chest press, crab flies, cable lateral raises, some cable for triceps. That’s it. If I need more, I can add more, but let’s start small. And very very intense, like 2×5-7 to failure (0 RIR, 10 RPE). First exercise of the day gets a good work up, others MIGHT get 1 warmup just to get into the groove of the movement.

Selection around very stable exercises, and also some fun. I want to do the OHP because why not: there’s the equipment at the gym, seated will be more stable than standing, and I can move a little weight. The spider curls are because I’ll have been sitting backwards on an incline bench for a while, might as well stay there. It’ll be fun!

HARD work. Less time at the gym, more time between “hitting it”. Let’s see how the body responds to this.

Training philosophy changes

/ hsoi

Sometimes we discover and learn new things, which could be a totally new thing (disruptive, novel) or simply an iterative refinement to an existing thing (more likely). Either way, let’s try and see!

Philosophy

In my history of “pumping iron”, Joe Weider was my first influence (as a teenager). In this latest chapter of my lifting, I’d say my modern influences would include Jim Wendler and Paul Carter. Paul’s actually influenced a lot of my training and training philosophy (“Death is winning; do something.”). My two sons are currently on a program which started as Paul’s Guaranteed Muscle Mass, but has evolved – and interestingly the evolution is still based around Paul’s coaching, just what he’s coaching here in 2023 vs Paul of 2014. Paul 2014: Over warm-ups, 50% sets, 350 method, upper lower a/b split. Getting strong, and big. Paul 2023: Effective reps, 2-3 sets 5-8 reps to failure, 4-6 totals sets per muscle group per “training week”. Hypertrophy.

My approach

First understand my operating context: I’m in my early 50’s. I’ve lifted on and off since I was a teenager, this latest run for I think 13 years. I have various little body issues (e.g. a couple minor pec tears, joint wear & tear, can’t really squat any more, etc.). I have to find the right balance between hard stimulating work and what I can recover from. Volume, frequency, how I lift, exercises, set and rep schemes, etc.

I’ve been really working with “effective reps”, and it’s pretty wild. I am seeing some really solid return in my quads, my arms, my delts, pecs, traps. Couple with 3 minute rests. It’s just good. I’m working more hypertrophy stuff these days: Hammer Strength machines, hack squats, cable crossovers, etc. No more singles (the cost-benefit isn’t worth it to me at this point); I really don’t want below 5 reps. My sons tho…

My sons’ approaches

The boys want to be both big and strong. They are happy with their relative strength (hooray for Starting Strength and 5/3/1) and size. Now they want to get bigger, sexier. 😄 So it’s more hypertrophy for them, but… they still want to – and should! – have fun in the gym. Like Youngest is doing 21s because that’s some fun bro shit for your biceps. And we can work around body constraints better, like Oldest is switching to hack squats for a while to give his back a break from squats. And hacks are great for your quads, and the new gym has a Hammer Strength Linear Hack Squat so….

I’m keeping their basic workout structure on Paul’s GMM. Swapping a few exercises (like hack squats for back squats for Oldest; or a similar exercise that leverages machines like instead of barbell row do a HS I-L Row machine for greater stability). Trying to get the boys down to that 5-8 rep range, to failure. And taking advantage of them being younger. Like Youngest is young enough, and he’s eating like 3000-4000 calories a day. He’s… growing. He just PR squatted 315 fast, deep, and easy the other day… never singled above 295, mostly work sets in the mid 200’s for 5-8 reps. Just keep working: you’ll get stronger. Big, strong, and growing in confidence.

Back to my approach

I’m still doing an “Upper-lower A-B” split; same basic thing I’ve been running for some months now, just minor adjustments. Upper press, lower quads, upper pull, lower ham/glute. It’s a 4-day split done over 3 days per week (so yes, 9-10 days between sessions; consequently, I try to add in light stimulus on “other” days in some manner or other).

On Upper Press I was emphasizing shoulders; I still mostly am. I did Hammer Iso-Lat Shoulder Press followed by 30º barbell incline bench press. So I was hitting shoulders first chest second. I do find the 30º bench is more about my shoulders than my upper pecs (in terms of the result I get vs 20º, but it’s still upper pec and if a little shoulder biased that’s fine as shoulder emphasis). After 4 cycles of that, I opted to swap and see how it goes (i.e. try a more upper pec focus): do incline press first, then the shoulder press. I’m actually stronger in this order… rolling with it. But then also, I didn’t feel I was hitting enough pec through the microcycle thus I swapped in “most muscular” cable flies instead of chest presses (just hit the chest, and really hit it).

Current Program

  • Upper A – Press
    • 30º Incline Bench Press
      • Work up to a heavy 5-8. Do another set of 5-8.
    • Hammer Strength (HS) Iso-Lateral (I-L) Shoulder Press
      • One quick warm-up set
      • 2-3×5-8
      • 3rd week, last set is drop set.
    • Incline DB Y-Raise
      • 2×5-8
      • 3rd week, last set ends in partial burns.
    • 1-arm neutral grip cable pushdowns
      • 2×5-8
    • Hammer Strength MTS Row
      • 1 warmup
      • 3×5-8
  • Lower A – Quads
    • Hammer Strength Linear Hack Squat
      • Work up to a heavy 5-8. Do another set of 5-8
    • Hammer Strength (HS) Iso-Lateral (I-L) Leg Extension
      • 3×5-8
      • 3rd week, last set ends in iso-hold.
    • Lunges
      • Nothing big, just like 2×10-15 each leg. Bodyweight only. It’s more about moving my body & bending my knees. Balance.
    • Seated Calf Raises
      • warm up to 3×5-8.
      • 3rd week, last set can end with some partial bounces.
    • Upright Rows
      • warm up to something heavy for 2×5-8
  • Upper B – Pull
    • HS I-L Front Lat Pulldown
      • Work up to a heavy 5-8. Do another set of 5-8
    • HS I-L Row
      • One quick warmup set.
      • 2-3×5-8
    • “Lean-back” lat pulldowns (pronated grip)
      • 2×5-8
    • EZ-bar Cable Curls
      • 2×5-8
    • “Most Muscular” Cable Flies
      • 1-2 warmups
      • 3×5-8
  • Lower B – Hams/Glutes
    • RDL
      • Work up to 2×5-8
    • 45º Hypers/Raises (with weight)
      • 3×5-8
    • Lying Leg Curl
      • Work up to 1×5-8
    • Standing Calf Raises
      • 1-2 warmups
      • 3×5-8
    • Close-grip Swiss/Football bench press
      • Work up to something @8 RPE for 5-8.

Rest 3 minutes between all work sets. Warmups can go faster (it’s warmups).

I wave it. 1st “week”: take it easy (easy is still heavy, still effective reps, but maybe @9). 2nd week, hard (@10). 3rd week hard and heavy, adding intensity techniques. 4th week, back to week 1. Generally see no need for planned deloads (if I need the break, I take it; or sometimes travel/work causes me to take a break, which I just roll with because I know I won’t lose anything and I’ll be better for the break.)

Everything has a reason. I’m really wanting to grow my “width”, so shoulders. I have a narrow skeletal structure, narrower shoulders for a typical person of my height. So wider it is. I still need some pec and triceps stim. I still like doing some sort of barbell work, and it’s fun to do barbell inclines for a couple sets of 5-8. The fixed incline benches at this new gym are 30º, and I find my pecs respond better to the John Meadows 20º. But I am noticing that now doing inclines before shoulder press that my upper pecs are responding some. And the 30º does hit my delts a bit more, which is totally jiving with my shoulder emphasis. The incline y-raises, 2-3×5-8 to failure are money for my delts and traps. A little triceps (doesn’t really matter, just novel). Then a little bit of back work because split, volume accumulation “over the week”, etc. I really can’t squat any more (SS Yoke maybe…), but hack squats are cool. My quads have always been weak, so it’s great to get to focus on them. I like the resistance curve on the HS I-L leg extension – trashes the quads nicely. A couple sets of lunges because it’s good for me (nothing heavy duty, like 2×10 each leg). Upright rows because they are awesome and it annoys Chuck Haggard. 😉 Then back… because back is great. The Hammer Strength Iso-Lateral pulldown and row machines are fun to play with – I did row then pulldown, now trying pulldown then row. The “lean back” pulldowns is basically just wide-grip-face-pulls but a bit more stable. Just trying to hit all the back angles for like 2-3×5-8 each. Cable curls are a good squeeze. And the flies – the rule is to have a little “push “work, but I opted this cycle to isolate with pec flies because I think my delts and tris get a lot of stim, and my pecs need a little more overall (over the week). “Most musclar” – think that pose, think the way there’s a “line of pull” in the tension of that pose. That. Set up the cables to replicate that line of pull. I’ve noticed I’m growing some hams and glutes, which I am happy about so I just keep working them: one hip, one knee (I miss the seated leg curl, but lying is fine). The weighted hypers (with barbell hanging from arms) are a smaller ROM but if you do it right it’s killer on the “upper glutes” (it’s not a lift, it’s a contraction; pushing the hips through). More calf work (regular calf work pays off). And then I’m wanting to dink around with some sort of push exercise here, and the football/swiss bar as a a close-grip bench press is I think cool – just have to remember to keep my elbows tucked and not let it turn into a pec exercise (and risk a tear… why I don’t really flat bench any more).

I do find merit in the notion of effective reps. I’m finding I need less “total number of sets (and reps)”. I am seeing and feeling the hypertrophy. I’m still dialing in exactly what I need, but it’s less than I thought. Like 2 sets of 5-8 reps 10 RPE, 0 RIR, true failure. Yeah… it jives.

Anyways… this is what I’m enjoying right now. Trying to lift heavy, but about to back off and get stricter and cycle again.

Now if I could just stop eating like an asshole… I’m tired of being fat.

No B.S.

/ hsoi

The other day someone told me a big reason people jive with me is because I keep it real.

There is no other way to be.

For… ever in my website bio I’ve said this:

I’m not one for bullshit. I do my best to not bullshit people, I don’t like to be bullshitted, and I generally don’t put up with bullshit. Life’s too short for games and bullshit. Be honest and straight with people.

Me

I blame my Dad

I grew up the son of a politician – I still am.

He started in politics when I was 4 years old. It was from age 8 to 16 when Dad was a member of the US House of Representatives, but from 4-8 he was still running and campaigning (lost before he won). So from age 4 through graduating high school I had to do the “political family” thing.

Shooting TV commercials for Dad’s campaigns was cool to young me – all the cameras, “I’m going to be on TV!!” – until I had to act. It all felt so… fake, so “put-on-a-show” to me. Here we are supposed to show the world we’re this perfect happy family, when my Mom was just yelling at me, Dad was steamed, the kids were cranky… then the Director yells “ACTION!” and it’s all smiles and happy. SMILE DAMNIT! BE HAPPY!

It was revolting to me. It was such… lies. Lies to the world.

I’m sure that planted the seed.

Verbosity

/ hsoi

People tell me I talk a lot. 

I can.

It’s not that I’m verbose – in the sense that I “run on” (tho I can).

It’s that I desire to share information.

I may “run on”, I may post a wall of text; afterwards you tend to not have questions. You are also filled with more information – historical, contextual – which enables you to make better, deeper, more understanding decisions and interpretations down the line. 

George Carlin once said something like “A soundbite. Just a bite. A morsel. Malnourishment.”

I want you to be nourished.

Winter 2023 Programming – Turning left

/ hsoi

First Program of 2023

Going into 2023, my main goal is getting lean. This fat must be shed, for a number of reasons. That’s primarily a diet thing. Right now I want to talk about the gym side of things.

Changing gyms

For the past 2 years I have gone to the local Snap Fitness. It’s not bad, really. The one here has some age, both in equipment/facilities as well as target market / demographic. It’s got a power rack with a Texas Squat Bar, a half rack with a shit bar (my boys were always a sight, bringing my original EliteFTS Power Bar in every day), a Smith Machine, some benches, dumbbells up to 120, Cybex machines (which I’ve really come to appreciate), cardio, other “fitness” stuff. Really, it’s not a bad place. Owner/operator didn’t care if I used chalk (just clean up). I could “drop” my deadlifts (i.e. respectful clanging is ok). Good people there (other old people like me, a few young people). All in all, Snap was alright. I wish the racks were bolted down (the half-rack further out so that pole wasn’t an issue – which is why the weight storage pegs are all broken off), I wish the bar didn’t suck and there wasn’t 1 of them. I mean, it was kept generally clean. Generally functional. Did recently upgrade/replace a bunch of bench and machine pads. Not perfect, but nothing is and it was generally good. No complaints. Satisfied customer.

It’s more about a life change. Oldest is moving across town. We need to centralize, so gym switch.

As well, 2 years ago I was still on the “strong” path. I wanted to reclaim some glory and bench/squat/deadlift 3/4/5 wheels again. However too many injuries and realizing that I can get there again, I just need to take a much different – and longer – path to get there. Which is, ok at this point. Look at someone like Mike O’Hearn – say what you will, dude’s got longevity and looks better now than most (if not all) of his critics. Dude fucking inclines 405 for reps… So, just take it slower, mind the process. It will come.

And with that, I also find myself more drawn to bodybuilding at this point. I will get to a sufficient level of strength, if I just build the way I want to build. It’s so funny that I always felt a draw to things in like the 5-8 rep range – it just always felt so optimal to me. And it’s great to see how that’s actually bearing out now in research, and I see it too in my hypertrophy response. But I think only now am I willing to put in what it takes to really understand and pull out a 5-8 to failure – and I still think I have a ways to go to really blast through that mental (pain) barrier.

So I naturally want to lean more towards machines right now. So this other gym, TruFit (they seem to be an up-and-coming Texas-based chain)… they’ve got lots of Hammer Strength shit. Boy, HS’s ideal of knurling is so silky-smooth… 🙄 I mean, it’s knurling, it feels really nice, but I still feel like it’s going to slip out of my hand. But they are nice overall. The machines are pretty good, with me opting for the plate-loaded over the selectorized when possible. Hammer Strength’s plates are THICK due to the rubber coating, and it seems like many of the plate-loaded weight shafts (heh) are short (heh), so maybe 4 plates if you’re lucky on the load. I’ll see how things bear out, but so far I’m digging the machine offerings.

Turning left

I already knew I had to change things up (go read to see where this is coming from).

In light of all this new equipment, I opted to reapproach things. I have new toys, so why not!

If we look at Day 1, I wanted more delt focus, maintain upper pecs, something triceps, more delts, then a general back. I used their Iso-Lateral Shoulder Press, IL Incline Press, Rolling DB Extensions, Cable Y Raises, IL Row. The Iso-Lateral stuff is pretty nice. Presses don’t converge, but it’s ok. Row is a little different because now my humerus is about 45º, which is alright.

Day 2 I’m probably going to try the V-Squat.

Day 3 there’s more interesting back machines around there, and I’ll keep seeing what there is. I know there’s some nifty lat-pulldown types. I want a good row, a good pulldown, something rear delt, something biceps, chest press.

Day 4 I’m not sure. The good morning in the V-squat is all the rage right now, but I think I want good old RDL’s. Then probably lying leg curls. Not sure what else… there is a standing calf raise machine, so I’ll probably use that.

It’s fun to have new toys. 🙂

First Impressions

Gym was open when I got there, which is a good sign (esp. day after Christmas). Not many people (maybe no more than a dozen at any time while I was there, tho probably 2-3 dozen did cycle through).

Bathroom… generally clean. Needed soap at one set of sinks, lots of water splash on the mirrors and around sinks. When I left, I stopped into the locker room on my way out. I saw a reflection… of 2 ovals, close together, on one of the benches. I noted to not put my bag there.

There is cleaning stuff but not necessarily together. Like there’s a trash can and a cleaning bottle in the middle of the floor, but only a paper towel dispenser way on the other side on the wall. Interesting how they locate the cleaning supplies.

Took the time to look around, check out all the machines, see and start to learn what’s available. Decided to go with plate-loaded over the selectorized since I think it will fit me better – I tried some ergos and overall the plate-loaded will work better for me. There’s a nice selection of stuff.

Opted to do this shoulder press. I worked up for sets of 8 until I felt it was “there”, then did 2 (work) sets of 5-8. I didn’t think much of it. I then moved to the incline press, same work-up to 2×5-8. I will note I felt myself pushing (contracting) harder than ever before. It was… wild. And my right pec is reminding me that it’s not without prior injury, so I gotta be mindful.

After I finished those, my delts were on fire. I never felt that before. It was a crazy ache! We’ll see how it feels in the next few days.

Rolling DB extensions were ok. I have to find the groove on this equipment (e.g. “place my butt here so when I lay down my head will be here”). Plus my delts were so fried that my body was like “No, I am not going to stabilize these dumbbells, I don’t care what you say”. 😂 I may need to find another movement that doesn’t involve that stability aspect.

Good Y-Raises. They don’t have a “free motion” machine, but they have a setup that has 2 stacks at 90º close together which is good enough.

And the Iso-Lateral rows. Of the various hand positions, the top handle with pronation was the one that worked best for me (i.e. comfortable range of motion, no weird stresses, optimal width). I didn’t feel it there at the gym, but this afternoon here at home I’m feeling the work.

All in all, this is a good move. Equipment more towards what I’m now pursuing. This is novel and fun.

Being strict on my diet coupled with this work should pan out well.

Direction

I will spend the next 2-3 weeks sussing out the program: honing in on the exercises/machines, weights to get that 1-3×5-8, etc. Do more with less.

I will take this as long as I can take it, which ought to be be 3-4 months at least.

I should have a good feel for this gym by then too.

I’m down…

/ hsoi

…to about 250-ish pounds. The other day the scale said 248, but that was just water/carbs.

Catching you up

I track my bodyweight via RepCount into Apple Health,; before that in spreadsheets. I’ve also written about it here under the weight-management category. tl;dr 2015 I got my leanest to date at 199 from my highest ever at 265. After that I got more into powerlifting, Vitamin T. Got strong, and big… especially big. My bodyweight has fluctuated up and down since then, tho certainly the overall trend has been increasing. This time tho, there’s far more muscle. I’ve been sitting in the 250’s for maybe 18 months now. I ballooned up to 261 from Thanksgiving bloat.

I’m tired of it

It’s fun to be big. No lie.

It’s also tiring. #IYKYK

Oh, I still want to be big – don’t get me wrong! But I don’t need to lug around fat as the amount I have does me no good (you only need so much to function). What I’ve got gets in the way more than helps. Put it this way: lean abs and big pecs help with AIWB, and I ain’t helpin’ myself.

It’s been my eternal struggle. Food is my crutch, my comfort, my drug.

That must stop. Not just change, but stop.

I’ll state right out front: death comes for us all, and until that day I will occasionally enjoy a fine meal and good whiskey. I will also not stop eating Mrs. Hsoi’s cooking, especially when she makes me large-pearl tapioca pudding (just like my Grandma Eleanor used to). I just want to ensure that until that day comes I can live well – which for me right now means leaning out.

And never going back.

#BecomingLean

Being sick was perhaps the blessing in disguise. It killed a bunch of my appetite. It’s been pretty easy to bypass the sweet snack-y things (props to Alan Thrall). That alone I know is a help – and I told myself

Or… it could be the Animal Cuts. Yes I know, but let the little bro in my live a little. LOL. I actually wonder if the appetite suppressant properties may be contributing. The tin is almost empty, so I’ll cycle off for a bit and see what happens. Over all these years I’ve always experimented on my body to see how things act, react, respond, etc. I keep data. The experiments are interesting and educational. But I know like any supplement, if you don’t put in the work, you still ain’t gonna get results. Frankly? Even if it’s placebo, if it’s only just helping me somehow be accountable (e.g. like why some people have a personal trainer) because that paying out $$$ makes you not want to waste it. 🤷‍♂️

Still, my appetite is down. I can look in the mirror and see I am VERY flat. My wedding ring comes off more easily. So while I got down from the post-Thanksgiving bloat of 261 pretty quick, it was back into the 254-257 range. So that I’m now bouncing around 248-251 is… good. I believe this is mostly water and glycogen loss, maybe a pound of tissue if I’m lucky? Which I know contributes to the dizzies at the gym. Still, that’s needed to deplete to drive the body to alternate energy sources (fat). Working to keep my protein intake high (at least 200g/day on the “lazy measure”, which means I’m probably getting 225-250g from all sources).

It’ll manage out. There’s some fine-tuning to do and I’m doing it. I know the scale is but one metric, and I know how I leverage that metric. To see 250 consistently for the past few days is actually good. We needed convenience supper last night, ordered pizza, I ate a couple more slices than I should have however I’m not feeling guilty because my body needed it. I’m coming off a really hard some months at the day job and last night started 2-weeks PTO… so I unwound a bit and don’t feel one lick of guilty about it. Woke up 250 this morning, a little fuller looking. Pretty cool. I’ll return to normal today, both in food consumption and glycogen levels. It’ll be fine in the long haul.

So… it’s a small step, but it’s a meaningful step. Slow progress is still progress.

Winter 2022 Programming

/ hsoi

This is about lifting weights, what I’ve been exploring in my program, how it’s paying off, and where I want to go next.

Explorations

I’ve been lifting for hypertrophy; no more 5/3/1 (tho principles always remain, especially start light, progress slowly). It’s been about 3.5 months and 4 3-“week” mesos (I lift MWF). It’s basically an upper/lower A/B split. I started with a “powerbuilding” approach, trying to squat/bench and other heavy stuff for progressions.

In time I had to stop squatting because my current shoulder mobility makes it hard to get into position for back squatting and starts to put a lot of strain on my wrists, elbows, and shoulders – excruciating pain, which I’m not hip to dealing with again. So, more leg pressing.

I also found myself following Paul Carter’s stuff again, looking things like “effective reps” and keeping it to maybe 3×5-8 work.

Payoff

Not squatting has been good for me. My body feels better: knees not so stiff, wrist/elbow/shoulder pain gone (well, the squat-induced pain; my left hand/wrist still has other issues, which are better but still present). Plus quads are getting bigger. I use the Cybex Plate Loaded Squat Press, which is awesome. On Lower A day, I put on my squat shoes (elevated heels), feet low on the plate, quad-bias. On Lower B, Chucks (flat sole), feet high, glute bias. Working up to something heavy, 8 reps RPE 9-10 sort of thing. I think I was getting to a point of too much heavy leg work because I was feeling it (stiff, achy, not fully recovering). I’ve started to cut back on the pure volume, as I don’t need as many warm-up sets now as I’m more in the groove of this movement. Slowly adding weight, just taking my time to work up into it – start light, progress slowly.

FWIW, I never thought much of the leg press. I always hated it. It was always a lesser/secondary to squatting. I do think the particular machine helps (vs. other styles of leg press machine), but it’s more having to make this a primary movement and working to wring out the most from it. It’s not an afterthought movement… I’m glad I’m coming to better appreciate the old leg press. It then touches on two things:

First, Paul Carter. While sometimes Paul’s online communication approach rubs me the wrong way, I’ve long appreciated his coaching and knowledge; his teaching is probably 2nd behind Wendler for me. His most recent thing is around “effective reps”. I’ve been exploring that, aiming for 5-8 rep sets to failure (or very close to it). Also, 3 minutes rest between sets. Pushing this hard has been… different. It’s taken a while to work up to where I am, and I’m still not feeling like I’m really pushing it… I’m getting there, but not there yet. And the results are so far solid.

I mean, I can feel more “boulder” with my biceps. I am quite aware of more pectoral, especially clavicular – thank you John Meadows 20º incline bench pressing. I can see my calves popping (both gastroc and soleus). Delts are getting wider. I’ve got hamstrings. Shit’s growing.

Second, less/reducing volume. I was doing more volume – in terms of simple sets & reps, and weight – because I know roughly how much stimulus I need to “stimulate, not annihilate”. Well, as things are getting heavier, as I push more towards true failure, I really need less “overall volume” in favor of “effective volume”. So I’m dropping some warm-up sets – it’s not much, but it all adds up (I don’t need those warm-ups, like going from incline benching to JM press, I was doing a few more warm-up/light sets to learn the movement, but I basically feel I have the groove so I just go right into the work sets).

Also, I’m still getting stronger – the one major indicator is my incline benching. I just did 265×3@8.5, which is all time PR. The fun thing about doing very different exercises (than SBD/P) is there’s all new PRs to set! Plus, I’m really trying to make the # on the bar be a secondary thought: not what I pursue, but a nice thing when it happens. Like to incline 300 will be pretty cool… give me a year, since I’m enjoying plodding along 5# per meso, and that will stall at some point (probably 280, based on how that 265 moved). Still, I’ll get there.

So getting bigger, getting stronger, and not feeling so beat up all the time. What’s not to like?

Next

I’ve been debating if I should replace the Lower B leg press (high-feet, glute) with something like RDLs. It was the “too much” factor. But reducing some of the volume on leg pressing has helped. If I can continue to reduce that volume while still making gains, great. I may still switch, we’ll see. But I’m enjoying this leg pressing stuff so… we’ll see.

I do want to continue to reduce “volume” where I can.

I want to keep doing my “yoga”. That’s been not an everyday thing, but I am more sensitive to it and do these moves and stretches more often. I of course can still improve here. But no question this helps all the things.

But for the most part, I’m going to keep on. It’s pretty simple progression for the most part: 3×5-8@9-10 is the goal. Trying to do “as little as I can” in terms of volume, but pouring that much more into every single rep. It’s a slow progression for me, just keep adding weight & reps each session (e.g. 1 more pound, 1 more rep) and just keep pushing it. Over time, it’ll all catch up. Then I can reset, new exercises, etc. So just keep going until it’s time to not keep going.

Diet

This is been interesting. I’ve been tracking my intake (roughly) with Macrofactor. I’m not strictly following it, it’s more a visibility and accountability thing for me. The app has some good parts, but annoys me a bit too (speaking as an iOS developer for many years). Still, it’s helped me hone in on some things. I can validate that if I basically aim for 50g protein 4x/day and make sure I do that, I’ll be in good shape. Then eat the carbs and fat my body needs, don’t go overboard. And don’t snack or overdo it. That’s the big one that I’m struggling with as it’s massive habit to overcome. But I’m recognizing it and having more successes than before so… it’s coming along.

Really? I need to become comfortable with being hungry, both literally and figuratively. That will change everything. It’s slow progress, but that’s still progress.

The Real Power of 5/3/1

/ hsoi

Jim Wendler‘s 5/3/1 (overview) is an amazing strength building program. It’s not everything, but it is something. I’ve had success with it over a number of years, and so have many others – including my sons.

Many focus upon the templates: Boring But Big, Triumverate, Beach Body, Krypteia, and there’s gazillions more (just buy the books). Templates are one magic of 5/3/1. I assert the real power of 5/3/1 is the principles.

5/3/1 was founded upon 4 principles: emphasize big, multi-joint movements; starting too light; progress slowly; break personal records. When you understand what drives and underlies these principles, it continues to hold no matter what you do. I shifted back to 5/3/1 for a time, saw good results, but I’m not a young man any more and the wear and tear caught up with me so I’m shifting to more hypertrophy-oriented work (for a time). The 5/3/1 principles remain. Starting too light and progress slowly hold well in hypertrophy work as I ease into the novel stimulus). Big movements are good, perhaps with more stability, like a Cybex machine press. PRs can now be rep PRs, inches on my biceps gained, inches around my waist lost.

5/3/1 as originally conceived is not something I can do so much any more. However, the principles of 5/3/1 will forever carry me forward.

Where’s the fucking dot?

/ hsoi / 8 Comments

Yesterday was a Defensive Pistol Skills 2 day at KR Training. I was assisting Karl with class. After class, a few students reshot the Three Seconds or Less test, and I joined them on the line.

I shot with the Sig P365XL Holosun from my Enigma/JMCK. I finally picked up a Sport Belt (where have you been all my life you sweet thing!). I also chose to rotate my carry ammo, so throughout the day I shot up my Gold Dot 124 grain +P.

First thing I noticed was I was going back into the holster by the time students were just breaking their first shot. Getting out of the holster quickly has merit.

Second, I way failed the test.

Where was the fucking dot?

That’s all that kept going through my head.

Where’s the fucking dot?

I tried playing with some things like slide/window indexing. But still… where’s the fucking dot?

During class, I was running the shoothouse. Afterwards I cranked off some 25+ yard rounds to the 3-D reactive targets – behold the power of the dot.

If you can fucking find it. 🤪

I’ve not been dry practicing for a couple weeks. I’ve been massively burned out due to sleep issues. If I can’t increase my reserves I have to cut expenditures. It’s why I took the last week off from the gym, and why I’m readjusting my gym work with regards to fatigue management. In fact, I’m writing this on a late Sunday afternoon, where I’ve napped most of the day and am starting to regain myself. I rewatched this from Rob Leatham:

and I’m feeling a rise within to want to get back to work.

That’s a good sign.

Oh another thing. It’s ok to suck in public. A couple students stayed after and spectated the shooting. I – the instructor – failed and sucked in front of students/clients. On the one hand, I get the ego involvement and protection. On the other, as Jake the Dog said:

Dude, suckin’ at something is the first step to being sorta good at something.

Jake the Dog, from the TV show “Adventure Time”