There’s a video that’s been going around lately where some small skinny kid is picking on some larger kid. The small kid gets in some punches to the big kid, and eventually the big kid has enough, grabs the small kid and slams the bully to the ground. Backstory is that the big kid has been bullied for quite some time.

Here’s a story telling what’s happened since then.

My personal feeling was the bully got what he asked for. I also bet the victim won’t be picked on any more now that people (everyone around the world, in fact) know he’s willing and able to stand up for himself.

What bothers me more is some typical reactions:

 

“We don’t believe that violence is ever the answer,” Mr. [John Dalgleish, head of research at Kids Helpline and Boys Town] says. “We believe there are other ways that children can manage this.”

[…]

 

[An older girl] physically stops a friend of the younger boy from going after the older boy, telling him to “back off”.

“The longer term way is about developing better relationships between kids in the school, that will then empower young people to not be passive bystanders when these acts occur but to stand up and say ‘this is wrong’,” Mr Dalgleish says.

[…]

St Marys Police duty officer Inspector Jason Green said posting the video had the effect of glorifying violence in schools.

 

 

Violence is never the answer. I used to believe this myself. The trouble with this belief is it takes our value system and imposes it upon someone else, someone who does believe violence is the answer or violence is the first resort. When someone is punching you, what are you supposed to do? Politely request them to stop punching you? It doesn’t work out very well. Walk away? They’ll follow you and keep punching you. Hope and pray for someone else to step in? If someone finally does step in, what happens when that person is no longer around to protect you? I do believe one needs to try to resolve situations in the best manner possible (e.g. maximize enjoyment of beer & tv), that we should work for non-violent dispute resolution, that we take steps to avoid such a situation in the first place. But when you are dealing with a predator that won’t back off, sometimes bearing teeth in return is the only response they will understand.

To deny violence’s place, to deny realities of violence, is a cover-up and a lie. When we don’t talk honestly and realistically about things, we do a disservice to all involved, including greater society. Jack Donovan wrote a great essay titled “Violence is Golden”. Give it a read.