There’s been a video going around about “the bullying experiment”.
The premise of the video is a couple guys act out a bullying scenario in front of random people, filming on hidden camera. They want to catch how people react, which ranges from ignoring it to walking away to getting involved.
I agree this is an interesting social experiment.
I agree it seems sad and terrible that people will not get involved to help someone that appears to be in danger.
I agree that bullying is a problem, but it’s not just a problem of this generation because bullying has been around forever — it’s nothing new. Still, that doesn’t make it right.
But I have to take issue with the video and the suggested advice.
What they are wanting is for people to intervene. I’m not sure that’s wise. All you are seeing is a slice of the greater picture, and is that slice enough to know what’s really going on? As I’ve discussed before, you cannot always know what the whole story is based upon the small slice you see.
It appears they are performing this experiment on a college campus. It’s a fairly homogeneous group of people, in a fairly contrived and “safe” environment. What if they tried this in other areas of town? like on the rich side of town? poor side of town? downtown? in the city’s violence hotspots? That might bring about some interesting different responses… one of which could end badly for the actors.
And that’s part of why people don’t want to get involved. They have their own lives to preserve. It goes back to things like “beer & tv time” and asking “is this worth dying for?” because your getting involved may well bring you unwanted harm.
It could also be that people don’t know what to do, how to react. They’ve never experienced this before so they freeze because that’s all they can do as they try to process what’s unfolding before them. Or perhaps they were raised to just always avoid trouble, so they flee. Shall we persecute them for their self-preservation?
So, I think it’s a bit naive for the video producers to suggest the solution to bullying is for people to get involved. Yes I understand their motive, and I do think that being silent about bullying is a way to allow it to perpetuate. Just realize that “fighting” bullying doesn’t necessarily have to involve physical intervention, and not everyone is willing to physically intervene.
But that’s also where I have a greater issue with this campaign.
It seems the suggestion is the solution is for you to get involved.
That bullying perpetuates because of your fault. That this is someone else’s fault, and it’s someone else’s responsibility to stop it.
What happened to teaching people to stand up for themselves? It used to be the way you handled a bully wasn’t to have someone else fight your battles, but for you to stand on your own two feet and stand up to the bully. And yes, that might mean you have to take them down a peg. Modern anti-bullying solutions seem to revolve around others making changes, with little focus on you improving yourself and your own condition.
If as the video producers say “change starts with the people”, the first person you can change is yourself. Start there.
Stuff From Hsoi 
I agree one needs to act wisely before stepping in and interfering with a confrontation but given that this was happening on a college campus and the guy was yelling, “why dont you have my paper” I think their point is very valid. Bullying on a campus is a lot different than someone being attacked downtown or in an alley.
I guess it is like with all things, you must access your surroundings. People need to spend work on their observation skills and less time on their electronic devices.
I am going to show my kids this video and talk to them about stepping in when someone is being bullied. We already talk about it and they know they had better never ever do it but they also need to be aware to watch out for others and step in and help!
The point is valid, but that doesn’t make it potentially less dangerous and one that you should say “oh, we’re in the illusory safety of a college campus, we can jump in”. Because let’s face it… people (anywhere, not just 18-21 year old college students) can be irrational and unpredictable. People can and will hurt you in extreme ways for no good reason. YOU may not consider it rational and valid behavior and may not be able to fathom such things, but believe me… there’s ugly shit out there with fucked up people who have no qualms about doing fucked up things to you for reasons you could never justify. It may be “just a paper”, but I still don’t know the whole story…. and is it really worth me getting involved or? All I can say is, that’s a personal question that everyone must answer for themselves and their circumstances. We’re all different. Like for me, if I was young and single, I’d probably have a different response than I do today (old, married, kids)… different circumstances.
Still, I think it’s great for you to use this as a teaching tool for your kids. It’s important to stand up for yourself, and it is important to stand up for others. I’m not saying we shouldn’t get involved… I’m not saying we shouldn’t help people in need. I’m just saying that the video producers are a bit naive to some realities of the world (good message, good intentions, just naive), and that I cannot agree that the solution is for someone else to step up. I think we’d do better to teach people to stand up for themselves, to take responsibility for themselves, instead of expecting others to do it.