Category Archives: Humor

New home defense tactic

A burglar in Georgetown ran away with empty hands and an eyeful Wednesday night when he was confronted by a nude, pistol-packing homeowner.

[...]

“I have a tattoo of the grim reaper, my hair is sticking up all crazy and I’m naked,” said the homeowner, who asked that his name be withheld for safety reasons. “I’m not sure if (the burglar) was more afraid of me or the gun.”

Full story here.

So there you go. New home defense tactic. ;-)

 

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Country music vs. Heavy metal

The other day I was showing Oldest this video about “why country music was awful in 2013″

Watching this again, I realized there’s a key difference between country music and heavy metal.

With country music, it’s agrarian. Time is relative to when the moon comes up and the sun goes down.

With heavy metal, it’s technical and precise.

2 Minutes To Midnight

with “10 Seconds to Love” (NSFW)

Although sometimes it might be a little more vague, because we’re “Livin’ After Midnight”

or just waiting for the “Witching Hour”

Then there’s rap music.

Target fixation

Sasha, our dog, was sitting in the kitchen because of course it was food time!

I was eating a sausage patty, and her eyes were glued to the patty in my hands.

When Wife tossed a bit of sausage at Sasha, it bounced off her head (Sasha’s very good about catching food in mid-air)… because her eyes were glued to my sausage patty.

This is what we call “target fixation”, and how it can cause you to miss important things in life. :-)

 

She’s right, you know

Talking with Wife about the concept of “follow through” (in this case, as it pertained to shooting a handgun).

She said, “Yeah… follow through… it’s what you do for all those years after you say ‘I do.’”.

Heh. :-)

 

Learn to Read Korean in 15 minutes

I may be half-Korean, but my knowledge of Korean is pretty poor. The main reason is lack of exposure — I just don’t need nor use much Korean in a day, week, or month. Use it or lose it, y’know?

When I was studying a Korean martial art, I had actually brushed up on my Korean speaking and reading skills pretty well, but since that time, everything’s waned. Heck, if there’s any second speaking/reading (as opposed to programming) language I should know, it’d be Spanish, given the daily exposure I have to it.

Still, some time ago I came across this nifty little resource on How to Read Korean in 15 Minutes (and I always meant to blog about it, so finally here I am). The cool thing is Hangul is phonetic, so once you recognize the characters, sounding things out isn’t that difficult. Of course, to fully understand Korean is another matter, but I’ve found the ability to read and sound things out to be useful.

Story time.

Wife loves Korean pancakes (Pa-Jeon). My mom told me I needed to look for this flour/powder mix called “Buchim Garu” (that’s how you pronounce it). She told me over the phone, so I knew what the words sounded like, but I had no idea what it looked like. And of course, everything at the Korean grocery store will be written in Korean.

Enter the joy of the phonetic language!

I was in the store aisle that was obviously of the flowers and powder mixes. I picked up bags, looked at labels, and tried sounding things out (hopefully your browser/computer can show Korean)

부 (bu….)

부침 (bu… chim…)

부침가루 HA! Buchim Garu!

I was triumphant. :-)

(Funny… Google Translate translates that as “fluctuations powder”. Heh. “Frying powder” is more correct, but I like fluctuations powder)

 

Fun facts about the AR-15

Fun Facts About the AR-15

  • The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired.
  • Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.
  • Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.
  • Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask.
  • In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick.
  • The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry.
  • It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that.
  • Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15.
  • The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.
  • If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15′s, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.
  • The AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit inside a matchbox.
  • The AR-15 is the leading cause of global warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone.
  • A very small percentage of gun deaths are attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other guns to frame them.
  • What are the differences between an M16 and an AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something.
  • The AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload.
  • The AR-15 can shoot through schools.
  • In a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15, Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly.
    There were no shooting deaths until the invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, “I bet I could use this to kill a lot of people.”
  • There was an assault musket similar to the AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced “Arrr-15.”
    The Assault Weapon ban was needed because it is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor would be unstoppable by any modern military.
  • In Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15 and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day.
  • If you are shot by an AR-15, you become one and kill others.
  • The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.

I saw that on Claude Werner’s Facebook page. I have no idea who the original author is (I’ve seen it crop up in other places, no attributions).