What follows is my, John Daub, recounting of my life-changing events of Monday January 5, 2015.
The Event
The day began like any other day. I woke up around 3:30 AM to go to the gym. Woke up, got ready, and arrived at the gym around 4:15 AM or so. I worked out, then returned home around 5:30 (my gym is close to my home, so I walk to and from the gym). All seemed normal, and after 2 weeks of holidays and semi-vacation I was looking forward to getting back into the swing of work and the normal work-life routine.
Upon returning home, I did my usual: taking off my sweats and stripping down to just my gym shorts (and underwear) so I can cool off before showering. I let the dog out back to do her morning business, and I went outside with her (it was cold in just my shorts, but it helps me cool down). Coming back into the house, my wife had just woken up and was coming into the kitchen for her morning coffee. As we typically do at this time, we chat about last night and the day ahead.
After our chat, it was time to get on with the day so I headed to the master bathroom. It was around 6:15 AM give or take. I was going to the bathroom primarily to shower but first with a pit-stop at the toilet. I sat down on the toilet and did what people do today – I had my iPhone in hand and was checking email and other things while I sat. After a few minutes of sitting, I started to hear noises outside. It was yelling, and while I could not determine what was being said, I could certainly tell it was the voice of an adult male or maybe males — I couldn’t determine a number (certainly 1, maybe more). The noise concerned me because I live in a quiet neighborhood, and there was no reason to have yelling, especially at that hour of the morning while it was still dark outside. Naturally, this highly unusual event gave me great concern.
I called out to my wife to get her attention because I figured she heard it too and perhaps had a better bead on what the noise was (and I wasn’t quite done on the toilet).
From this point on, everything unfolded quickly. In fact, it will probably take you longer to read this than was the actual duration of the event.
From my perspective, the main thing I remember is hearing my wife screaming for me. Her words were saying there was someone at the door. But the way she said it — the sheer mortal terror in her voice — was something I had never heard out of her in the almost 20 years of our marriage.
When this happened I realized I better get moving, so I gave a quick wipe, pulled up my shorts, put my phone in my pocket (I don’t recall doing this, but I must have given my later use of the phone), and quickly went to retrieve my handgun. My wife’s communication made it evident there was something extremely wrong, likely threatening.
Aside: all my brain focused on was the sound of my wife, her words, and the mortal terror in her voice. I can only assume the reason I did not hear the door crashing open was due to auditory exclusion, but I learn after the fact from my wife and my daughter the sounds at the door were extreme. My wife said the male voice on the other side of the front door was howling – at first she thought it was a coyote (quickly dismissed as that didn’t make sense)! Then the door was being aggressively rattled and shaken — this was not a polite knock at the door, this was aggressive, violent. My wife reports as she ran towards the bedroom, hearing the crash of the front door flying open. I did not see the door opening, as I was still on my way out of the bedroom.
I quickly exited the bedroom, went down the hallway (with family members fleeing past me in the opposite direction) and upon reaching the end of the hall and entering the foyer/living room, I saw what had happened.
I saw my front door was wide open, forcibly opened due to the obvious damage to the door frame.
I saw an unknown man within my home. I later measured and he was around 6-10′ inside my home.
I pointed my gun at him and repeatedly yelled “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”.
The man continued his approach towards me.
At that point, I fired my gun.
Once I saw the man change, that he turned to leave out the front door, I stopped shooting.
The man walked towards the front door, and fell down just outside the front door.
I yelled “CALL 911!” over and over. I went to the alarm panel to try to active the panic buttons but I couldn’t get things working (I recall then at that point hearing the alarm going off — did I activate it? had it been going off all this time? auditory exclusion… I’m not sure). I reached into my pocket, found my phone, and called 911 to report the incident. My wife was already on her mobile phone with 911 as well.
While waiting for the arrival of the police, I stayed as far away from the front door and the person as I could, but kept things in view. I had no idea what else might be in store (were there others? my belief was our home was being burglarized). After some time Austin Police Department arrived on scene (I do not know how long it took, but it felt like an eternity).
The After-the-Fact Knowledge
Well-after the incident, it was discovered this man was autistic and lived in a group home in the neighborhood. According to reports, the man had “become agitated” and ran away from home and would not return (apparently he had a history of such behavior, and according to his own family his behavior had become more unpredictable in the past year). Apparently he had banged on other doors in the neighborhood and other neighbors had called 911 in response to it. I don’t know how many other doors he banged on before he broke through the door of my home.
I had no idea who this man was that had forced open my door and entered my home. I had never seen him before. While I knew about the group home, they have always kept to themselves. While we might see the residents outside on occasion (e.g. a group walk around the block), we had not seen much of them in the past year. Even if we did, residents come and go, and since they keep to themselves and I’m sure due to HIPAA laws, there’s no way the neighbors can really know who exactly is living in the home.
I do not know what lead this man to behave as he did. In fact, anything and everything I know about this man and the particulars of the group home come from the media reports in the aftermath.
I understand the armchair quarterbacking that is afforded by the luxury of the after-the-fact knowledge. I was not afforded this luxury. Given what was presented to me as it was unfolding:
- aggressive howling and banging on my front door
- my door obviously forced open
- an unknown man in my home
- not obeying commands to get out even with a gun pointed at him
- his continued approach
I know any rational, reasonable person would have assessed the situation in the same way.
This whole event is unfortunate and tragic, and it is important to remember it is the luxury of after-the-fact knowledge that enables that assessment.
Legal
I was never arrested. I was never charged with anything.
On June 2, 2015, a Travis County Grand Jury no-billed me. All of the evidence – which included offense reports, pictures, autopsy reports, and ballistics reports – were presented to a grand jury and they found my actions were justified.
Addressing Some Questions and Erroneous Reporting
While the news media reports have been generally correct, there was enough inattention to facts and delivery by the reporters that have caused incorrect or unclear understanding of the situation. Due to this, along with armchair quarterbacking based upon this faulty information, I wanted to address a few things.
I do not have 3 daughters (yes, one news story reported this “fact”). I do have 3 children, but only 1 daughter.
No one in my household answered the door, opened the door, or went anywhere near the door. If your door was being aggressively, violently rattled off it’s hinges with a male voice howling on the other side of it, would you approach it? Neither would we, and we did not.
The door frame was physically broken. Here’s a picture of the door frame., and KVUE reports “Austin police confirmed the damage in the photo was how the door looked when they arrived.”
He was within my home. This was not at the door, outside the door, within the door. At the time I encountered him, he was a good 6-10′ into the foyer/living-room area.
I was not sleeping and my wife did not wake me up. As I said, I was sitting on the toilet when this began.
There was no time to call 911 and wait.
I did not “shoot first, and ask questions later”. I do not view a gun as the “only resort”, as the answer to all questions. I do not have a gun and am “itching for a chance to use it.” We have a well-lit exterior. We have a strong door. We have a dog. We have an alarm system. I gave this man opportunity to leave by repeatedly shouting a very clear command to “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!”, and waiting for a response/reaction. Yes I did have my gun pointed at him while I shouted, to give emphasis to my demand he leaves my house immediately. Due to my experience as a firearms trainer, due to my knowledge of violent encounters, I know quite well that the best thing one can do is work to avoid the situation. I did everything I could to avoid using my gun. Despite all those things, an unknown man forced his way into my home. His aggression, his breaking down my door, demonstrated to me he had the ability to bring harm to myself, my wife, and/or my children. That he broke through my door and entered my home gave him the opportunity to cause us harm. The fact he continued to approach me despite my pointed gun and commands gave me reasonable belief that my life or the lives of my family were in jeopardy. Given the totality of the circumstances, any reasonable person would have come to the same conclusion I did (home invasion, burglary, someone intending to steal my things and/or cause me and/or my family members grave bodily harm).
Could I have done something else? Like tackle him? Maybe. Again, with my experience as a firearms trainer and also my experience in empty-hand martial arts, I know that getting into a direct hand-to-hand confrontation like this could be a dangerous and deadly endeavor (here’s a video with sobering examples of how empty-hand, unarmed violence can be deadly). This man’s family described him as a “gentle giant” – “giant” being the operative word. When you hear a man described as a “giant”, what comes to mind? He was a large man, and obviously strong enough and aggressive enough to break down a heavy door. Would you want to trade punches or wrestle with such a person? I wouldn’t either.
Yes I’m big and strong. That doesn’t mean I’m looking for trouble, nor does it mean I want to get into trouble. Just because one can do something (e.g. fight, get physical) not mean it’s wise and safe to do that thing. Again, I know avoidance is preferred and I prefer to avoid physical altercation because I know of the potential cost (again, see the previously linked-to video).
My key point is precisely because of my training, I know better. I don’t have fantasies about being a hero. I don’t dream of getting into fights or confrontations. My knowledge of violence comes from studying real events, not from Hollywood movies nor ignorance. Because of my knowledge, I did everything I could to avoid having problems because I know avoidance is the preferred approach.
For anyone that thinks I was “lying in wait” or “just looking for a reason to shoot someone” or am “trigger happy”, what factual knowledge enabled you to arrive at such a conclusion? Nothing could be further from the truth! It’s a shame you know nothing about me, refuse to seek truth, and form and hold opinions based upon scant information, bias, and ignorance. In fact, I’m saddened to learn there are people in this world that view others with such blind contempt, instead of the understanding and compassion they seem to always demand for themselves. But you are welcome to your opinion, and your insistence on clinging to falsehoods speaks more about you than it does me.
Closing Words
Looking back on the event, I do not believe this man had any evil intent. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous – and by his family’s own words, by his actions of that day, it is evident he had the capacity to inflict harm. But again, I cannot believe there was evil intent here. You and I can “what if” the situation endlessly, but it does no good because it’s impossible to truly say how things could have worked out if something were different. But one thing I do wonder is how things might have been different if the group home had done their job.
I don’t believe any person would want such a thing to happen to them, no matter the context, no matter the circumstance. It’s an unfortunate and tragic situation for all involved. My heart breaks for his family. I ask you to please pray for the repose of his soul and for peace for his family.
I would also like to give praise and thanks to the men and women of the Austin Police Department with whom I interacted. They were professional, polite, helpful, and I have nothing but good things to say about how they operated with regards to my event.
I never wanted such a thing to happen, but it did and I can’t undo it – my actions, the actions of the others involved that lead up to and enabled this situation to happen. The best I can do is try to find something positive from it. To try to find some way to make the world better from it. One hope is that it brought the problems with the group home into the public eye; perhaps the lives of others will be improved because of this event, if it means bringing better protections, better oversight, better living conditions. Time will tell. But I will not sit by and just let time pass; I fully intend to be active in making good come from this event.
Stuff From Hsoi 
I’m sorry you were forced into defending everything you hold dear, I’m sorry a man had to die in the process and I’m glad you and your family were physically unharmed. Thank you for sharing your story.
If you’re willing, can you please describe the emotional effects this event had on you and what some of your thoughts were, both immediately after the fact and in the days and weeks afterwards?
Gosh… the emotional effects.
Lots. I wouldn’t know where to begin nor really how to tell it in any cohesive way.
Of course, it was a huge roller coaster. On the one hand, I’m happy my family was safe. On the other, I’m torn apart by the knowledge of who the deceased was. I was terrified when it was happening, I was relieved when the police arrived, I cried when they told me who they believed it to be.
Certainly it was harder to deal with in the days after, and as time went on things got better/easier. But then it was hard to deal with for other reasons — the investigation, waiting for the grand jury, just having that loom every day. But my focus was strongly on trying to “be normal” and go about life just as normal; get back to normal as quickly as possible. I think that helped a lot.
All in all, we managed out ok. I credit that to lots of training, preparation, forethought, and thus innoculation. And not just by me, but my family as well. We talk about such things, we don’t make things a mystery to our children — that doesn’t serve them. We of course spent a lot of time talking, crying, hugging, listening, whatever. And even still today, we still talk about it — it’s part of all our lives. But generally speaking, we’re doing fine.
Not sure what else I can tell you… mostly because it’s a wide question. 🙂 If you have more specific questions, I’m happy to field them.
Sadly, the expressions of some of the commenters are what I face every day. The skepticism, putting their challenges in quotation marks as if they were made up, calling them defective, seeing them as more of a problem to handle than as humans, their lives being worth less because they aren’t “normal”. I’ve been told they belong in a home such as the one you describe because they are seen as inconvenient or possibly dangerous. The problem is the demand for programs and facilities is far greater than what is available, and you end up with the situation you describe. Underpaid, overworked, outnumbered and untrained people caring for people who have challenges they don’t really understand, and in some cases, really don’t care about. When you realize you are relinquishing control of your child (even at 24, he was still someone’s child) to people who probably can’t love him as much as you do, who won’t sacrifice themselves for your child’s happiness and well-being, placing them in a home becomes a terrifying prospect, a feeling of defeat, that you have failed someone you love. As long as people with challenges are seen as “less than” and inconveniences or worse, threats, nothing will change for them. Killing them is justified.
Angel: I’m not sure where you’re receiving that impression. Certainly I seem to be the only person that used the word “normal”, and in my context I’m not referring to anyone but myself. And in doing so, I’m talking about “getting my life back to normal” — going back to work, kids going back to school, the typical daily routine, instead of living every day in the exception (as January 5 2015 was for me). That’s all that was meant — no reference to anyone but myself.
This can be a sensitive, complicated, and emotionally-charged topic for sure. I don’t think anyone intended any ill towards me, you, or people living in this sort of situation. Please don’t take anything ill from this; your voice is important here.
What you speak of is so true: more demand than supply, underpaid, overworked, outnumbered, untrained, and just how much care is there? And then yes, I had the very same thoughts as you: relinquishing control of your child to someone else that you know will never love and care for them as much as you will. I can only imagine how that must be.
Again, it’s my hope that in sharing this story, good will come from it. And while I know many will focus on “self-defense” parts of things, for me certainly a part is wanting to bring light to the very realities you’re speaking of. I want changes, improvements there too.
Add perverse incentives to that. The home does not get paid for how well they care for the residents, but rather for appearing to adhere to certain standards and procedures. Emphisis on appearing.
I’ve heard such things, yes.
You are very correct. That is one of the greatest hurdles that mental/healthcare regulation provides to have high quality, common sense treatment. As a nation we choose to invest our monies in making more money rather than trying to build up or social infrastructure.
John, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen or at least talked to you since this event. I had no idea you went through this last year!! I’m so sorry this happened. Thank you so very much for sharing. We train and practice to be prepared to protect ourselves and our loved ones from the unthinkable. Your story reinforces the need to always be prepared, not just concealed carry away from home, but at home when the doors are locked and the security system is on. I’m glad you and your family were not harmed. I’ll pray for the man and his family as you’ve requested. Thanks again.
Yeah, we’ve seen each other a few times in the past year, but don’t worry about it too much — it’s not like I go up to people and go “Hey, hi… guess what happened to me” 🙂 It’s all good.
Yes, there are a lot of things to learn from this. It’s why I shared it, and openly field questions people have about it.
And thank you for your prayers.
“We have a strong door.”
No. You have a weak entry point, now proven. Photographic evidence by yourself of a narrow door jamb with little material over which to spread the force of impact. Certainly not as strong as others in the neighbourhood, you said apparently he had done this before within the neighbourhood.
If a big guy with brute strength but little skill can smack it in in short order, then what could be achieved by anyone much smaller who knows where to kick a door, where to jemmy, etc……maybe look to that door jamb. And reassess any other entry points that you deem to be “strong” in the light of this.
You also completely failed to have situational awareness of your neighbourhood, and the possible risks within it. You had no idea what sort of folks were taken care of at that facility. It is not against the law to ask them for a little broad information as to the sorts of folks that come through their door.According to a link your yourself posted, it was apparently “Across the street from your house”.
Despite escapes happening several times previously, you did not have any idea that it had happened before. Talk to the neighbours.
At the point where he was in your lounge room, presenting an immediate unknown,risk, on the little information you had -at that point- it was a justifiable shoot. You had no other choice given the facts you had at that moment.
But, up until then, you made several important mistakes(knowledge/risks), as well as dangerous assumptions(door jamb, etc)
I hope you don’t teach assessing risk and situational awareness, or have learned from this experience. No mention of that here, however.
“If the group home had done their job.”
Yeah.
And if you were better at practicing parts of what you preach, were not complacent with your home security, and more invloved in the daily happenings of your immediate community, then perhaps you would not be writing blog articles defending having to shoot the guy.
Actually we do have a strong door, but yes you’re right — the entry point (frame) was weak. Strength compared to others in the neighborhood? Not sure how you can accurately draw that conclusion as another key factor — how hard he knocked on their doors vs. my door — is information neither of us have, but certainly affects the equation. To have the doors reinforced was long on my honey-do list that didn’t get honey-done. I guess you’re the sort of person that has a completed to-do list and everything in your life is always accomplished, and if so, well, teach me your skills and ways.
As well, it sounds like you have supreme knowledge of everything that goes on in your neighborhood. How do you know what I do and don’t know what’s going on in my neighborhood? How do you know how much I do and don’t talk with my neighbors? You speak with such definitiveness and superiority — and knowledge of myself, my life, and this situation — and I’m curious where that comes from. But again, from the way you write you seem to have greater skill and ability than others, so please teach me your ways.
Is it right to go up to such a house, or any neighboring house, and ask them “Hey, did any residents escape today?” “hey, did the police come out and deal with any residents today?” Step back and think what sort of impression that gives. Think how neighborly that comes off as. Because we’re not all home all day long, we (myself, my neighbors) can’t be constantly monitoring the streets and goings on for every single thing that goes on. Yeah, some goings on are going to be missed. And due to HIPAA laws, there’s just a lot we can’t know.
Was I perfect in all that I did? Of course not, and thank you for being the person to point them out — I never would have realized my mistakes if not for you. I know what I did that was right, I know what I did that was wrong. And that’s precisely why I’m sharing this, warts and all, because there are things that can be learned from this experience. And yes, if someone learns from my mistakes, then good!
I hope if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, or frankly in any and every situation in your life, you do everything perfectly. It appears that’s the standard you hold others to, so I hope you never fail to live up to your own standard.
Note as well:
This posting was not intended to be analysis and commentary on the event. This was intended to be a (re)stating of facts. The only information out there are news media reports, and 3rd-4th-5th-hand information — both of which are filled with misinformation, and a lack of information. One simple case in point, the one news story reporting I have 3 daughters, because my 2 sons are rather surprised to hear that (a fact that could have been easily verified, yet no effort was made to verify it, and even still today the story remains uncorrected). This is to put the facts of the incident out there, because “the Internet is forever”, so the facts need to be clear. That was the sole intention of this posting.
And yes, that can include my mistakes and failings. As a human, I have them. As a teacher, I want people to learn from them.
your juste being a dushbag , I want to see what would you do if that happens to and your family, he had him dead to rights. I think that he had done the right thing that was an stranger and he broke the door open and came in his house uninvited and Continued to go towards him. I myself would done the same thing so go fuck yourself.
Hey John,
I remember hearing about this and shortly there after learning it was you. I recall, after hearing about the man being a “gentle giant’, thinking and telling others that the descriptor fits you as well. ( You helped in the 2 classes I’ve had at KR.) I’m glad you and your family are well and moving forward.
I do have a question or two though. Do you recall the noise and flash made from the shooting? Was it as “bad” as it’s made out to be in classes (deafening/blinding)? Have their been any civil issues?
Best regards and thanks for sharing your story.
Hi Robb. Thank you for the kind words.
Do I recall the noise and the flash? Not directly, no. There’s no question I was feeling the effects of auditory exclusion as all I heard was my wife’s voice. I mean, I didn’t hear the door crash open, and both my wife and daughter described the sound as an explosion. Thinking about it now, I cannot recall if I “registered” hearing the gunshots — I think I did, but honestly I don’t remember. I can say that in the immediate aftermath I made a conscious check of “are my ears ringing?” , and I do not recall any ringing in my ears. I’m sure sound pressure waves from all these things made contact with my ear drums, but having a conscious processing and “registering” of them? No, not really.
That doesn’t mean you would process things the same way. In your case, it could well be deafening/blinding. It’s all whatever you wind up processing.
As I commented elsewhere, as of this writing, I am unaware of any civil action, towards me, towards the care facility, towards anyone. Because of how Texas law works, because I was no-billed by a grand jury, Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code Title 4, Chapter 83, Section 83.001 regarding Civil Immunity takes hold:
http://www.statutes.legis.state.tx.us/Docs/CP/htm/CP.83.htm
So while someone could certainly file a civil lawsuit against me, it’s unlikely they’d win so why waste the time/money/effort. But still, this is America, Land of the Lawsuit, so you never know. I’m not expecting a lawsuit against me, but in theory it remains in the realm of possibility. As for other lawsuits, such as the family of the deceased suing the care facility, I am unaware of any actions either way.
I spent a couple years working at one of those group homes here in Kentucky. I would imagine they are much the same in Texas. People would be truly scared if they knew who was living among them. Of my 3 “residents”, one was a sexual predator and a ward of the state. The second was a 300 lb behemoth with no impulse control and who was his own guardian.. The third was fairly harmless but he ended up being stomped to death a couple of years after I left. We were allowed to use force to defend ourselves or others, but we could not physically stop them from leaving the house, especially if they were their own guardian.
Don’t let the fact that your assailant was a resident at a group home weigh on your mind.
Thanx, Chris.
Thank you so much for sharing this! Like most other commenters, I am sorry you and your family had to experience this but glad to hear y’all are handling things ok.
My question is in regards to your attorney and interaction with the police. Do you recall what was said during your 911 call? Did you make statements directly to investigators or through your attorney? Both? Were you allowed time to decompress before you spoke to investigators like most police officers involved in a shooting event? I’ve read several articles in Concealed Carry mag and websites that suggest saying as little as possible and through your attorney if possible.
Hi Jon. Thank you for the kind words.
To your questions.
Do I recall what was said during the 911 call? To some extent yes, both on my part and the part of the dispatcher(s). But if I don’t recall well enough, I do have a transcript of the call as well as the original recording (I have a copy of the police report).
Did I make statements directly or through? Both. I know it’s often touted to “clam up”, and there’s sound foundation in why that’s the case and is a general good rule for the masses — diarrhea of the mouth is not a condition you should suffer from at a time like this! But on the same token, totally clamming up, leaving the officers on-scene with no idea of what’s going on means they have to figure it out for themselves and, being human as well, they may take your silence as “hiding something”. Not saying they will, but perceptions can be what they are — what you can do to help them, your case, etc., is important. So like in my case, I certainly spoke with the officers on-scene before a lawyer so they could figure out what was going on. What was what, where was where, and allow them to secure, assess, and do something about “the scene”. I’d prefer to be the one filling in the blanks (i.e. within my control) than letting them speculate and fill in the blanks themselves (i.e. something out of my control), y’know?
On the whole, I still think it’s good to speak SOME with those on-scene so they can make proper sense of what’s going on. Be polite, cooperative, but it’s also ok to answer, “I don’t know” (if that’s in fact the truth), or “I’d rather not say anything futher until my lawyer arrives”, or whatever. EVERYTHING you say will be rememberd, noted, filed, recorded, and be relevant to the investigation.
Was I given time to decompress? Yeah. I didn’t need tons of time, but they did allow it. They gave me space and time. No one ever rushed me, demanded of me, pressured me, etc.. Or at least, I never felt like anyone did. Austin PD was nothing but understanding and professional.
This was a true tragedy. The man’s presence in a group home meant that he was not capable of caring for himself. If any blame must be assessed it is on the employees of the group home who allowed him to wander off.
From a legal and most importantly ETHICAL perspective, his actual ability or intent is not relevant. What is relevant is whether you were reasonable in believing that his ability and intent were violence. And that certainly appears to be the case here.
You had no choice. You did not know his situation. Good luck with the aftermath of this unfortunate event.
Thank you.
John,
I lost the ability to read my blogs some time ago and just found this today as a result of the Lathrop article you posted and our FB connection (glad you’re on by the way). I’m so sorry this happened. Both you and the autistic man experienced pretty much the worse case scenario perfect storm. Against some pretty long odds at that. I play the mind scenarios a fair bit on self-defense but this one never occurred to me. There is no question that your openness about this will help some people and I praise you for that. No analysis or words of advice from me on this. I’d have done the same thing and felt equally awful about it later. If you ever want to bring the family down for a day trip and a BBQ here at the ranch, we’d love to have you. Get out of that big city and come pet a sheep or an emu!
Thank you.
I like the name of your ranch. What’s the significance of it?
Thanks Roy. It comes from Isaiah 61:7 (not sure if all translations render it ‘double portion’). When we bought our ranch, we felt it contained so many blessings that there were plenty to share with others. So, we named it the Double Porton Ranch. We also like to feed people and don’t want anyone leaving hungry so it fits there too 🙂
John ~ My prayers are with you, that you will not let unnecessary guilt haunt your soul. You did the right thing, especially in light of the fact that you had a family to protect.
Two things: I have a younger brother (in his 40s) living in such a group home. To my knowledge, not a single one of those people has ever gotten out into the neighborhood on their own unsupervised. As you said, if there is blame to be placed, it is upon the staff of that facility.
Secondly, I also have martial arts training, but I am now 65 and though still could use some of my long-ago training, I’m so out of shape any attempt to do so would probably make it to “America’s Funniest Home Videos”. I now prefer the line that says, “I’m too old to fight, to slow to run. So I’ll just shoot you and be done with it.”
Also, bear in mind that for every idiotic armchair QB that finds fault with your actions, there are dozens (if not hundreds) of “We the People” who support the 2nd Amendment and would defend your response as exactly correct.
I often wonder at how I’d feel if I ever had to take another human life. Years ago, I put my old dog down and that made me cry. But I also know that if I’m ever in a situation like yours, I will act exactly as you did.
Although, I sure hope when it goes down, I’m not on the toilet.
Roy: thank you for your kind and supportive words. 🙂