How to get hit by a car when walking down the street

/ hsoi

If you’ve ever wondered how to get hit by a car when walking down the street, here’s some helpful tips:

  • Walk at night. Harder for cars to see you, tho you could see them due to their lights.
  • Wear dark clothing. Harder for the cars to see you than if you wore light/white or even reflective clothing.
  • Wear headphones with the music cranked up loud. Why should you listen for the sound of oncoming cars when Justin Bieber could be serenading you instead.
  • Walk with the flow of traffic (in the USA, on the right-side of the road). If you walked facing traffic (left-side of the road), you’d be able to see oncoming cars and be able to move out of the way, and that’d be you know… like useful or some junk.
  • Walk in the street, because cars are pesky things… if a couple of tons of steel come at you at a high rate of speed, physics be damned because you can just sue (if you survive).
  • A sense that everyone else has to look out for you. Because taking responsibility for yourself is so uncool.

No, I didn’t hit anyone, but I had to run to the store late last night and nearly hit someone on a dark poorly-lit stretch of road because they were wearing almost black clothing, had large headphones (muff type, not earbuds) over their ears, walking on the right side of the road and on the road itself, and worst of all not facing traffic. A complete lack of awareness, and just a recipe for disaster.

It’s rare today to at least see people walking down the road facing traffic. When did we stop teaching this? And can we start again, please?

5 thoughts on “How to get hit by a car when walking down the street”

    • Wife and I were talking about this and we just don’t know when it changed… when did schools and/or parents stop teaching this?

      I will not go as so far to say it’s “common sense” to do this, because it’s not. It is a learned behavior. But why we stopped teaching it is a mystery to me. But it also seems to go hand-in-hand with people just walking out in front of cars at crosswalks, in parking lots, etc.. Folks, maybe you do have the legal right-of-way, but it’s still in your best interest to stop and look and verify all-clear before proceeding because if that couple-ton truck opts to not stop well… maybe you can sue, if you survive. Physics will always win.

      • OBviously you’ve never been to Massachusetts, of COURSE traffic will stop in time….(sarcasm)

        my husband was horrified the first time I dragged him “back home” to MA, everyone just walks out in front of traffic as long as they’re in the crosswalk, no looking, nothing.

  2. All of the above and:
    * work at Google,
    * walk off the curb into the street while staring at your handheld phone oblivious to everything around you.

    The damn infantalized Googleoids are everywhere here.

Comments are closed.