Category Archives: Humor
Just now I was dry firing… and tried to rack my revolver.
I think my muscle memory is oriented towards semi-autos….
I may be half-Korean, but my knowledge of Korean is pretty poor. The main reason is lack of exposure — I just don’t need nor use much Korean in a day, week, or month. Use it or lose it, y’know?
When I was studying a Korean martial art, I had actually brushed up on my Korean speaking and reading skills pretty well, but since that time, everything’s waned. Heck, if there’s any second speaking/reading (as opposed to programming) language I should know, it’d be Spanish, given the daily exposure I have to it.
Still, some time ago I came across this nifty little resource on How to Read Korean in 15 Minutes (and I always meant to blog about it, so finally here I am). The cool thing is Hangul is phonetic, so once you recognize the characters, sounding things out isn’t that difficult. Of course, to fully understand Korean is another matter, but I’ve found the ability to read and sound things out to be useful.
Wife loves Korean pancakes (Pa-Jeon). My mom told me I needed to look for this flour/powder mix called “Buchim Garu” (that’s how you pronounce it). She told me over the phone, so I knew what the words sounded like, but I had no idea what it looked like. And of course, everything at the Korean grocery store will be written in Korean.
Enter the joy of the phonetic language!
I was in the store aisle that was obviously of the flowers and powder mixes. I picked up bags, looked at labels, and tried sounding things out (hopefully your browser/computer can show Korean)
부침 (bu… chim…)
부침가루 HA! Buchim Garu!
I was triumphant.
(Funny… Google Translate translates that as “fluctuations powder”. Heh. “Frying powder” is more correct, but I like fluctuations powder)
Fun Facts About the AR-15
- The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired.
- Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.
- Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.
- Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask.
- In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick.
- The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry.
- It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that.
- Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15.
- The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.
- If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15′s, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.
- The AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit inside a matchbox.
- The AR-15 is the leading cause of global warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone.
- A very small percentage of gun deaths are attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other guns to frame them.
- What are the differences between an M16 and an AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something.
- The AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload.
- The AR-15 can shoot through schools.
- In a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15, Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly.
There were no shooting deaths until the invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, “I bet I could use this to kill a lot of people.”
- There was an assault musket similar to the AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced “Arrr-15.”
The Assault Weapon ban was needed because it is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor would be unstoppable by any modern military.
- In Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15 and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day.
- If you are shot by an AR-15, you become one and kill others.
- The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
I saw that on Claude Werner’s Facebook page. I have no idea who the original author is (I’ve seen it crop up in other places, no attributions).
There’s just some realities of the world that political correctness and good intentions cannot overcome. “F = ma” is one of them.
In response to my “Little woman vs. big man“, Chuck Rives commented “Good stuff. There’s a reason why even UFC adopted weight classes.”. The above was my response to him, and I think the notion is one that too many people forget.
I’m sure the CrossFit world is in a tizzy over Mark Rippetoe’s latest:
For casual exercisers, CrossFit-types and the like, the calculation is a bit different. The vomit I see on the internet – complete lumbar flexion, everything pressed out, everything intentionally rebounded from the floor, all done under the watchful eye of some moron saying “Nice!” – makes me of two minds.
Part of me hopes the fools hurt themselves badly (after all, orthopedic surgeons gotta eat too), and part of me hopes their incompetent, stupid-ass coaches all die in a great Job-like mass of infection (boils, abscessed hemorrhoids, lungs full of fluid, etc.).
It’s both an embarrassment to watch and a testament to the fact that apparently tens of thousands of people don’t know what the fuck they are doing, and have no apparent desire to learn.
But before you get too upset, consider Paul Carter’s recent comments. I don’t know if these are directly in response to Rip’s statements, but the timing was good:
Ok, I can’t stand the crossfit hate. I can’t. I’m so tired of seeing people bitch about it.
Crossfit has tons and tons and eons of women that ended up with hot asses from it. That alone means it has value. Lots of value. An overwhelming amount of value. Value for days. DAT VALUE!
Ok, that’s all. I think this Monster kicked in.
Frankly, they’re both right. And I think it’s worth looking deeper at Rip’s commentary before getting too upset about it.
But the real question here is this: what do you hope to accomplish by doing high-rep snatches, done either correctly or incorrectly? And in either case, is there a better alternative, and why?
His point is one of “why are you doing what you are doing”? What are you hoping to accomplish?
If you are just trying to exercise, fine. For most people, that’s enough. Part of the reason I quit studying Kuk Sool was because it was not taking me towards what I wanted to accomplish (self-defense). But I cannot deny the camaraderie/family was wonderful, nor that it helped me really get in good shape; my physical conditioning was the best it ever was. If you want social aspects, if you want just general better health, sure this is great stuff and thus good for a number of people. But if you want to know better self-defense, try something else.
So it really comes down to what do you want. Why are you doing what you are doing.
If you want a hot ass, then by all means keep CrossFitting.
If you want to get strong, if you want to get conditioned, Rip’s point is there are better means to accomplish that end.
I follow a Facebook page called “Awkward Gym Moments“. There’s often video posted of people performing activities at the gym that just make you wonder what they are doing. Some of these people are great, because they know what they are doing and don’t care what you think. But certainly there are enough activities going on that do make you scratch your head and wonder what’s going on. It makes you wonder, what are you trying to accomplish? What is your goal, and how is this going to get you there? It doesn’t have to be obvious to the dude surreptitiously videoing you, just so long as you are actually doing something positive towards accomplishing your goals.
This isn’t to put anything nor anyone down. This is about ensuring you have a goal and are working to meet it.
TMI time: I had a flat butt.
I recall an old friend describing it like it was just a continuation of my back, with a crack in it.
Dr. Mendieta performed liposuction on Mr. Vickers’s abdomen and love handles, then injected the fat into the buttocks.
“They take the fat where you don’t want it, and put it where you do want it,” Mr. Vickers said.
As men age, they tend to lose fat from their buttocks, faces and hands, while gaining it in stomachs and chests, Dr. Mendieta said. Weight lifting yields only modest results for the posterior.
“The only way to pump up your derrière,” he said, “is with your wallet.”
Spoken like someone with something to sell.
You know what else cures it?
Seems to be working for me. Just ask Wife.
While driving home the other day, I saw a bumper sticker. It said something to the effect of:
Voting is like driving a car:
Put it in (R) to go backwards
Put it in (D) to go forwards.
Har har. Cute.
But it overlooks something.
You see, “R” and “D” only exist on a car with automatic transmission. You know… a mechanism that removes your need to think, to work. It alleviates you of responsibility, and takes control of your life and driving experience.
A manual transmission makes you do the work, makes you take responsibility. You have to pay more attention, but you have a closer relationship with the road, your driving, and the whole life experience. It’s far more satisfying.
But alas… these days, so few people know how to drive a manual transmission, have never experienced it, don’t know what they are missing, and are too willing to be satisfied by someone else being in control.
Your metaphor… it goes deeper than you think.
A couple days ago I received an email from Mark @ ammoforsale.com. I will say, it was nice that it wasn’t a form email out spamming the gun blogs — he commented on my grip post. No idea if he really reads the blog or just saw the one post enough to send the email… but whatever. It shows he made a little personal effort instead of being a spam-bot.
I’m writing in hopes of putting something on your radar – we just wrapped up some videos featuring “The Greatest Caliber Ever”. (Spoiler alert – they’re all the greatest)! If you get a chance, I’d love to hear your thoughts:
Each of the videos has an easy embed code; you’re free to share them with your readers if you think the short videos are worthy and something they would enjoy.
And while they do have embed codes, I can’t embed them here. Oh well. You should click on them anyways and drive traffic to their site… which is the point, isn’t it?
I don’t often post things like this, but the videos were short, funny, and well-produced. Don’t take it too seriously.
A little humor for your day.
From Karl Rehn:
Self-defense training is about risk reduction. Those making choices based on Y chromosome-induced testosterone poisoning, rather than logic, reason, and data analysis, deserve whatever problems their stupidity leads them into.
(posted in a FB comment about the SERPA holster).