Here’s “something” we all can do (even if you hate guns)

Something bad happens and the cry goes out  to “do something” to prevent bad things from happening again.

Here’s something we can do (and it doesn’t involve guns).

Massad Ayoob made a very good point:

We don’t hear of mass deaths of children in school fires these days: fire drills have long since been commonplace, led by trained school staff, not to mention sprinkler systems and smoke alarms and strategically placed fire extinguishers that can nip a blaze in the bud while firefighters are en route.  In the past, if someone “dropped dead,” people would cry and wring their hands and wail, “When will the ambulance get here?” Today, almost every responsible adult knows CPR; most schools have easily-operated Automatic Electronic Defibrillators readily accessible; and a heart attack victim’s chance of surviving until the paramedics arrive to take over is now far greater.

Seat belts. It seems so common-place now to get into the car and buckle up, right? It’s just what you do, feels foreign and naked to not do it. It’s just what you do, right? Well, it wasn’t that way until recently. Mandatory seat-belt laws only started in the US in the mid-1980’s, which isn’t too long ago. But we cannot deny these safety tools save lives. But the mantra of “buckle-up” and reams of data show that seat belt use saves lives.

So consider these three cases, because they all have something in common: inevitable, inescapable. Fires happen. Heart attacks happen. Car accidents happen. We can’t use laws to eliminate them. We can’t pray them away. We can’t ban matches or cholesterol or physics and expect the problems to disappear. But what we HAVE done with these things is accept they can happen, they do happen, they will happen. So what we’ve done is prepare ourselves to handle their eventuality.

We must take this same acceptance of reality with active shooter or mass murder situations.

Yeah I know… that feels horrible and ugly to accept and some will refuse to accept it, as if accepting equates to condoning (it doesn’t). Life and the world can be ugly, folks, and denying the ugly doesn’t make it not so — it only puts you in a state of denial.

For a moment, consider that in the past 30 years, we really haven’t had any change in the rates of mass shootings. If anything has changed, it’s news coverage and instant media. In Mas’ above article, he mentions a school massacre from almost 250 years ago. Consider archeological evidence of Neanderthal violence over 36,000 years ago. Folks, violence is around, always has been, always will be… and yes, it always will be because violence is actually necessary for society to work (for laws to exist, to be able to be enforced; the proxy nature of police… the people you grant and delegate the authority to do violence on your behalf). You may not want to like violence, but that doesn’t make violence not exist, nor does it mean you won’t become victim to it.

So once we can accept violence happens, the next step we can take is how to survive it.

Here are two articles with some excellent advice.

The first is from Greg Ellifritz, “A Parent’s Guide to School Shootings“. Greg speaks from experience and deep study on the topic, and provides excellent and tangible advice for parents, school administrators, and students on how to be more aware, take better pro-active and better re-active steps in the context of school shootings (or any sort of mass murder event). But ultimately, his suggestions are only useful if people enact his suggestions. It requires parents to be engaged and yes, hard on the school administration. They must ask the tough questions, press for answers, press for action. Teachers — the people on the front line — must press up the chain of school administration to empower the teachers and other staff immediately within the school with the resources and support necessary. Parents and even other students can also take their own action to prepare themselves with plans (know escape routes, come up with your own plans to escape, to stay alive). So… you want something to do? Here’s something you can do, and it will affect change now. Read Greg’s article and put his suggestions into action.

The second is from Marc MacYoung, “What Do I Do When Someone IS Shooting at Me?” Marc’s article starts out with a brief discussion on psychology, which is critical for understanding violence and those partaking in it. Yes, if someone is attacking you, you are partaking in the violence and your brain will revert to monkey mode or lizard mode — it’s important to understand these things so you can better control your reactions. Marc then goes into things you can do, by assessing the situation you find yourself in. He also touches on some important matters like, what to do if you actually get shot. While Marc’s suggestions are more personal in nature (i.e. directly related to what YOU can do), consider that after reading his article you’ll have more knowledge about the matter. If you ever find yourself caught in such a situation, instead of freezing and trying to figure out what to do as precious seconds flitter away, now you can know what to do. It’s like CPR: we hope to never have to use the knowledge, but it’s sure handy to have when we find ourselves needing it. So this is something you can do, right now.

If nothing else, watch this 6 minute video called “Run, Hide, Fight”

If you don’t remember anything else, remember those 3 words. Teach your children those 3 words. Sure, a 5-year-old may not be able to fight, but they certainly can understand how to run and hide, and you can even distill Greg and Marc’s more specific takes on “run” and “hide” into a manner that a 5-year-old can understand. Again, we believe that 5-year-olds can learn how to escape in case of fire — the sort of teaching and learning involved here is no different.

If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.

– Gandhi

Yes, we should work to address larger problems. Yes, we should work to address the deeper issues involved. Those things will take time to sort out and enact. Meantime, the world spins on, and violence can still happen. We want to bring change to the world, but getting others to change is difficult. Changing ourselves should be easy. And changing ourselves is really the first step towards enacting greater change throughout the world. Start with yourself. Start by educating yourself about these situations and how you can stay alive. Educate your children. Pass this on to others. This is “something” we can do now.

on rudeness

I need to vent. I normally don’t post other things on Sundays, but I had to get this off my chest.

Today Youngest had his first piano recital. He did just fine, and I’m more proud of him for learning to deal with nervousness and performing under pressure than for the music itself (tho that’s still cool). The music school once again demonstrated they are a fine group of folks that run a good ship and care about their students. My beef isn’t with them.

It’s with the audience.

Or more specifically… the parents.

I was floored at the number of parents that left as soon as their child finished playing. By the time the recital was over, I looked back and saw the room was almost empty. That was sad and terrible. The students performing at the end of the recital deserved just as much respect and audience for their hard work and performance as did YOUR child at the start of the recital.

But no.

You came for your child, and didn’t care about anyone else. Oh sure, I wouldn’t have been there either if my child wasn’t performing, but my child wasn’t the only child performing. You could see on every child’s face, some more than others, how nervous they were. But you didn’t care. You didn’t think how the sight of you getting up and walking out as they started performing would impact the child. You didn’t think that sitting there and texting or Facebooking would matter… when instead showing these nervous children a smiling and supportive face could mean all the world to them. You didn’t think that as you stood in the lobby area, how loud your voices were and how much it disturbed, interrupted, and distracted the performing child.

No… you didn’t care. Your rudeness never occurred to you.

I came so close to jumping out of my seat and storming into the lobby area and scolding these inconsiderate individuals for their behavior. But I didn’t. First, if I did, they wouldn’t accept it; they’d just get defensive and consider me the rude asshole (can’t see past the log in their own eye). Second, if I got up, I knew the child performing would have no idea why I was getting up — I’d just be another adult getting up and leaving. I was not going to do that to any child.

After the recital was over, I expressed my disappointment to one of the school’s owners, and she agreed that it was rude (and said she’s going to change recital policy to say if you come, you stay, else don’t bother signing up at all… and I hope she does, and I hope she enforces it). She told me she asked some of them why they were leaving and they gave excuses like “it’s Christmas… we’re busy”. Busy? You’re too busy for a 2 hour recital? You’re too busy to give something of yourself to others? You’re too busy to be polite and considerate of others? And don’t even give me this “it’s Christmas” line, because the level of selfishness you displayed shows me you know fuck-all about what Christmas is about.

But, there’s always a teachable moment.

Before we left, I took my family aside and spoke with the Kiddos. We talked about what happened, and they agreed it was rude and they felt terrible for the kids performing. Even Youngest commented how he felt a little awkward that as he walked in to start, he saw all these people getting up and leaving. Kiddos also said how wonderful it was for them to have stayed. They saw many great performances, had many smiles and joyful moments, and just saw some really talented people perform. So they got to see something few did — and that was a precious thing. Others could have seen it too, but they chose not to. Maybe they had a legit reason, but they still didn’t have to be rude about it. So at least my Kiddos got to learn and grow in some unexpectedly welcome ways.

But the best part was Youngest… who can’t wait for the Spring recital and perform again. 🙂   Hopefully the parents will be better behaved by then.

 

Instructor – follow up

My prior article on instructors was primarily aimed at those that wished to be instructors and the path to get there. However, in examining the path one might follow on the road to becoming an instructor, it sheds a lot of light for those that wish to be students — how can you pick a good instructor.

While the context might be different — weightlifting/physical training — the principles remain the same. Dave Tate lists 4 ways to tell if your coach has a clue:

  1. Who did they learn from?
  2. Who did they train with and/or under?
  3. What have they done?
  4. Who have they trained and have made better than themselves?

Doesn’t matter the context or the specific type of instructor. These pretty much hold for any instructor be it martial arts, lifting, cooking, painting, whatever.

 

A Product of Yourself

Choice is Your Responsibility

Certain situations may greatly increase the difficulty of the choice, but the choice remains the same. The first thing a person must do is assume all responsibility for everything that has happened or has failed to happen to them. Once you adopt this as your primary philosophy for governing your life, you become empowered to see that you and you alone decide your future through the choices you make. Yes, bad things may happen to you that appear to be beyond your control (developing testicular cancer was one such occurrence for me), and you may not always be able to control those instances, but you can always control how you react to them. You can see them as learning experiences and grow from them to become something bigger and better, or you can use them as excuses that will ultimately hold you back from reaching your true potential and lead you down a path to mediocrity…or worse.

– Matt Kroczaleski

Full article.

Help save Sneeze!

Remember Sneeze? He’s (one of the many) muscovy ducks we’ve rescued, presently residing with his buddy Squirt at the Crazy K Farm. He and many other rescued animals live there, but their situation appears to be in jeopardy.

I received the following letter from Tobi Kosanke:

Crazy K Farm Pet and Poultry Products
December 1st, 2012
Dear John,

The health and safety of the 200+ rescue animals at Crazy K Farm is threatened by the planned building of a dump in Hempstead, Texas, where Crazy K Farm is located.
Your signature on my petition can protect the environment of the Hempstead Texas area and the health of the people and animals who live there!
I’ve started the petition “TX Attorney General, Governor, State Representative: Stop the Highway 6 Landfill in Hempstead Texas” and need your help to get it off the ground.Will you take 30 seconds to sign it right now? Here’s the link:

http://www.change.org/petitions/scjc-governor-state-representative-stop-the-highway-6-landfill-in-hempstead-texas

Here’s why it’s important:

Our local officials are defying their constituents and supporting environmental racism in Waller County, Texas. We need your help to protect the health of our citizens and the economy of our county.
The demographics of Waller County and the economically underserved Hempstead area are ideal for a major corporation to build a controversial landfill: a relatively poor rural population is much less likely to mount and sustain a long and costly legal challenge.
Our local official are supporting this environmental racism and refusing to represent the wishes and best interests of their constituency by supporting the Highway 6 Landfill in the face of overwhelming evidence that it will have tremendous negative health, economic and environmental impacts on the area.
The Highway 6 Landfill is a proposed site in Hempstead-a rural and economically underserved area 45 miles northwest of Houston. The population is roughly 3,000. The land in question is a 723-acre piece of historic property with stagecoach roads and a family cemetery. It has two natural, spring-fed creeks and is the headwaters for Clear Creek, which runs to the Brazos. The water is used for drinking by cities and water districts downstream. It is municipal, agricultural, and used by federally protected wildlife.
The Highway 6 Landfill is unwanted by the residents of Waller County – and it would economically and environmentally destroy an area that’s already struggling for survival.

Thank you for your help.
Sincerely,
Tobi Kosanke
Crazy K Farm Pet and Poultry Products

I’ve signed the petition.

Please join us in keeping Sneeze, Squirt, and the other rescues safe.

Always more than you

We all like to feel better, to feel bigger, to feel superior. It’s human. It’s some way of saying that we have some worth, some merit, and that we’re not at the bottom… that we’re not last… that we don’t suck. We compare ourselves to others, and we like to put ourselves above others.

Stupid tea party morans.

Fucking liberals.

Yeah… “my superiority” was trotted out a lot the past some months, moreso than usual.

Here’s a lesson:

Be humble, there will always be somebody stronger than you.

Steve Fredine

It doesn’t matter that he’s talking about powerlifting. Because there will always be someone bigger, better, faster, stronger, smarter, richer, whatever-er than you, and then that means YOU are the stupid fucking moran.

Hell, there’s much that Steve learned that apply to life (and powerlifting):

  • Less is more
  • Put your life on the line on max effort day
  • Eat and get rest
  • Be open-minded
  • If it works, figure out the why later
  • If it doesn’t work, don’t do it
  • Be patient with the uninformed
  • Be smart, but not anal
  • Don’t make excuses
  • Give back
  • Be focused, but keep a sense of humor
  • Train weaknesses
  • Train for chaos
  • A totally safe exercise is probably useless
  • Be patient
  • Be persistent
  • Be creative
  • Talk is cheap
  • Don’t worry about the other guy
  • Be humble
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff

Who knew iron could teach you so much. But you know… 200 pounds is always 200 pounds.

Be Happier

Going through email this morning, I got sent the following article about 9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier.

Seems a little self-helpy, but there’s some solid things in here. The one that stood out to me?

5. Assume people have good intentions.

Since you can’t read minds, you don’t really know the “why” behind the “what” that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people’s weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.

Recently I’ve been dealing with some difficult people going through some difficult times, and I know if they tried this it would have saved them much grief.

I try to do this, but I can step back and see I don’t try enough. I will work on that about myself. I know it will not only save me a lot of grief, but it helps the relationship too.

Tips for teachers

While the article is titled “Being a Woman is Not a Disability“, and while the article is presented in the context of powerlifting, what the article is really about is teaching.

Teaching boils down to a lot of the same concepts, whether you’re teaching arithmetic, how to bench press, how to shoot a gun, how to bake a cake. And addressing needs of a student rarely comes down to the student’s gender, race, ethnicity, religious preference, sexual orientation, age, etc.. Oh sure, sometimes those things do matter, but all too often teachers/coaches/educators apply the wrong context and thus the wrong solution. For example, many times when teaching beginning shooters, women do get treated differently. But I’ve found issues with new shooters aren’t because of gender, but because of something like smaller/weaker hands. Yes one can make the generalization that women have smaller and weaker hands than men, but I’ve seen some large strong women and some small weak men. It wasn’t their gender that mattered, it was their hand size and strength. Thus what’s important to address is their hand size and strength, not their gender.

Successful teaching does follow the same guidelines regardless of the topic being taught. Amy Wattles’ article does a fine job of presenting these guidelines:

  • The introduction is the most important part of a lesson<
  • After the delivery of your instruction, check for understanding.
  • Next, it is time to demonstrate the skill to be acquired.
  • Provide students with constructive feedback throughout the lesson.

Read her article for full details, including a good list of additional tips for teaching success.

One thing I’ll add? Know your audience.

If you know your audience, you can better shape the presentation of your message. Let’s say you want to teach how to bake a cake. How might your presentation differ if your students were a group of adults vs. a class of kindergarteners vs. veteran chefs? Your material and message would be the same, but how you present that message, how you work to convey your information, that’s going to and should differ from audience to audience. Suppose you didn’t change. Suppose you wrote it all out for a group of veteran chefs and your audience is a group of 5-year-olds? Do you think your presentation is going to succeed? Do you think you’ll successfully convey your message? Unlikely.

Some might say that they don’t know what their audience will be comprised of. If that’s the case, then you still know that fact and should proceed accordingly. But you may also be able to glean at least a little something. For example, when a new class of Basic Pistol 1 students show up at KR Training, we generally don’t know what to expect. We will have people of both gender, wide range of ages, many ethnicities, socio-economic status, background (e.g. maybe they were brought here due to a bad crime victim experience and are very sensitive)… it’s all over the map. We really can’t know much and thus have to be reserved in our presentation. But we can know they are all here to learn how to shoot a gun, and most are coming because of an interest in personal defense, so we can play off that tidbit of audience awareness.

Teaching is rewarding, even more so when you’re successful at it. Knowing how to teach helps you succeed.