Life

Children learn from our example

/ hsoi / 1 Comment

“The Angry Coach” at EliteFTS was writing A Sad Commentary on the State of Youth Sports. As I read it, it actually felt like a sad commentary on today’s youth and parenting in general.

He was observing a youth sports practice, and three things stuck out to him:

1. Practice started at 9 AM, but more than half the team showed up at 9 on the dot or later. This kills me. As a coach, 9 does not mean 9. Ideally, it means about 8:30. At a minimum, it means 8:45. When your kid has practice at 9, and you drop him/her off at exactly 9 (or worse, you’re later, which many parents were), what message are you sending? These are not going to be the “first in the weight room, last out” kids, because that concept will always be foreign to them. The good player, when he has practice at 9, shows up 20-30 minutes early, gets his equipment on, then goes out and warms up with his friends, throwing the ball around. He doesn’t show up when practice is supposed to start, stealing everyone’s time while he gets ready. That’s a shitty message to send your kid.

2. I saw multiple parents carrying their kids’ equipment bags across the street for them. I’ve never seen anything like this before, but I guess it’s because I don’t have kids of my own and because I’m not really involved with any youth leagues. For pretty much every other kid on this team, one parent would open the back of the mini-van, take out the kid’s gear bag, and carry it across the street while the kid walked over with his friends. I saw one kid (remember, they were 12, tops) on a cell phone while his mother was carrying his equipment. I don’t think I need to go into great detail on how this will hinder these kids as athletes. What was shocking about it was the number of parents doing it.

3. I saw multiple parents ignoring the one-way signs at the entrance to the parking lot so they could jockey for closer parking spaces. Again, another horrific message to send your kid (and likely one of the reasons why my car insurance payments are so f-ing high). This teaches the young athlete a number of things: 1) Narcissism, i.e., “I’m entitled to a better parking space than all my teammates.” 2) Taking the easy way out. 3) Flouting the rules because “we’re special and they don’t apply to us.” 4) “Nobody else matters but me, and I can do whatever I want no matter how much it inconveniences my team.”

Frankly, I see all three of these things as a more general problem today.

What happened to being early is being on time, and being on time is late? I deal with this every day, where meetings are set for a certain time, and people consider that time to start thinking about coming to the meeting. No, if the meeting starts at 10:00, you are seated and ready to go by 10:00, not that at 10:02 you leave your desk and saunter in delaying everyone until you grace us with your presence. Everyone seems to give service to the notion that time is precious and matters, but yet, actions don’t treat that time as precious.

What happened to kids being kids, and parents being parents, instead of parents being the servants of children? Parents should not be begging their children to undertake some action; the child should be told, the child should do, and if they don’t there are negative consequences. Granted, it’s not always so cut and dry, but the parent is supposed to be the one in charge. Should Mom be stuck unloading the groceries from the car while the kids run into the house and play? Hell no! They should be unloading, putting everything away, and doing their part to help out around the house. They should carry their own bags, their own stuff. Sure, small children are different, but as they get older, they need to start being given more treatment like adults, which includes carrying your own weight.

And #3. Oh, I deal with this one too often. I have nothing more to add above what The Angry Coach wrote.

Really, you want to know why kids are as they are today? Here’s a good starting list. And really, it just leads back to the parents… because they will learn from our example. And if this is the example set, what will their children learn from them?

That’s how you get a customer – Brothers In Arms

/ hsoi / 10 Comments

Another story of “this is how customer service is supposed to be”. Actually, this isn’t so much what we think of as customer service — an after the fact correcting of a problem — but rather how you earn a customer in the first place.

This is about a place called Brothers In Arms (Facebook page)

After a short day at KR Training, I was determined on my drive home to find someone selling a Smith & Wesson M&P9c. There are numerous gun stores on the drive home, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to stop into them just to see.

There’s a new store in Bastrop that I’ve been meaning to stop into and check out, so I finally did. It’s a small shop, and while the owner was polite, he seemed stand-off-ish and didn’t engage me much. I looked around, it’s a nice little store, but they didn’t have what I wanted so I left.

Then I learned that John’s Guns closed. I had no idea. I liked going in there when I could, but rarely could because any time I was out in that area I was either there well before opening or well after closing time. But it was nice mom & pop store, but seems John retired… at least, according to the sign in the window, and the fact the interior was being renovated.

Out on TX-71 before you get into Austin, I kept seeing these banners for “custom gunsmithing” and other related avertisement, so I figured that’d be worth a try too.

That’s Brothers in Arms.

Turns out they’re actually a full-fledged custom shop, run by two bothers.

I walked in and Brad immediately engaged me, asking what I was looking for. I told him, and when he said he didn’t have any, he immediately turned to his computer to see about ordering one. His distributor had many in stock, he quoted me a price and delivery time, and we had a sale.

That’s how you do it.

I knew I wasn’t going to be out that way for a few weeks, and I knew I wanted some things done to the gun, like replacing the factory sights and installing an Apex kit. Since they were obviously gunsmiths, I asked if I could order the parts and have them shipped to their store, and then have them install them. No problem.  When I got home, I got online, made the orders, and away things went.

I did have some email exchanges with Brad, and he was always prompt in replying. We did have a slight communication confusion about the work and pick up time, but the did right by the customer in the end. They did go out of their way at off time to ensure I had everything done at a time that was convenient for me to do the pick up. When I did, I bought Oldest with me, and they were again open and engaging with him as he asked questions.

That’s how you earn a customer. You engage them, and work to meet their needs. They didn’t need my business (evident by the custom work they do, and the backlog of work they have). They quoted me a good price, were very accommodating, and worked to ensure I walked away happy. I’m more than happy to use them again, and would recommend y’all try them too. Yes, it’s a short drive outside of Austin, but that also avoids the higher Austin sales tax. 🙂  They give fair prices, do good work, and want to earn your business. Can’t ask for more.

 

Survive or Prevail

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

I read a posting on Facebook about a man on death row for 33 years before being executed. Think about it from the victim’s family’s perspective — waiting 33 years for some sort of closure.

How old are you today? Think about your age 33 years before today, and your ages 33 years after today. That’s a mighty long time.

But it’s not so much his story that I want to focus on here. It’s something posted in the comments on the story.

They mentioned the writings of Dr. Alexis Artwohl. It was Chuck Haggard that wrote:

Her statment [sic] was to a class I was in, she was addressing mindset and training for cops. She thought that the “officer survival” idea was setting the bar too low. If you set the bar at “survive”, and you fall short, then where does that leave you? She thought officers should be training to prevail, to dominate a fight, not just survive, then if they fall short of the goal hopefully they will at least survive. Then she said; “And if you can’t survive then you need to take the motherfucker with you, do not make your family sit through a murder trial”.

Dr. Artwohl makes a good point when it comes to mindset: to survive? or to prevail?

You’ve heard people say things like “shoot for the moon, because if you miss at least you land amongst the stars” or other such sayings. The point is to aim high, strive for as much as you can. If you achieve it, life will be awesome. But if you fall short, you’ll still be in pretty good shape. There is also the implication that if you strive for anything less, life won’t be so good. It’s about “margin of error” allowing for the fact that life may not always come out like you want or plan it, so you need to aim high enough, far enough, so if things don’t work out precisely as planned, at least they’ll work out acceptably. Else, things could be pretty bad.

So if we consider this a reasonable procedure for the rest of life, be it our jobs, the people we marry, our hobbies, sports, whatever pursuits we have in life… why don’t we follow the same procedure for our very life itself?

Perhaps it’s because it sounds too aggressive to “win”. It’s more socially acceptable to be a survivor. It seems like you have to go on the offense to prevail, when we’re taught so much that it’s better to be defensive (never mind that the best defense is a good offense). Social conditioning at work? Perhaps to our detriment?

Consider your focus, consider how you frame things. Is it to just survive? or is it to prevail? If you fail to survive, you certainly did not prevail. But if you fail to prevail, you may still be able to survive.

Strive to prevail.

Let it serve as a reminder

/ hsoi / 4 Comments

The past few days, so people have been appalled at the Black Friday horror videos of the mobs, the tasers, the pepper spray, the trampling, the fighting… all over some merchandise.

Let it serve as a reminder that for as far as we’ve come (and we must have come pretty far when we have it so good we can fight over high-def TVs and not over where our next meal will come from), the veneer of civilization remains thin.

Recognition for good customer service

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

I want to make a public statement about some good customer service I recently received.

I’ve studied with SouthNarc and really admire his approach, his knowledge, and his products. For the past some years I’ve wanted to pick up one of his Clinch Picks, but they were no longer being made.

Well, he’s been working on getting some production versions made, and they’ve finally become available through ccdefense.com. In fact, it’s been great that a lot of SouthNarc’s stuff is finally available again via ccdefense: be it the clinch pick, the clinch pick trainer, top popper, or his DVD’s. All good stuff.

So I previously ordered stuff from ccdefense and received it no problem. Then some weeks ago I decided to order some more stuff. Well, the stuff didn’t show up in a timely manner. When I contacted Will @ ccdefense, he looked into matters. We’re not sure what happened as the USPS said it was delivered, but I sure didn’t receive it. But Will didn’t leave things be. He said he would ask the Shivworks guys if he could just send me another order. Yesterday I received my order, plus one of Shivworks’ DVDs (I already had the DVD, but it was a nice gesture). I don’t know what happened to the first order, but if I ever receive it (I’ve had that happen — 2nd order gets sent out, and then a month later the original shows up), I will send it back. Updated: Will let me know he did get the package back from the Post Office; apparently the package got caught in a sorting machine and it destroyed the box. So that explains that.

I wanted to make this positive customer service experience known. It’s my understanding Will does this on the side, so he’s got other things in his life to deal with — this is not his primary focus in a day. But he went out of his way to remedy a problem that was probably my fault (due to how I sent payment through PayPal). There was no hassle, no problem, just a desire to make things right. Plus I got a little extra, which was totally unnecessary but very cool.

Will (and perhaps Craig too), thank you very much for your good customer service.

Learn to Read Korean in 15 minutes

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

I may be half-Korean, but my knowledge of Korean is pretty poor. The main reason is lack of exposure — I just don’t need nor use much Korean in a day, week, or month. Use it or lose it, y’know?

When I was studying a Korean martial art, I had actually brushed up on my Korean speaking and reading skills pretty well, but since that time, everything’s waned. Heck, if there’s any second speaking/reading (as opposed to programming) language I should know, it’d be Spanish, given the daily exposure I have to it.

Still, some time ago I came across this nifty little resource on How to Read Korean in 15 Minutes (and I always meant to blog about it, so finally here I am). The cool thing is Hangul is phonetic, so once you recognize the characters, sounding things out isn’t that difficult. Of course, to fully understand Korean is another matter, but I’ve found the ability to read and sound things out to be useful.

Story time.

Wife loves Korean pancakes (Pa-Jeon). My mom told me I needed to look for this flour/powder mix called “Buchim Garu” (that’s how you pronounce it). She told me over the phone, so I knew what the words sounded like, but I had no idea what it looked like. And of course, everything at the Korean grocery store will be written in Korean.

Enter the joy of the phonetic language!

I was in the store aisle that was obviously of the flowers and powder mixes. I picked up bags, looked at labels, and tried sounding things out (hopefully your browser/computer can show Korean)

부 (bu….)

부침 (bu… chim…)

부침가루 HA! Buchim Garu!

I was triumphant. 🙂

(Funny… Google Translate translates that as “fluctuations powder”. Heh. “Frying powder” is more correct, but I like fluctuations powder)

 

Pushing – walking a fine line

/ hsoi

In a prior article, I referenced an article written by Kathy Jackson. Kathy discusses her role as a self-defense instructor, and the gravity of that role. And while she might strive to make a fun class and work to see her students enjoy her teaching, she understands there’s something more she must do:

In order to fulfill my most important responsibility to my students, I have to risk pushing them beyond their comfort levels. And I have to do it in a way that will cause them to work harder rather than to shut down. If I’m not willing to take that risk for the sake of my students’ lives, I have no right to call myself a self-defense instructor.

We do this in classes at KR Training, varying the level of “push” depending upon the class. In a class like Basic Pistol 1, for some of the students they are pushing their comfort levels merely by attending class and picking up a gun for the first time, so we instructors don’t need to add push and pressure (just comfort and reassurance). In a class like Defensive Pistol Skills 1, we start to relay the gravity of carrying a gun and what self-defense actually involves, so we have students shoot on a timer and yes there’s some yelling by the instructors to raise the pressure levels (because someone trying to kill you is going to be a pressure-filled event!). Then you get to force-on-force classes, and those have a range of discomfort as well.

I think that’s why some people avoid training, or at least, particular types of training.

I know I’m victim of it. I’m human too. I like comfort. I like known. I don’t like getting my ass kicked, I don’t like the physical pain, I don’t like the ego bruising.

But we don’t get better unless we push ourselves. Heck, the only reason I can squat 300# now is because I pushed myself over my fears, over my discomfort, over my hate of squatting, over my fear of getting hurt, fear of not being able to get back up. I pushed myself, I got better.

Generally we shouldn’t take big leaps: someone that’s never done force-on-force before, even just verbal no-contact role-playing stuff, probably shouldn’t take SouthNarc’s ECQC as a first go. But if the thought of force-on-force is a little scary to you, I urge to to find a “101-level” type of FoF class (e.g. KR Training’s AT-2) and give it a try. I’ve never seen anyone come out of such a class not better for it.

So realize, when your teacher, coach, instructor, whatever pushes you, it’s an attempt to help you get better. If we go too far over the line, it’s not malicious; but do let us know so we can be mindful (because too far will just cause you to shut down and close off to learning). But don’t worry if you feel a little uncomfortable: we all did, we all do, we all will, and we all will grow from it.

Sometimes, you gotta be Dad first

/ hsoi

As the kids get older, it’s been fun to take them to various events to “expand their cultural horizons”.

I remember when I was a kid, my parents taking me to things like plays, musicals, orchestral concerts. True “high culture” stuff.

Me? I went with Daughter to see Orange Goblin and Holy Grail. 🙂  Oh sure, we’ll do some of the “high culture” stuff too, but I’m still going to do the things I enjoy, and that tends to be a little rough around the edges.

So, speaking of “high culture”….

I’ve wanted to see Gov’t Mule for some time. I’d call myself a casual fan overall, but I really love the passion and soul Warren Haynes puts into his singing, playing, and songwriting. I know they’re a band that you have to see live to truly appreciate, and finally I got the chance.

As a side note, I had never heard of opening act Vintage Trouble before buying tickets for this show. When I saw the bill, checked VT out, and Daughter and I became instant fans. Really good stuff. And their live show? Huge energy. Singer Ty Taylor knows how to command the stage and the audience. Do yourself a favor and check these guys out. Here are 3 tracks to check out: “Nobody Told Me” (the first song I heard, and it sold me), “Blues Hand Me Down“, and “Pelvis Pusher” (if this song doesn’t make you want to get up and boogie, I don’t know how to help you).

Anyways…

We figured it would be fun to take the whole family to see Gov’t Mule. I wanted to go, Daughter did, Wife did, and the boys… well, let’s just say they were good sports. 😉

We piled in the car, went downtown, had a great dinner, then into the show. Vintage Trouble tore it up, and being a live show in Austin… everyone around us was sparking up.

Then Gov’t Mule took the stage, and suddenly I found myself transported to Amsterdam.

I swear I’ve not seen and smelled so much pot smoke in my life.  I think even the trees were toking. 🙂

It was evident this wasn’t sitting well with the family. They’re just not around smoke at all (neither Wife nor I smoke, and with Austin’s indoor smoking ban, you just don’t get exposed much to any smoke). Plus, marijuana smoke is a lot more harsh than tobacco smoke, so young lungs just couldn’t take it. It was even a little much for me, but I deal with it because I’m wanting to see the show.

After a little bit, the kids were feeling bad, so we tried moving back to a more open spot. It was better (and tho further from the stage, it was elevated so you could see better), but still not great. I mean, we were near the entrance so no one was going to smoke pot there, but enough cigarettes against already irritated child airways and well….

Sometimes you gotta be Dad.

We left the show about half-way through.

*sigh*

Yeah I was disappointed, but the kids are of course more important. I’ll check the rest of the show out on muletracks later.

But there was some fun and good that came out of it.

The kids are now well-aware of what marijuana smells like. “Mom? I smell skunk…” Yes,  Youngest; that’s marijuana.

And I think they’ve all been cured of any desire to smoke pot. 🙂  It’s good when you don’t have to struggle later to pull up the weeds (pun intended), when the seeds don’t get sown in the first place.