Forge onwards

Got nothing.

Prepping for a weekend of learning.

Feeling run down from all the dieting.

Work is good, but just exhausting.

Haven’t had enough time with Wife and Kiddos.

Paying attention to most of the world around me, all I see is people being mean, nasty, closed-minded, bitter, harsh, “if you don’t agree with my narrow view then you are an asshole and should die a horrible death” types of attitudes.

I read Orange Goblin is going to tour the world in 2013, but it seems their only Austin show will be during SXSW… too many bands I want to see do this, and it means they won’t get much of a set nor that I’ll get to see them because I can’t justify the expense of SXSW for just one band. *sigh*

I’m just not feeling it right now.

I think it’s just a feeling of being worn out, and each feeds into the other. The diet has me running on fumes, which makes it harder to work, which leaves me more tired, which leaves me just wanting to go to bed, which means less time with the family, which bums me out, which leaves me not wanting to do anything, haven’t been taking the dog out on morning walks (which is part of my exercise), hard to want to do my own programming projects (which I’m stoked about, but I’m just pooped), and so on.  I have been thinking about taking a day or more off the diet to try to refresh myself. I just don’t want to risk regression. I’m teetering on that edge tho. I’ve caught myself starting to slack on the diet, or allow myself a little something here or there to try to take the edge off. Not good.

Still going to try to smile tho. 🙂  Forge onwards.

2012-09-20 workout – Wendler 5/3/1, cycle 14, bench press 1

There’s no question… the dieting is taking a toll.

“Week 1”

  • 5 reps – Bench Press (working max: 235#)
    • 2x5x45 (warmup)
    • 1x5x95
    • 1x5x120
    • 1x3x145
    • 1x5x155 (work)
    • 1x5x180
    • 1x8x200
  • Asst. #1 – Bench Press
    • 5 x 10/10/10/8/6 x 135
  • Asst. #2 – 1-Arm Dumbbell Rows
    • 5 x 10 x 70

I got under the bar for my last set of bench press… and I just didn’t want to do it. My brain said “I’m done”. Just true exhaustion, just totally out of gas. But, I know the brain stops before the body as a means of protection and preservation. This is the time to dig a little deeper and give a little more. I did… got 6, I’m OK with that. Plus my rest periods were shorter during assistance work, I superset the presses and rows, and I really strove for great form… slow movement, good lockout, etc.

So it’s all good, but still… I’m pooped.

I’m also happy I still hit 8 reps @ 200. That’s keeping pace. I should be able to hit 225 just fine.

But there’s no question the diet is taking a toll on me, physically and somewhat mentally/emotionally/spiritually. It just wears on you being hungry all the time, not getting the satisfaction, not having the energy you’re used to. Yes, one can learn a lot from the experience… but it’s been a month and gee, it’s tough.

I’m thinking that in a few weeks I might take a weekend and relax a bit. Not an excuse to gorge, but allow myself to eat and enjoy it a bit. Replenish myself both physically and mentally/emotionally. Instead of limiting myself to 6oz of meat, if I want that 12 oz steak I’m just going to eat it. If I want a little popcorn or chips-and-salsa while I watch a movie with the kiddos, then I will (just keep it reasonable). Have a beer. Just allow myself a little break from this. Not too long… I still want to shed, but just something to help take the edge off, y’know?

2012-09-17 workout – Wendler 5/3/1 program, cycle 14, Squat 1

Whoops! forgot to enter this back on Monday.

“Week 1”

  • 5 reps – Squat (working max: 290#)
    • 2x5x45 (warmup)
    • 1x5x115
    • 1x5x145
    • 1x3x175
    • 1x5x190 (work)
    • 1x5x220
    • 1x5x250
  • Asst. #1 – Squat
    • 3 x 10 x 135
  • Asst. #2 – Pulldown Abs
    • 3 x 10 x 110/110/120

Plain and simple.

I ran out of gas.

I wasn’t physically pooped.. my muscles didn’t feel exhausted. But I was out of gas. I just couldn’t go any more. I know part of it was mental… felt run down, felt bad about my 250 set (it was ok, but I only eeked out the required reps and fell forward enough times).

I do think the diet is getting to me.

I am down maybe 10#… maybe. At my most I was 240, and I can get on the scale in the morning and it’ll be just this side of 230. I think it’s probably more like 7-8# of loss. Not 100% sure even if it’s all real or not. I think so, I see and feel some difference.

But regardless of that, I can tell I just can’t push it. Yes, I even think I might reset more. We’ll just have to see. If the weights go down, they do. I expect that and am willing (sigh) to deal with it.

And so a workout like this? just running out of gas? I have to expect it.

I tried to think about why this was the case. I think part of it might have been true energy depletion. Over the weekend I worked at KR Training. While it’s not exhausting work, I’m still on my feet all day and walking around almost the whole time. I know that’s going to burn a few hundred more calories than normal, and I was trying to be sensitive to keeping my intake normal… and I probably even shorted myself a bit. So I think I just burned out my reserves and that was that.

I have a plan on how to deal with such weekends now. We’ll see how it goes.

Anyways…. such is how it is. 🙂

APD supportive of personal defense?

“You need to protect yourself. If your life is in danger and you have access to a weapon, defend yourself,” said Cpl. Anthony Hipolito, Austin Police Department.

Full story. (h/t Paul)

Doesn’t seem to be an official statement of policy from APD, but it’s welcome to hear. It stands somewhat in contrast to the words of APD Chief, Art Acevedo, who comes across as unsupportive of citizens being enabled to defend themselves.

But it’s not necessarily surprising. All too often the Chief’s are more interested in politics, and it’s the men and women actually on the street who know and understand.

Maybe I need some “damp” fire

I’m taking a small break from the dry fire routine.

I need to fall back and regroup. While following TLG’s sample routine is certainly a good starting template, I have been thinking it’s time to adjust it more to address my specific needs.

I’m also bothered by my performance this past Saturday. Something isn’t clicking, something isn’t happening between live fire and dry fire. I don’t know. But I can say, I’ve got a trigger slapping problem. Maybe I just need a lot more live fire, putting holes in paper, and seeing what happens. That is, do more of my diagnostics in live fire. I do think that’s part of my problem… let live fire tell me what to work on, then work on it in dry. I just need a lot more live…and I need time for that. *sigh*

But I might have a possible solution.

“Damp” fire. 🙂  Or at least, that’s what I’m calling it.

It’s not live fire, but it’s not dry fire either. Basically, it’s getting an Airsoft gun and working with that. My hope is it will be close enough to my real rig and I’ll get the active feedback of a hole in paper to see what I’m doing wrong. I mean, I’ve been thinking how a lot of ball-and-dummy drill is in my future, but that means I need real live fire, which is not always possible for me. But I can do Airsoft at home, and that can be better than nothing. Or so I hope.

It may not solve my problems, but it might. We’ll see. What’s the harm. Plus then I’ll have an Airsoft gun to use in FoF scenarios. 🙂

I have purchased an M&P replica. This one is CO2-powered, which I’m OK with. Supposedly can get 200-250 shots per cartridge. Supposed to be metal and have a good heft. All signs point to being a reasonable attempt at replicating my carry rig, tho we’ll see how the trigger is by comparison.

It’s been shipped and is on its way. Hopefully will be here before the weekend. I’ll report back on it later.

2012-09-15 live fire practice

Following TLG’s sample dry fire routine.

The routine allows for substitution of live fire for dry fire, so my “week 1 day 5” was replaced with some live fire.

I was assisting at KR Training, so I didn’t get to do much formal, but I did a few things.

Let’s just say I stunk up the joint.

*sigh*

Well, I’ll break down some things.

Before DPS1 we do a pre-test with some reactive targets. I was going to demonstrate something to a student. No prep, no forethought that I was going to do this, it just happened as the course of conversation went to say “this is what you do”, and I just drew, 1 shot on target 1, 1 shot on target 2, both reactives fell over, and that was that. There was no thought, no nothing, cold, nailed it in short order.

That made me quite happy. Of course that’s what I should do, but what got me about it was hitting it cold, no thought, no prep, no nothing. Very happy with that.

But later on, there’s this “hostage” target Karl has, where it looks like a large steel IDPA/IPSC-shaped no-shoot with a small flapper just over the shoulder… probably 4-6″ (one of these days I need to measure precisely how much is exposed). It was probably 20 yards from me. I went through 3 magazines: 1 2H, 1 SHO, 1 WHO. I thought I was doing OK because I kept listening for the distinctive “flap” sound it makes when you hit it. Then Hogel comes up and asked who shot up the no-shoot — “because I just painted it”. *sigh* Looks like it was me, having a bunch of “near target hits”, or rather, unacceptable hits on the hostage. *sigh* Looks like the flapper activated either from splatter or impact vibration. *sigh*  I was most upset with that, thinking I was doing well, but I wasn’t.

On some other steel work, I was hitting poorly. I could tell what it was: trigger slapping, plain and simple.

The bad part was, I just didn’t have enough time to shoot on my own to really work and try to diagnose the problem. To shoot as I have in dry fire. There’s still a disconnect in my head somewhere. I need to figure some things out, collect my thoughts, then go talk with Karl.

AAR – KR Training – BP2 & DPS1 – 15 Sep 2012

A fine day at KR Training. Basic Pistol 2 in the morning, Defensive Pistol Skills 1 in the afternoon.

Rain was predicted, and we saw none of it. Some darker clouds would roll in and out during the morning, but no rain. In fact, a lot of sun by afternoon — I’m sunburned. I didn’t put on sunscreen expecting to be under a raincoat all day, since the forecast was saying the rain chances would pick up in the afternoon. Silly me for believing the weatherman. 🙂

Since Tom and I will be teaching these classes sans Karl in October, we did a lot of the teaching this time around to help get our heads more aligned towards running things vs. just assisting. My personal take-home there is we need to keep moving, mind the clock and our pacing, and remember that we don’t need to dump every bit of information on the students at this time. They have enough to swallow, enough pressure, enough nerves… get them to focus on the basics, to lay the groundwork even if we have to leave out details, even if we have to kinda allow some things to be learned “wrong” and re-/un-learned later on.

Case in point, reloads. At this point, we just need them to reload their gun. Officially we don’t teach reloads until Defensive Pistol Skills 2, but reloads do happen and we just want them to remember if the gun is dry, get it running again. That’s the key. Some important points like the basics of how to reload are important, like proper positioning of the magazine in the pouch, use of the “shooters workbench”, looking at the magwell, and so on. But there’s so many other things that CAN be involved in reloads, but honestly, they’re not important right now. Again, only so much time, so much information overload already for students, and they likely won’t remember this minutia anyways so just focus on the gross effort, skills, and mindset changes for now. And then, that keeps the class better on track.

It’s just tough… we love what we do, we just want to share that information. We want to enlighten as much as possible and have no vested interest in withholding information. It’s not like we’re some secret martial art society that withholds the true art until you’ve paid thousands of dollars and invested 20 years of your life. We want you to have knowledge… we just have to sometimes remember a steady drip is better than a flood. 🙂

Otherwise, a fantastic day.

Classes were full.

Basic Pistol 2 was majority women.

Defensive Pistol Skills 1 had about 1/4 women, which is good for such a class. I have been seeing a small increase in female enrollment in the intermediate-level classes, and I’m happy to see that. I hope to see a continued rise in such enrollment.

Lots of returning students too. Thank you all for that complement and believing in us.

 

Something we could all use more of right now

There’s a lot going on right now in the world.

There’s the whole handling of the Recoil Magazine flap.

There’s the new unrest and violence in the Arab world, towards Americans.

The list can go on.

The thing that gets me about it all? Well…

I’ve been listening to Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (yes, listen… audiobook while I’m stuck in traffic). It’s a book I’ve started many times but haven’t finished for whatever reason, but every time I read it well… I always start from the beginning, and chapter 1 has gotten a lot of re-reads.

The first thing Carnegie speaks of? “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.”

And it rolls on from there.

Hearing all of these things from Carnegie and then seeing how these situations have been handled? It bothers me.

It’s about how we choose to go about expressing our disagreement.

I know I’m far from perfect. I’ve got a record right here in this blog about many things, so I’m sure someone can easily go searching through the archives and find enough examples of me being an asshole or calling someone out, criticizing and condemning. I’m sure this article itself will be construed as violating those very things. I know I need to make a better effort, and yes… just like I’m working on my dedication to lifting, to dry fire practice, to my side-projects… and yes, perhaps now to how I work to win friends and influence people. I know I’ve got a lot to learn, and I know I can always improve myself.

But just reading/listening to Carnegie’s words? Gee… if we could all behave as he teaches, yeah… we’d remove a lot of resentment and ugly in the world, and build things up a lot better.

If you haven’t read the book, I recommend it.

You won’t melt from this unique training opportunity

It’s been about a month and a half since we’ve seen any rain here in Central Texas. Of course, that happened during the hottest part of the year… so intense heat and no rain really compounded our drought situation.

But the weather is breaking. The heat is going away, and yesterday it started raining. As far as I can tell, it’s been raining all night. This morning has a nice steady shower. This is the sort of rain we need, so the hard ground can soften up and soak in the rain instead of it all running off. Looking at the landscaping I can tell everything is perking up, both flora and fauna.

The cool part — apart from the drastically lower temperatures — is the rain is predicted to keep up through the weekend. Just what we need.

But it’s not just what we need ecologically.

It presents a unique training opportunity.

As per usual, we’ve got classes at KR Training this weekend. Whenever weather issues coincide with classes, Karl is proactive in sending out email to all enrolled students to discuss how we’ll proceed. Sometimes we have to consider cancellation or postponement because the weather is going to be severe and detrimental to learning and safety. But this is rare, and usually class can proceed, tho with minor changes to the program. We’ve done this many times before and are able to reasonably adjust the layout to cope with weather (e.g. some drills we will do inside with dry fire; many times this actually yields better end-results!).

But as per usual, once this email goes out, the student cancellations also start to roll in.

On the one hand, I understand. There was a time in my life where I refused to get wet or get dirty and just didn’t have the right mindset in me.

On the other hand, I’ve grown and changed and realized that such a training opportunity is a blessing.

The bad guys aren’t going to wait until it’s sunny and pleasant out to attack you. No, shit can and does happen at any time under any circumstances. It’s wise to train under different circumstances and settings so these things don’t affect you, or perhaps you can learn how these situations affect you. Better to learn in practice (when you can afford mistakes and a learning opportunity) than to be forced to learn when the flag is flying. For example, while I prefer to do my dry fire practice in the morning, when I do it at night I can see how tired my eyes are and that changes things for me. I’ve read about many top competitors that vary up their practice schedule because major (national, world) matches go forward rain or shine, so you better be used to shooting in the rain, in the mud, in the wind, in less than ideal circumstances, if you want to win.

If you don’t train in discomforting situations, those situations will never become comfortable. How do you think that fares for you ability to perform in the face of whatever gets thrown your way?

If you only do the things you like, if you only work under ideal circumstances, then you are leaving large gaps in your training, education, knowledge, and ability.

Yes, I won’t train at the Austin Rifle Club in the rain because they’re in a flood plain and rain means flooding and true (avoidable) danger. But the worst that happens at the KR Training facility is a little mud.

You won’t melt.

Rain isn’t a training artifact we can conjure up. It comes when it comes, and so when opportunity knocks you ought to take it. You may learn something you couldn’t learn any other way.