Tolerance. You keep using that word…

… I do not think it means what you think it means. (thank you Inigo Montoya).

I just read a story. A guy was sitting in a restaurant. At the next table some elderly gentleman was apparently speaking very loudly to his dining companion. The first gentleman was aghast because he was listening to the old man saying “the most disgusting, evil racist invective” he had heard. The first gentleman was so incensed he “was ready to jump over the booth and stab him in the eye with a fork.” While he didn’t do that, he did loudly state that he “should have requested seating in ‘no bigot'”, and the old man’s dining companion then steered the conversation in another direction.

While I cannot deny the old man’s intolerance of blacks and women, the first gentleman is also displaying great intolerance; in fact, the intolerance is so strong it aroused violent feelings within him.

The sad part is, I know the first gentleman and I believe he considers himself an open-minded progressive person. The fact he is upset at hearing someone speaking in racist tones denotes that he considers himself a tolerant and non-racist person. But it’s evident he still has his prejudices. The question is, is he aware of the log in his own eye?

If you are truly tolerant, then you are going to be tolerant. Period. That means you are going to deal with things you do not like or agree with, or could find totally revolting. THAT is toleration; dealing with things you already like, by definition, is not toleration. So if you’re going to call yourself tolerant, then you best behave that way, period. Or, be honest in your assessment and representation of yourself.

I make no bones about the fact that I’m not a totally tolerant person. I really don’t care what your skin color is, gender, race, religion, national origin, creed, hair style, clothing, if you have less than 10 fingers, the shape of your nose, your choice in music, whatever. I really don’t care.  Yeah I may not like all of it, but so what? That’s your life, you go live it. What I will not tolerate is bullshit. I don’t like bullshit, I don’t like to be bullshitted, I don’t dole out bullshit. I do not tolerate assholes. I do not tolerate mean people. I do not tolerate people telling me how to live my life and forcing their preferences and choices upon me (don’t you be calling yourself “pro-choice” then spend time working to deny me of my ability to choose merely because you don’t agree with my choices).  I will not tolerate ill-behaved children. I will not tolerate chicken being served for dinner all the time.

There are things I tolerate, there are things I do not. I will not represent myself as tolerant unless I truly am. I will not represent myself as open-minded unless I truly am. If I have a log in my eye and fail to see and remove it, I hope someone will point it out to me so I can remove it and see (myself) more clearly.

From the road – deer

To bring Sasha home we had to drive 2000+ miles to Georgia and back. Spending about 37 hours on the road, we saw many interesting things.

Deer.

Tons of deer.

The rut is starting. That means deer are going to act stupid.

Lots of deer on the side of the road. We’d sometimes see singles, sometimes see multiples. And yes… it made us nervous. Driving at night, can’t see deer until it’s too late. We did not want to hit a deer and have that derail our travel. It was nerve-wracking.

But oh…. there were some awesome bucks. Big body, big racks. Oh man oh man.

 

Getting to know Sasha

Now that Sasha’s been at the house a few days, there’s been a lot of learning.

I mean, a LOT.

And mostly, it’s us learning, not her. 🙂

It IS exactly like having a child. Well not exactly. Dogs can come with instruction manuals, kids don’t.

I’m wondering what sort of baggage Sasha has. Been talking things over with a friend of mine and I’m coming to the conclusion that something from her previous owner wasn’t right. I don’t know. Did they neglect her? Did they not give her the attention, socialization, and training that a Kuvasz needs (especially as a puppy)? I mean, I know for a fact when she went back to the breeder that her coat was not where it should be, and we need to continue the rebuilding of it. So that’s an indicator of something not right, that the original owner didn’t do (some) things right. But to what extent? just what specifically? No way to know.

Bottom line: girl has baggage.

*sigh*

But she’s not a lost cause. I mean, that our family has been accepted? That’s a good sign. There’s no question from how she behaves that she loves us and adores us and knows we’re her flock to protect. I know that we have “alpha” over her since I can fully manipulate her, we can brush her, I stuck my fingers in her mouth today to remove a rock she picked up (wasn’t going to struggle with “drop” commands, just had to remove it) and I didn’t get bit. I exert alpha when she needs it, and she submits. So I suspect we’ll be able to make this work, but it’s going to take time.

She knows commands like sit, stay, down, come, drop it, leave it, and a few other things. But she isn’t perfect in obeying. Why? I’m not sure. Sometimes I suspect she’s intentionally disobeying because she’s decided working is more important (e.g. she’s guarding the kids and my telling her to “come” would require her to leave her tactically superior position, and she’s decided she can’t do that for whatever reason). Sometimes I think she’s trying to find our boundaries. And sometimes I think she’s just not conditioned to say “how high?” when I say “jump”, each time, every time, all the time. So, I’m starting to work with her on all the basic commands…  let’s go back to remedial work and establish the ground rules. I’m seeing progress, because she’s responding to “come” and “sit” much better this evening than she did before. We’re up to 10 seconds on stay and I betcha I could do more, but baby steps at this point. When I took her outside today, I’d have her got potty then start to work on “loose leash” walking. That’s going to take more work.

Just have to work on it every day. Just have to schedule in time for work and practice every day, at least twice a day.

But apart from all this work and baggage? She’s a sweet girl. Very loving, and has shown a silly, clown side too. I do adore her. I have no regrets (yet?) about this. It’s a lot of work, and it’s likely going to be more work than normal because we’re going to have things to undo and/or reestablish. But you know… the things you do for love. 🙂

From the road – bathrooms

To bring Sasha home we had to drive 2000+ miles to Georgia and back. Spending about 37 hours on the road, we saw many interesting things.

Typically when we have to take the kids into a public restroom, it’s just a typical bathroom.

But when you’re on the road, I guess people have a penchant for getting laid while travelling. Almost every bathroom (men and women) had condom machines… typically right above the urinal. Youngest was too short to really see, but no question that Oldest got an eyeful while he stood in the stall.

And then, there’s bathroom graffiti.

Oldest hasn’t said a word to me one way or the other, but I’m sure all sorts of questions (too embarrassing to ask Dad) are now rolling through his head. 🙂

From the road – foodstuff buildings

To bring Sasha home we had to drive 2000+ miles to Georgia and back. Spending about 37 hours on the road, we saw many interesting things.

In our drive across the southern Unitied States, if it wasn’t a chain like Dunkin Donuts, then it was always a “palace” that sold donuts. I lost count of how many “Donut Palace” stores we saw, and as far as I could tell they were all locally owned and 100% independent (at least, judging by the storefront and signs).

What makes a palace go with a donut? Why not a Donut Hut? Cruller Castle?

Welcome home, Sasha

Permit me to introduce you to Sasha:

Sasha is an 8 month old Kuvasz puppy. From AKC’s entry:

 

Bold, courageous and fearless, the Kuvasz is an unparalleled livestock guard, able to act at just the right moment without instruction and cover rough terrain for long periods of time. One of the larger working breeds, he is well-muscled and agile. His double coat features a coarse guard hair that protects a soft, fine undercoat. The hair ranges from straight to quite wavy, but must always be white.

[…]

 

Temperament

A spirited dog of keen intelligence, determination, courage and curiosity. Very sensitive to praise and blame. Primarily a one-family dog. Devoted, gentle and patient without being overly demonstrative. Always ready to protect loved ones even to the point of self-sacrifice. Extremely strong instinct to protect children. Polite to accepted strangers, but rather suspicious and very discriminating in making new friends. Unexcelled guard, possessing ability to act on his own initiative at just the right moment without instruction. Bold, courageous and fearless. Untiring ability to work and cover rough terrain for long periods of time. Has good scent and has been used to hunt game.

 

 

And… she’s the latest member of our household. 🙂

She’s 65 lbs and growing. She’s a big dog. She’s just what we wanted.

Background

Wife might be a cat person, but she grew up surrounded by dogs. Me, I had some dogs as a kid but I wouldn’t say I was ever a dog person — without a doubt, I’m a cat person. I have not wanted a dog. Wife has wanted us to get a dog since the day we got married, but I’ve always said no. A few years ago I finally gave in and approved getting a dog, but it had to be a useful dog.

You see, I don’t care for most dogs, or to be honest, most dog owners. I don’t like dogs that aren’t well-behaved, and that’s typically the fault of the dog owner. If I’m going to have a dog, it’s going to be well-behaved. I also don’t like drool, “dog smell” (be it the dog or the house smelling like dog), or a dog that views every random stranger as a friend. Thus, just going to the pound was not an option: any old random dog wasn’t going to work. Plus we had to get a puppy because we have cats and don’t need them to become a snack. Furthermore, the dog has to be substantial, because if you can drop kick it, it’s not a dog. 😉   So I gave Wife my criteria and she set about researching breeds.

Oh, one key criterion? Protection and guarding. People say any dog can provide this, but I’ve experienced far too many dogs that are rather useless in this situation. I want a dog that truly groks the notion of protection and guarding.

Wife spent about the past 3 years researching. It’d be a combination of her researching, finding something, floating the idea by me, I’d critique, then we’d get sidetracked by something in life and couldn’t act on it. But I think that all worked out well because if we acted on some of the breeds we considered in the past, I think we’d be unhappy.

Choosing the Kuvasz

A few weeks ago I was looking at the Crazy K Farm’s website (due to muscovy duck information) and found their link to a website about livestock guardian dogs. That sounded good to me, the sort of dog we’d like. I told Wife about the website and she read up on them (some for the second time). The Kuvasz breed seemed to fit exactly what we wanted, so Wife presented the breed to me and I agreed it sounded just right. So we started contacting breeders — it’s not a common breed, so there are only so many breeders. The first breeders we contacted were going to have litters but it wouldn’t be for 18 months. That didn’t thrill us, but we kept looking around and eventually found a breeder with a unique situation!

A puppy had been adopted by a family, but that puppy wasn’t working out with that family. The family already had an elderly dog and the Kuvasz pup was strong-willed and dominating the elderly one… that wasn’t a workable solution for them, so the Kuvasz puppy was returned to the breeder at about 6 months of age. So the breeder was looking for a good home for the girl. We spoke with the breeder at length about this particular puppy and she seemed to be exactly what we wanted. The breed itself has the temperament and characteristics we want, and this particular girl seemed to have all that we wanted. Plus that she was 8 months old gave a few advantages, like she’s already housetrained, crate trained, and hey… she’s big! She’s already a formidable force. But she’s still very much a puppy.

This, of course, is Sasha.

By the way, we didn’t name her. Sasha is the name given to her by her first owners, but we’re keeping it. She responds to the name, and gosh if it doesn’t just fit her well.

Bringing Sasha Home

So, opportunity presented itself. We did NOT plan on this. I had just come back from California and now had to turn around and drive to Georgia to get a dog.

Yes.

We drove.

2000 mile round trip. 18 hours straight there, 19 hours back (pit stops lasted a little longer on the way home). We drove out, met with her and the breeder for a few hours in the evening. Stayed at a hotel that night, then went back the next morning for another meeting, paperwork, and driving home. So, a lot of driving in a little time.

But it’s been so worth it.

At first, she was in guard mode. She didn’t know us, so she properly kicked in as we expected her too. But after a little time she warmed up to us, but was still wary. While the drive home was long, I think that helped her accept us. She was well-behaved the entire drive back. We would talk to her, pet her through the bars of the crate, and just lavish as much love on her as we could. I am working to establish myself as Alpha, and so far that seems to be setting in. Good thing too, as she’s wicked strong.

We let her trot around the house, on a leash, to explore and get to know her new home. After about an hour we introduced the cats. They aren’t sure what to make of her, other than it’s a big thing with teeth. But they do seem curious of her, just well… understandably on edge. 🙂  Sasha tho, she just wants to play with them. One of the cats got cornered and got very defensive, and Sasha took that as an offer to play. Cat wanted nothing to do with it, but seeing Sasha act as she did I take as a good sign.

As of now? I think she’s accepted us as family. We’ve received kisses. She watches everything we do: when I walked into the kitchen, she kept her eye on me. Movement outside? She was right at the window. I’m sitting on the couch with my MacBook Pro in my lap to type this, and Sasha is resting on the floor at my feet.

I think she likes us. 🙂

She’s receptive to our commands. She has a huge tail wag when she sees “Momma” (Wife). We’re able to hug her, pet her tummy. I also think she’s got a special protection mode going for the kids: when they move about she watches them, and when they come back to her she expects a little hand sniff to say “OK, we’re all fine”. It’s all very good. Even the cats are starting to mellow out in the same room (tho at a safe distance).

I know some people will look at us as crazy for going about things as we did. Picking a particular breed and settling for nothing less than our criteria. Using a breeder (tho this wasn’t like typical breeder purchase… it’s more like a rescue). Driving 2000 miles in 54 hours. But you know what?

You do crazy things when you’re in love. 🙂

Yes… I admit. I’m in love. Maybe I wasn’t a dog person, but Sasha… she’s changed me.

Now, we need to go to PetSmart. Got a few supplies to pick up.

KrimeLabb – city-wide crime data for Austin

Man…. terrible name, but a nifty service. KrimeLabb, a database of crimes in Austin. You can look up by zipcode, address. See the list of offenses, map them out. It’s pretty cool.

It’s also a good lesson to people who think “it can’t happen to me… not in my neighborhood”. Oh yes… crime is happening all around you.

Wither, the ability to think

Shopping at Target.

Total comes to $15.66.

Only bills I have are $20’s, but I do have a pocket full of change that I’d like to get rid of. If I can eliminate some change and get 1 $5 back instead of 4 $1’s and more change, I’d like to do that.

I hand the $20 to the young lady working the register and say “Hang on, I think I’ve got the 66¢”, but she already keyed $20.00 into the register and pressed Enter. Drawer pops open but I managed to get her to wait a moment while I counted out change from my pocket.

Alas, I had 2 quarters, 1 penny, and a couple of dimes, but no nickels… so I can’t make 66¢, but I can make 71¢.

“Well, I don’t have 66¢ but I do have 71¢” I tell the girl as I hand her the change.

She stares at me with a vacant look, unsure of what she’s supposed to do.

I sigh.

“I tell her, just give me back a $5 bill and a nickel.”

You can see she’s trying to wake up the hamster that powers her brain, but I can tell even if the hamster woke up it wouldn’t know how to run on the wheel.

“Just give me a 5 and a nickel.”

blank stare.

“A 5 and a nickel”.

She struggles to comprehend… I think it clicked that math is now involved. Math that the computer didn’t do for her, and she apparently cannot do in her head on her own.

“A 5 and a nickel.”

I can tell she gives up on trying to figure it out for herself and reluctantly trusts my math is correct. She proceeds to hand me 5 $1 bills and a nickel and says, “Sir, we’re not allowed to do this.” (implying “OK, I’ll do this just this once, but there’s company policy against us doing things like this.”  i.e. some weak attempt to save face).

Not allowed to do what? Make change?

Do math?

Think?

*sigh*

If you want to do this, turn to page 24.

Remember “Choose Your Own Adventure” books?

It’s great that real life can be that way too. Life can be an adventure, if you view life as a journey. Sure we’ve got destinations in mind, things we’d like to see and do along the way. But I’ve enjoyed life more since I gave up only viewing life as a destination (e.g. “Where do I want to be when I turn 30 or 40 or 50?). In fact, often some of the best times I have in life is when I just stop worrying about it, dive in, and enjoy the journey for whatever it is. Just ask Wife… even if we’re driving and get lost, we never sweat it… we view it as an opportunity to see somewhere we haven’t before, so while we work to right ourselves towards our destination, we still take in the journey that we’re on.

Why ramble as such?

Well… two things are presently rolling through my head, that will change the course of my journey.

The first is simple. While I’ve been wanting to look into practicing Aikido, I drove by a boxing gym the other day. I got a taste of western boxing while I attended Warrior’s Edge, and I liked it. I find when I’m deciding what I want to do at home for a workout, often I gravitate towards doning the boxing gloves and shadow boxing and working out on the heavy bag. So… a spark has reignited. Will I take the Aikido path, or the boxing path? We’ll see. Thinking it all over.

The second? Well… can’t talk about it right now. But if it happens (and hopefully it will), it’ll change things for the whole family. 🙂

Anywhere is possible

“I saw him, and I heard the gun shots. My first thought was, ‘God, this is not real, not on our campus, not here,’” sophomore Tanisha Bush said.

Source

Yes. It can happen there, on your campus. It can happen anywhere. Evil knows no bounds.