Returning from the mailbox yesterday I started flipping through the latest Cabela’s flyer.

Tactical Turkey shotgun.

What the fuck is a TACTICAL turkey shotgun? To help you take out those Ninja turkeys? Has Al-Qaeda started recruiting gobblers? Or is this perhaps to help prepare for great turkey uprising, because they’re tired of the mass slaughter of their feathered brethren every November?

*sigh*

So Youngest overhears me spouting off about “tactical” and he asks what the word means. I explain what the word really means, then I explain how it’s become bastardized by marketing departments. How is making the barrel of a gun a particular length, tactical? How is making something out of black plastic, tactical? Giving it a pistol grip is tactical (so all handguns must be tactical by definition). We can’t forget needing a shoulder thing that goes up. Hell, you can make a pen tactical! Of course, CMMG understands how silly this all is, thus we have tactical bacon, black can of course.

Hrm. Does anyone make tactical toilet paper yet? It’d have to be black (natch), the tube would be made of plastic (not cardboard) and come with an ergonomic grip for ease of deployment. I’m sure if we could put a fart silencer on it that’d jack up the tacticalness.

Oldest and Daughter wandered over as I was explaining all of this to Youngest. My kids agree, it’s silly.

Updated: of course, earlier this morning I posted on the “tactical reload”. What makes it so tactical? Using the proper definition of the term, aren’t all reloads ultimately tactical? Bitch bitch bitch… 🙂