Philosophy

On fear

/ hsoi / 1 Comment

Last night I finished reading Col. Jeff Cooper‘s book To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth.

An interesting and enlightening book. Cooper, no question has his mind set in particular ways. You may not agree with him, but without question he’s been a major influence on the craft of shooting. The book comes across as a series of “talks” or stories on a topic. Some remembering past hunting trips, told as if you were sitting around a campfire having a beer and sharing with your mates. Some passages were Cooper’s take on pistols or rifles and how to use them properly. Certainly there was a dose of his philosophy, politics, and view on life and the world.

A common question from the hoplophobes (Cooper’s term) regarding gun ownership  is “What are you afraid of?”. Questions about your mental state and your level of paranoia inevitably arise. This passage from Cooper’s book struck me in this regard:

Danger, to be appreciated, must be known. Our lives were all forfeit when we were born, but the hour of our peril is not always apparent to us. As you read this you may be seconds away from a fatal heart attack, but you are not in danger – so to speak – since you do not know that you are. Danger, in this sense, is the awareness of the possibility of imminent death. It is always a shocking experience but it need not be terrifying – and it absolutely must not be allowed to become incapacitating.

“Fear” and “terror” are words too often used in the Age of the Common Man. When I was a lad they were not admissible. Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Tarzan, for example, said, “I do not know what you mean by ‘fear’. I do not want to die, if that is what you mean, but you speak as if there were something more to it than that.” Fear that nullifies a man’s ability to cope with the danger which gives rise to the fear is an unacceptable emotion. The awareness of peril, however, is not the same thing at all, because in properly organized personalities it heightens perceptivity, sets the heart and mind to greater activity, and stimulates the entire consciousness in a way not otherwise realized.

I like Cooper’s distinction here on the effects of fear. That is, if fear paralyzes you, that’s not good. If instead you are aware, accept, and acknowledge peril exists and it motivates you to greater things, that’s good.

I don’t think the world is as horrible as the mainstream media paints for us and taints our perception. I don’t think there is evil lurking around every corner waiting to pounce on me, my wife, my children. But I do know evil is out there, and it only takes one incident to be too many. I work to make myself aware of peril and allow it to motivate my heart and mind to greater activity. Denying it exists doesn’t make it not exist, it merely puts you in a state of denial. Not being prepared puts you at a disadvantage, regardless of context or situation.

Some people find it odd that I study defensive pistolcraft and martial arts, but yet my sincere hope is to never use them in contexts beyond training, practice, and recreation. Why study them if you intend to never (truly) use them? We study language because we wish to communicate with others. We study math because we wish to engage in commerce. We tend to study and learn things specifically because we wish to directly use them. But this martial stuff…. that’s one of those “I’d rather have it (the knowledge and skill) and not need it, than need it and not have it” sort of things.

Don’t fear the sun

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

Linoge made a comment on my  posting “I’m not so sure about that“. As I wrote a reply I realized that what I had to say warranted a full-on blog posting. So here it is.

Wife and I have chosen to homeschool our kids. Why? Numerous reasons, but the key ones are the public school system sucks and we’re not rolling in enough dough to consider private school. I went to public schools all my life, Wife was in private Catholic schools. While I think my public school experience wasn’t too bad, I have heard from old friends with younger siblings how the same top-notch schools we went to have degraded. Due to things like “No Child Left Behind” concerns are less on true education and more on test scores. I know all too well how you can get an “A” on a test and walk out of the classroom knowing nothing (no cheating involved, it’s just about working/gaming the test and not on gaining true education and knowledge). So when Oldest was an infant and we started to think about our schooling choices, homeschooling wasn’t something we had ever thought about but the more we researched the option the more it appealed to us. Every year we reevaluate our options and approach because the bottom line is we want the best for our children and if situations change and there’s a better avenue, we’ll take it. So far no better avenue has surfaced and we continue to homeschool our children.

Of course, whenever you mention the word “homeschooling” to someone, the Pavlovian response is “But what about socialization?”. The “S” word. Socialization takes on a different meaning these days and frankly that’s socialization we can do without. And certainly homeschoolers can be a little bitter about the FAQs we’re constantly hit with. But if there is one thing I’m well aware of it is that my children can be sheltered due to homeschooling. Since they are not surrounded by those of their age group for 8 hours a day every day, there’s no question my children don’t receive the “socialization” that kids attending public or private school receive. In part that is one reason for homeschooling, because we can exert more control and influence over our children, who they are exposed to, what influences them. Remember that not all influences are good ones, and even with our controls our kids still get exposed to bad ones (Oldest had a bully situation at a summer camp last year). But I know that my job with my children is to provide them with the skills and knowledge that enables them to not just survive but thrive in the world. My children are only spending a short time with me; most of their life and time is going to be spent as an adult in the real world, so they need to know how to work with the real world — which includes knowing how the real world is, good and bad and ugly. To truly shelter my children is not doing them any sort of service.

I admit that you shouldn’t expose your children to all things, or at least that you have to be mindful of when and how to expose them. There is something about making things age-appropriate and ensuring the child has the maturity and capability to understand and handle what you’re doing. Let’s take guns as an example. There’s not much reason to introduce an infant to guns, but as soon as infant is able to be mobile (about 6 months, crawling stage), you as a responsible parent and gun owner must take steps to secure your firearms because that infant will get into everything and knows nothing and no amount of attempting to teach them about guns is going to help. As your child gets older and can understand what guns are about, even if they cannot fathom death, it can be reasonable to start to introduce things to them. For instance, if you’re watching cartoons and Bugs Bunny puts his carrot into the muzzle-end of Elmer Fudd’s shotgun and Elmer just gets a blackened face, it’s worthwhile to start explaining to your child the difference between fantasy and reality. Then when you think your child is able to handle more regarding guns, you can expose them as you wish. Look at Kathy Jackson’s articles on Kids and Guns for some excellent writings on the topic. If nothing else, and certainly when kids are at a younger age, you should introduce them to Eddie Eagle. His message of “Stop. Don’t touch. Leave the area. Tell an adult.” teaches nothing about gun handling, but a lot about keeping kids safe if they encounter a gun.

Do my children know about guns? Certainly. I make guns no mystery to them, and frankly this has caused them to think of guns as rather mundane with little appeal. I think that’s a good thing as there’s no forbidden fruit syndrome to make guns enticing. Do I care about teaching them defensive uses of firearms? No, not at this point. Right now I just teach them safety rules, marksmanship, fundamentals, and most of all to just have fun. Sometimes if something comes up, sure I’ll discuss it, but it’s not hypercritical at this point to give them intensive defensive handgunning 101. But basic ways to stay safe? Sure. Things like the InSights ABC’s (Always Be Cool). To be aware of surroundings and trust your gut. And certainly other more specific things get taught, just not some intensive course like I might enjoy taking. The reality is that shit happens, and if the shit happens to my kids I want to ensure they’re able to return home. The thought of not being able to hold and hug my child is most unappealing to me, and it’s my duty and responsibility as a parent to ensure they have every skill and bit of knowledge possible to ensure their success in life.

I don’t live my life in fear, and I do my best to encourage my children to do the same. Yes they have fears, but I teach them true ways of being empowered to conquer those fears. Allow and accept the fears to happen, face them, let them pass over and through you, learn to control them, and channel them to your advantage. I remember when my kids first climbed a ladder and they’d only go up a few steps, but then the day came when they climbed to the top and gleefully shouted “Dad look! I did it!” Small thing perhaps, but the lesson is they were afraid of the height, of the new experience, but they didn’t let the fear stop them and in the end they conquered their fear. This has enabled Oldest to enjoy having the upper bunk-bed; how life is better when you don’t live in fear, eh?

You only have so much time and so much energy in life, why expend it on fear? How much life can you enjoy? Fear is what leads to sheltering, and while I won’t say it’s not justified, if you’re always stuck in the shelter you never get to see the sun and all the beauty that comes from it.

Guns and fear

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

This morning while doing my rounds to the blogs I read, I was struck by two stories and posted about them here and here. While reading Midnight Rider’s recounting of his story, this part struck me:

Be prepared to pull that trigger. Strangely I felt no fear during the incident and knew I was ready, had I seen someone within my home, to counter that threat.

It’s then interesting that yet another blog posting from Rebecca also made this morning was also dwelling on fear. Her fear was different:

To keep a handgun in one’s house insinuates, in my opinion, a certain amount of fear, which is why guns are so scary.

A few hours after reading her article it was still rolling around in my head and it hit me. She’s afraid of guns. She’s afraid of bad people and that they use guns to obtain power and control over her and her family. She’s afraid of her child becoming a bad person. She’s afraid of her child being hurt or killed, due to guns. She’s afraid that mere presense of a gun in a household means death for her child. She implies that those who own guns are afraid — and likely some are — but maybe here we’ve got the old “spec in their eye, log in your own” situation.

If someone does own a gun out of fear? Is that bad? A woman that’s been raped and fears repercussions or another attack because the rapist got away. Is her fear an unjustified reason for owning a gun? The woman with the abusive husband or boyfriend, has the restraining order but pieces of paper only do so much good, and fears for the lives of herself and her children. Is her fear an unjustified reason for owning a gun? Or even big strong me. If fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat” then I guess I may well have some fear that motivates me…  knowledge there are evil people out there that have no qualms about bringing injury to myself or my family, and my fear of losing them to something so senseless, especially when I have the power to do something about it.

In me, I know where my fear comes from: it comes from how I was raised. My mother was very protective. What underlies protectiveness? Fear. Fear of harm, mostly. Could be simple things like fear of falling out of the tree and breaking your arm. Or it could be worse things. But I know that given how I was raised, fear can be a strong ingrained reaction in me. Now I’m not blaming my childhood as some horrible thing that has scarred me for life boo-hoo me. Nope. I’m just accepting how things are, and trying to better my situation. I’m not letting my fear control me, I’m controlling my fear.

Martial arts study? It gets you over the fear of being hit. Sure you still don’t want to get hit, but you accept you will, you learn how to defend (block, avoid, etc.), and when you do get hit it’s no big deal.

Motorcycles? Well, I don’t ride a crotch rocket, but there’s still a level of fear you have to overcome because there’s no question you’re more vulnerable out there. But you can take riding classes, wear proper gear, and expect the cagers to be stupid and thus ride defensively.

Guns? I hope I go my entire life and my use of guns is nothing but training and recreation. I hope I go my whole life and never have to defend myself in such a way. Was I afraid of guns? Sure. I remember the first time I handled a handgun and how I felt. My friend that introduced me told me at first to just load one round at a time: one in the magazine, seat the magazine, rack the slide, fire. Many reasons for doing that for a first-timer, but my friend expected me to do that a few rounds then load up the magazine and go. Nope. I went through a box or two of ammo one round at a time. My friend didn’t believe it, but I admit I was afraid and wanted to take it slow. All those years of conditioning to be afraid of guns took a little time to get over.

Do I fear guns? No. Do I respect guns? Yes. They are powerful tools. In the wrong hands they can be used for great evil. In the right hands, they can be used to fight that evil.

Fear is a natural human emotion. Fear in and of itself isn’t good nor bad, it just is. Like everything in life, it’s what  you do with things that determine if that thing winds up being put in the “good” column or “bad” column of your life. I have chosen to take my fears and not let them control me. I work to control my fears, to overcome them, to channel them into positives that will work towards my success in anything and everything in life. I admit I will have fear, but I cannot let fear have me.

If one thinks, he will be taken by his thoughts.

/ hsoi / 2 Comments

If one thinks, he will be taken by his thoughts.

–Takuan Soho

I subscribe to Brian Enos’ Maku mozo! mailing list. This was today’s quote.

It struck me because of my morning range experience. I’ve discussed this in other places on my blog when I talk about guns or martial arts or mindset, that when you think about something well… you’re thinking about that something and it consumes your thoughts and probably your actions too. This is neither good nor bad in and of itself, but what it causes you to do could be judged to be good or bad. This morning at the range I didn’t think about speed, I didn’t think to not think about speed (which is ultimately still thinking about speed). I did think about being smooth. Thus, I was smooth. When I assessed my performance and then thought about speed, I realized I wasn’t too bad with my speed but moreover I was shooting accurately and consistently (well, 25 yards needs work). If I allowed myself to be taken by thoughts of speed, that’s how I would have focused my shooting and that would not have lead me to the results I wanted. Instead, I allowed myself to be taken by thoughts of smoothness, and that lead me to the results I wanted.

Takuan’s words aren’t good or bad, it’s what I choose to do with my thoughts and even if I choose to think at all.

Tough times don’t last; tough people do.

/ hsoi

Gibson Guitars has an interview with Zakk Wylde, guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne and the creative force behind Black Label Society. Some people give Zakk a bunch of crap, but I’ve yet to see any of them give Zakk that same crap to his face. 🙂  I’ve seen BLS live and it’s most enjoyable. Good music (tho I think some of the later albums were rushed and not as inspired as the earlier albums). Nevertheless, Zakk’s got the right attitude:

Zakk on Metallica and Some Kind of Monster
“When I saw the guys, I said, ‘What were you thinkin’?’ Who needs a psychiatrist? Like I need marriage counseling? I’ve been married for 24 years. Look, I’m gonna get in fights with the wife and that’s life, man. You got the high and the lows. You’re in a band, you’re gonna fight, you’re gonna get over it or it wasn’t meant to be any more.

“The bottom line is this: Tough times don’t last; tough people do.

“Once Mom sent me to Promises rehab. I said, ‘Promises rehab?’ I’ll make you a promise right now: either I’m going to cap myself or some mother is going to die in this joint.’ And one of the bylaws of Black Label is ‘suicide is not an option.’ I got in there and had no time for those weak-willed assholes. One guy said he just couldn’t get out of bed in the morning to get to the group therapy meetings. I said, ‘Hey, sometimes I don’t want to get up on that stage but you get your damn jock strap on, you man up, and you do it.’ I’ve got no time for weak willed bull****. I was cut from the same cloth as General Patton.

“Hey, lions are born lions. They are not made. Berserkers are born berserkers. They are not made. Marines are born Marines. They are not made. Get tough or get out.”
 

He who looks too hard at the outside gets clumsy on the inside

/ hsoi

When you’re betting for stones in an archery contest, you shoot with skill.

When you’re betting for fancy belt buckles, you worry about your aim.

And when you’re betting for real gold, you’re a nervous wreck.

Your skill is the same in all three cases – but because one prize means more to you than another, you let outside concerns weigh on your mind.

He who looks too hard at the outside gets clumsy on the inside.

-Chuang Tzu

This came into my inbox a few days ago. It’s relevant to where I am in life right now. When things don’t matter, I’m doing great. When important things are on the line, I don’t do so well. I’ve written about my trials in this, and also what I’m doing about it and how it’s working well.

Just good things to keep in mind.

Your Thought for the Day

/ hsoi

From the Baltimore Zen Center, The High Road.

Am I cold? I do my best to just be. If I’m cold, I’ll warm myself. If I’m warm, I’ll cool myself.

This leads me to think about what we teach our children. I know I used to tell my kids to never hit, violence was not the answer. My experience has shown most parents/adults believe and teach the same. Over the years I’ve come to take a different view, that yes sometimes violence is the right answer. Yes you have to do your best to avoid it, most any other option is preferable. But sometimes a punch in the nose is the correct response. The tough part is learning when it is the correct response.

Go read. Then think about it. Perhaps you’ll see what I mean.