What really bothers me is when outrage is driven by ignorance.
The mode of today: get angry first, get information and facts… maybe later.
Life
Discipline, not motivation
If you follow my blog, you probably noticed I go to the gym and lift weights on a regular basis. I’ve been doing that for the past 5.5 years. Some people marvel at the fact I do this, on a regular basis, for so long (5 years isn’t long, but when the New Years gym joke is everyone signs up in January and by Valentine’s Day the gym is empty again, 5 years is an eternity). Sometimes I wonder about this “long regularity” as well, because I’ve lifted weights on and off since I was a teenager, but it never “took” as strongly as it has this time around.
An old friend recently asked me how I motivate myself to exercise.
I said I don’t motivate myself. It’s discipline.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m no model of (self-)discipline, and I know there’s much I need to improve about myself in this area. But to me, this is what it is. I don’t need gym memes and coffee to drag myself to the gym, whining and hating it all the way. Yes, there are days when I don’t want to go, when I have to force myself to drag-ass to the gym and do it anyways. But I do it, because that’s what you do. Why?
Because I want results.
I started lifting weights as a teenager, because I hated being the skinny weakling geek (and, you know, chicks did big pecs and biceps, right?). I enjoyed lifting, I enjoyed devouring every bit of information I could find, which generally meant asking the school bus driver to drop me off at the 7-11 instead of the proper bus stop near my home, so I could get this month’s edition of Muscle & Fitness or Flex off the newsstand. I worshiped at the altar of Joe Weider, and made my workouts like I read in the magazines. And while that was OK, I never really got where I wanted to go. Eventually things would wane. Looking back now, I can see it would wane because I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of it, then other things would take my interest.
As I got older, married, kids, and took a desk job, I felt my body going to crap. Time to exercise. I tried all manner of things, and even found myself gravitating back to lifting a few times. But again, the lifting didn’t stick because ultimately I wasn’t getting out of it what I was wanting to get out of it.
But almost 6 years ago I found myself in the same “need to exercise” boat and did something different: I joined a local gym figuring access to all that equipment might “motivate” me in a new way. I started out doing the same old things I knew from my teenage education, then I got sick (flu). But I was also bitten by the lifting bug again, but this time I had The Internet! I started to search for all I could, and in the end learned about things like Jim Wendler’s 5/3/1 and Mark Rippetoe’s Starting Strength. Life wouldn’t be the same.
What changed?
I got results.
I saw my body improving. I saw my strength increasing.
Every time I went to the gym, I saw things getting better. I was finally getting out of it what I was wanting to get out of it.
Progress might have been slow, but you come to accept this particular game is a slow game, a long-term game, a “it takes years” game. But what helps? You see progress on a micro-level. That you see this week you got one more rep than last week. That this session you added 5# to the bar. It may be small progress, but it’s progress! Or when I spent 16 months and dropped 66 lbs of flab – 2# lost this week, another 1# the week after, 1.5# that week, and over time it added up. And every step you take, it gets you closer to your goal. Every so often when you think you haven’t come far, stop and look back and see how much distance there is between here and the starting line. You should smile. 🙂
When you see those past results, you start to grow faith for future results. I saw how my squat increased 10# every 4 weeks, so I knew if I squatted right for the next 4 weeks it’d go up another 10#, and if I kept it up for a year I could go up 100#. Or when I was defattening, that if I kept my calorie restriction going, I’d lose another 2# this week and could be 100# down in a year (so just put up with being hungry). Of course it’s not as simple nor linear as that, but the point is knowing that if you are doing the work – and doing smart work (I give much credit to Jim Wendler here) – and seeing the desired progress – that if you continue doing the work, you will continue to see the desired progress. That in time, you will achieve your goals.
Sometimes the work isn’t fun. There are exercises I hate doing, like lunges and split-legged sqauts, but I have found my knees are happier because I do them, so I keep doing them (hating every set and rep). The work sucks, but the results outweigh.
And so, it’s the results – the desire, the quest for results – that “motivate” me.
But again, it’s not really motivation. It’s the discipline. That if I want to achieve my goals, I have to keep working. It’s the consistent work over time that will allow me to achieve. So if I want to achieve, I have to go to the gym. And if I go to the gym, I will take another step closer to my desired results.
This works for me, because I like achieving goals. I like having larger goals, and then milestones and “smaller goals” along the way. That helps keep me going, when I can tangibly see the progress: big results, and mini-results. Not everyone is goal-oriented, but I do think we all like to see results.
And so, I guess that’s what enables me to keep drag-assing myself to the gym. I know what I want, so I have to put in the work to get it. I do love to lift, but I often hate the work I have to do. But, I do the work, because I know the payoff is really what i’m after. And when I achieve that, it’ll be awesome.
Justified vs. Helping
Of course your behavior is justifiable.
That’s not the question.
The question is, “is it helping?”
It’s easy to justify our mood or our actions based on how we’ve been treated by the outside world. Justification isn’t the goal, though. It’s effectiveness that matters.
We get to pick how we act, and it seems as though choosing what works, choosing what makes us happy, choosing what makes the world the place we want to make it–these choices are more useful than any justification we can dream up.
Look around. You probably see a lot of this going on these days. Doesn’t matter the realm or context. I straddle different contexts in life and see this in all of them. Hell, just scroll through your social media feeds, watch the news. Everyone wants to be justified. Everyone believes their cause is Right and Just. Then everyone pushes their agenda based upon their justification. Many times the end result makes the situation worse, because it was more about being right than actually helping.
It’s a good point for self-reflection. Are you wanting to be right? Or are you wanting to help? Will your actions just make you feel justified? Or will it actually help make things better? You have to be brutally honest, and really step back and look at the facts. Because it’s easy to say “of course it’s helping! of course it will make things better!”. But often we’re just blinded by our cause, by our justifications. To ultimately be “right” we may have to first admit we were wrong, then we can fix ourselves and continue to strive to be right, and to actually help.
It’s perhaps also a good filter for things you see and potentially engage with. Is this person, is this group, is this company, is this cause just wanting to be right? Or is it actually helping?
And in doing so, remember your empathy.
I write this not to preach to you, but to give myself something to step back and think about. But I do share it in hopes it might give others something to think about as well.
Trying to improve my sleep
Lately I’ve been struggling to sleep well.
Why exactly? I’m not sure. Could be getting older. Could be life stress. Could be something I ate. It’s probably a little of each, but whatever the reason the result is the same – I’m not sleeping very well.
However, the past few weeks I’ve seen a measurable improvement.
Naps
Napping doesn’t actually help my sleeping, but it does help my recovery. I’ve found when I get in a nap, even a 20 minute nap mid-day, ultimately I wind up sleeping better because I have a better (less cranky) attitude towards getting enough sleep (or rather, when I don’t get enough). Naps are good.
Not waking until it’s time to get up
This is a big one.
Many years ago I used to wake up with the sunrise, or rather, I woke up when I woke up. This was great and I was always rested. Then a few years ago I had to adopt a different schedule, an alarm clock was necessary. And while I don’t strictly need the alarm clock any more, I still keep it because it’s been a rhythm, especially because it keeps me going to the gym in the mornings. I find that works best for me.
And while I’m an extremely early riser, it still sucks to wake up too early. You’ve done this. You don’t need to wake up until 5 AM, but you wake up and it’s 2 AM and you can’t get back to sleep. Or worse, it’s 11:30 PM — which is extra annoying because it’s not even the next day yet! This has been the big problem plaguing me the past many months, waking up too early. Over time that means less and less sleep every night.
A few weeks ago I made a change.
I told myself “Look, you set the alarm for 4:00 AM – if the alarm hasn’t gone off, it’s not yet 4 AM, so go back to sleep”. Don’t get up, don’t look at the clock, don’t anything but just continue to lie in bed. Even if you’re awake, still lie there and rest. The alarm will go off when it’s time, and THEN you can get up and on with it.
This has made a HUGE difference. I still find myself having some sort of waking-up before the alarm goes off, but now I don’t bother with it. Recently it’s become more of like a half-sleep: I’m somewhat aware that I’ve woken up, that the alarm hasn’t yet gone off, but for sure I’m not wide awake. I have dreams, I am aware and remember them, and when the alarm goes off, THEN I get up.
For sure this has helped on two levels. First, I’m just getting more rest/sleep. Second, I’m not caring that it’s early and getting frustrated and upset about having yet another night of less sleep.
Sleep Cycle alarm clock
I saw some people talking about this app, Sleep Cycle. I talked with them about it, and thought I’d give it a try.
I’ve only been using it about a week.
Honestly, I can’t tell if it’s really monitoring my sleep, if it’s really making a proper qualitative measure of my sleep quality.
But what I do know it’s doing? It’s tracking my sleep – at least when I go to bed, and when I wake up. Looking back on the past week, that level of tracking has made me care about my hours a bit more AND be more aware of my hours.
For example, I might get in bed by 8-ish, but not really get to sleep until 9 (reading or whatever). That adds up – or rather subtracts – a substantial portion of rest. Over time, the cumulative effects are not good.
So being able to fully track this and see how much sleep I’m (not) getting at night has been a big help. The past few days I’ve found myself making more of a concerted effort to get to bed AND to sleep sooner. Couple that with waiting for the alarm clock, and the past couple nights have been some of the best nights I’ve had in a long time.
In fact, last night apparently there were huge thunderstorms, woke everyone in the house up, but I had no idea. I’m the only one that woke up refreshed. 🙂
I’ll take that.
So anyways, it’s still early. I have no idea if this Sleep Cycle app will help, but so far it seems useful (and I love all the data and graphs) so I’ll keep at it for now. And I certainly will keep with staying “asleep” until the alarm goes off. Throw in a little nap every now and again, and I hope to be back on track soon.
Stop thinking about doing the thing, just do the thing
We never do anything well until we cease to think about the manner of
doing it.– Hazlitt
That came through the Maku mozo! list a few days ago.
Ever notice how that happens in life? Doesn’t really matter the context, but when you are focused so much on doing the thing that you just can’t do the thing that well? But when you just turn off your brain (so to speak), stop thinking about doing the thing, and just do the thing, that things run really well?
Funny how that is.
Of course, we can’t really turn off our brains. And we don’t just know how to do things. We have to have put in a lot of work, study, practice, failure, effort, time, money, etc. to get to a point of proficiency. And sometimes you have to think about what you’re doing, because that’s precisely part of the work, study, practice, etc. so you can reach that point of “just doing”.
But don’t be afraid of reaching that point. It’s tough – you do have to make a bit of a leap of faith, you do have to trust more than you had before.
But when everything just comes together and you can just perform, it’s such a sweet moment.
Peace… and bullies
I honestly do support peace, communication and compromise.
But I do so not from a position of virtue singling or that these ideas are morally superior. It’s because I truly understand how much violence and hatred suck. I’m talking screaming, blood spatter and bodies ‘suck.’
Unfortunately, we have two contributing problems to the third. One is that ‘peace’ has become a not just a moral issue, but a moral superiority one. “I’m better than you because I believe in peace.’ Two is that this position has expanded into cowardice and inaction. That is someone who uses the excuse of “I believe in peace” so they don’t have to step up or confront something that is spinning out into extremes and heading towards violence.
The third problem is bullies. See in a peaceful, non violent world, the bully is king. He can be as pushy, demanding, vicious and violent as he wants and nobody can stop him. Or to be more precise, nobody will stop him. It’s a win for the violent bully.
That’s what happens when people think that peace is a morally superior position. First, they forget that the negotiating table is the option that sucks less. Second they’re at a loss when someone realizes the inherent weakness of their unpreparedness and exploits it. Third, they’ve lost sight of negotiation without the ability to back it up is begging. Fourth, way too often they start crossing the lines too. (Different tactics, but very much the same strategy and goals.) That last leads to the fifth problem, which is they see no reason not to become bullies themselves.
That works until the shooting starts.
I’d kind of like to get back to the negotiating table with the understanding that peace is not a virtue, it’s survival. Because the alternative is really really ugly.
– Marc MacYoung
10 Questions that need to (always) be asked
Ken White puts forth 10 questions:
These are all questions that I think ought to be asked whenever we, as a society, decide whether to task and empower the government to do a thing.
[…]
Even if I don’t agree with people’s answers to these questions, getting them to ask the questions and confront the issues reflected in the questions would promote the values that I care about.
- Does the United States Constitution permit the government to do this?
- What would this power look like if it were expanded dramatically in scope or in time?
- What would this obligation look like if exercised indifferently by unaccountable people?
- What would your worst enemy do with this power?
- Does this power make a choice about morals, ethics, or risk that individuals ought to make?
- Does this power represent the government putting its thumb on the scales to prefer some competitors over others, perhaps based on their relative power and influence?
- Does this power set up a conflict between laws and rights?
- Are we giving this power to the right level of government?
- Are we acting out of fear, anger, or self-promotion?
- Is there any evidence the government is any good at this?
I’m only listing the questions here (mostly for my own future reference). You must read the full article to UNDERSTAND the questions he’s presenting.
These questions stand out to me, not only because I also think they are worthwhile to ask, but because I think people don’t consider the ramifications of what they often demand (from government). Because people often want X and find their own ways to justify X as Right™, Good™, and Necessary™. Trouble is, X winds up hurting a lot of other people, and so the anger, resentment, and division we’re currently suffering from grows even worse.
A simpler way to look at it?
Change places with whom X would injure. Is X still Right, Good, Necessary, Fair, Desirable, now that you’re on the short end of the stick?
Again, we don’t have to agree on the answers to these questions, but these are questions worthy of asking any time something is ask/demanded/expected of government. Let these questions drive you to think, to study, to research, to contemplate, to reconsider…
How to make progress
We will make better progress if we start from where we agree and work with open minds and open hearts, than to start from where we disagree and drive the wedge even further.
Urban Decay Vice Lipstick – now available for iPhone
For the past 6+ months I’ve been working on a new iPhone app. Now I can finally talk about it. 🙂
It’s an app for Urban Decay Cosmetics (a division of L’Oreal), to help introduce and promote their new Vice Lipstick line.
You can download the app from the App Store here.
(iPhone only, needs iOS 9 or above, and looks best on larger phones like the iPhone 6, 6s, 6 Plus, or 6s Plus; tho it functions on any iPhone, iPad or iPod Touch that runs iOS 9).
What’s really cool about the app is the virtual “try on” feature, where there’s a live camera that superimposes the lip shades on your lips so you can see what they might look like on you! That particular bit of technology comes from Modiface, who themselves have some apps in the App Store and do some pretty neat facial recognition and morphing stuff. Check them out.
I mention this not only because I’m proud of the work (and learned a lot about the cosmetics industry, which I have a newfound respect for), but I’m hoping to get back to writing more now that I’ve been able to come up for air. You may have noticed (or maybe you haven’t) that my writing has been light the past some months — it’s because of the intensity of this app project. But it’s done, and so I hope to get back to writing more regularly.
3 Tips for Success
The following might be about bodybuilding — but it really isn’t:
About 6 years ago I interviewed John Meadows for an article I was writing. One of the questions was “If you could give some advice to the newer generation of bodybuilders, what would it be?”
Here are his answers:
1. The ever elusive search for the “secret”. Everybody thinks there is a magic pill, or magic protein, or magic workout. Here is the truth. You have to work hard at training and your diet, and above all, you have to be consistent. I never ever miss meals, and I didn’t miss a workout for…well, I can’t remember the last time I said to myself “I am just not gonna go in today.” Not part of mental psyche. If you start making excuses, you are done. You will do it more and more, as it gets easier to just brush things off. I have seen it hundreds of times. Now there are genetic freaks out there, that can get by with less, but I am speaking to the vast majority here. Stay disciplined, and be consistent, and guess what…this whole thing will be more fun too. You know why, because nothing is as fun and motivating as making progress.
2. Second, make it a point to seek out those who know more than you, and learn from them. Do that. Don’t sit there and spin your wheels when there are smart people out there who can help you get better. I have had a mentor or two for the last 19 years. Right now it’s Dr. Serrano, and will probably be for a long time, because he has forgotten more than I will ever know.
3. Lastly, don’t get dogmatic in your views. Don’t be its “my way or the highway” 100% of the time. I have news for you, you don’t know everything. I don’t, Shelby doesn’t, and you don’t. If you fall into that trap, learning will cease, and your progress will slow to a halt as well.
That comes from a Facebook posting by Shelby Starnes
So in short:
- There’s no magic/secret. It’s just hard work, consistent work, disciplined work.
- Seek out those who know more than you and learn from them.
- Don’t be dogmatic
And I’d add to #3, see #2.
This isn’t just about bodybuilding, this is about anything and everything in life that you want to be successful in.
Stuff From Hsoi 